Writes of Courage

Chapter 9: The Youth

A word many, including myself find synonymous to the future – youth. The fresh blood, young, bright and innovative minds. The movers and shakers, the table-turners. With the world being such an open field of play, it's a joy being a young person in this time we dare live in. However, it is very tricky. In as much as there is opportunity for a shot at a bright future, I can safely say that there is a fair number of odds that come with being young.

As aforementioned, being a young person is quite challenging. It's more of a transitional phase where you are learning and growing in so many aspects of life and your own being. You are clouded by a lot of confusion and uncertainty about who you are as there is just so much happening in and around you. A time of discovering one's passions and purpose in life. But that's just the internal part of it, there's plenty more that happens in the external world. Being a youth is such an exciting horizon to land on in life. It's like a door to the world, which opens you up to the infinite possibilities of life. Allow me for the purpose of this chapter to refer to the youth as someone from 18-years-old. This is because I feel that for a lot of us this is when we now move out into the world and embark on a journey of independence, exploring the world and finding oneself. All the other years prior to 18 are pretty much spent in school, for most of us. 

I suppose I would like my first stop to be social media and just how in charge of the world it has become. A lot of young people spend a huge chunk of their days on their phones, catching up on the hottest 'tea' and latest trends on the socials. Social media probably has to be one of the best things to ever happen to the world since sliced bread. There is a lot of liberation amongst us millennials – so much that's always on our minds that we would love to share with the world. Social media has become somewhat a revolutionary tool that dabbles perfectly between giving rise and shine to internet stars and putting across important messages for awareness causes. It's always such splendor in my eyes to see young people rise out of their circumstances and become digital content creators of note. That's what social media is – a platform of change. Artists of all kinds promote their work, while others are enabled the chance to express their creativity and give the world what it's been missing. All you need is for one person to like and share your work, the next thing you know you've gone viral and your life has changed forever. How simple it seems and sounds, makes me see a glimpse of brightness in our future.

Still, much like every very good tool or invention, there is always going to be people who are going to find a way to misuse it. For a good few hours in a day, it's very easy for one to forget all the good that social media has brought with it as a result of the severity of the pain that is causes. Now, here's the catch. There is absolutely nothing wrong with social media, the problem lies with us the people who use it. Afterall it is just social media network apps that work at our operation. We are always saying just how negatively impactful it has become amongst young people. The people are what make it seem to be such a terrible thing from time to time. It's terrifying how vilification and cyber bullying have become a culture that is being endorsed and condoned. Ridiculing and laughing at someone else's pain. Body shaming! Oh, how I wish that it could all cease to exist at my command. Unfortunately, it's what we have to learn to live with. It is revolting how it has become okay or normal to trash someone about their looks, sexuality and basically any decision about their life. What's even more repulsive it the backing that people receive in the comments, essentially telling that person that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing or saying. It will forever remain a mystery to me that people do not see anything wrong with being cruel to others. What's worse is that they hide behind fake social media accounts and perpetuate cruelty. What does your conscience tell you in that moment about yourself as a person? There will never, ever be an excuse for that kind of heartlessness – being evil to a person who's merely trying to live their life, that you do not even know. Yes, after a while it's something that the victim can get used to ignoring and blocking out. I can imagine the harrowing emotions that they have to go through to finally get to that place of 'I don't care' anymore. How do you sleep at night knowing that someone took their own life because of something that you said to and/or about them?

Because this is becoming such a fast-growing 'culture', it tends to steal away from the joy and confidence I have in the future. More and more kids who are set to grow into adults are being exposed to all this barbaric behavior as they expose themselves to social media. One of which being the so-called 'cancel culture', where people are written off and campaigned against for having made a mistake that they have sincerely acknowledged and apologized for. Yet, the same people causing all the uproar are the exact same ones following and applauding bullies for making other people's lives miserable. The hypocrisy is astoundingly disgusting. Then, there is this constant saying that makes my stomach turn, that goes 'do not take things personally, it's just social media'. I find myself so many times yelling 'SHUT UP!', because wow! How do you expect someone not to take things personally when you are dragging their personal lives and spewing utter nonsense about them and rejoicing at their failures, or when you write the words 'kill yourself'? How?! I would not like to refer to people as evil, but man, what other term fits best? No, man, let us check ourselves and correct our ways. It is hastily getting dark and out of hand.

On a lighter note, it's reassuring to see that there are those who still have their dignities and humanity intact, and are able to differentiate between right and wrong, and don't just hop aboard the 'trend express' and say things for the sake of saying them. We are trying to build and shape the future of the world, by producing wise and responsible young humans. All social media networks are powerful tools, that it is inevitable that most adolescents will join. It's just unfortunate that most of them are walking in on a time where it seems like becoming famous and getting as many likes as possible is the end game and all that currently matters. They aren't really being made aware of just how ruthless it gets on those streets. It gets so blurry that it seems much easier to go where myriads are going than to stand by oneself, with complete disregard of what that path they're going down looks like for them.

What we need to standardize and educate people about is that social media is great for growing your business, brand, making money independently and moments of lightheartedness. However, it can get really bad for you if you are going to rely on people's comments and likes for validation about yourself as a person. It can get very dark and addictive if you are not sure of yourself as a person because you take in their opinions about you. Nobody owes you anything – not a like, not a comment. You might find that half of the people 'following' you don't even like you. They are just there to monitor the ins and outs of your life, to celebrate your achievements under pretense and be the first to laugh at and share your fails. We appreciate those who are genuine and take inspiration from both your winnings and shortfalls. Tread carefully for anything you say can and will be used against you (see what I did there?). Detach yourself from the plastic love and be okay with knowing that not everybody who claims to love you actually does. Share what you want, but not at the expense of someone else. In as much as nobody owes you anything, ditto with you. If it gets too much, there is only a delete button that stands between you and your peace. It will feel like none of it ever even existed. You can live perfectly fine without social media. Don't let it get to a place where you become mentally unfit or oppressed because of things people say about you. Prioritize your mental health and peace above all else by just walking away from it all. Some battles are far less significant than others. I don't believe that we are bad people, sometimes we just allow ourselves to make bad decisions, that we could walk away from, change and become better members of the human race. It's just very unfortunate that those bad decisions in some instances leave behind a lot of pain and fatalities.

I am disturbingly bothered by the high rates of unemployment and substance abuse amongst the youth. I simply cannot ignore the fact that somewhere out there, there is a young life that is being wasted on drugs. It is heartbreaking to see so many of our own sleeping under bridges and having given up on life, enslaved by a drug and ready to succumb to it. What starts off as a moment of experimentation leads to life-altering effects. I pray for mindfulness, better choices and responsible freedom amongst us. We deserve better, and only we can give ourselves that.

Apart from the bad that we are capable of, we are also capable of doing amazing things. In South Africa, the astonishing fighting spirit of the youngsters fighting for a better future for themselves, and the coming generations is a thing of eternal gratification. Between the 1976 June 16 Soweto uprising and the 2015 #FeesMustFall movement, the uncontainable fire that a young person possesses has proven to be beyond commendable. What was labelled as rebellion turned out to be revolutionary. Although the two events were almost four decades apart, the objective was still one – fighting for a better education system that left no child out. What has captivated me beyond comprehension is the fact that on both occasions, unbelievable fearlessness was shown as the learners and students respectively, were willing to lay down their lives for a cause that they knew was far bigger than them. Though it is heartbreakingly unfortunate that lives were lost, the bravery that they displayed keeps their memories alive. Now, what I took from all of this is that there lies mind-boggling ardor in the spirit of a young person. The drive, determination and willpower to stop at nothing when it comes to what they have set their mind to. That is exactly the mindset that every young person from every part of the world deserves to have. To have that dream, and the passion deeply burning alongside it to fight for its birth. It again says, the change that you so badly want to see in your life and in the world you can achieve. Don't dwell on it, do it. Looking back at it will forever serve as a reminder that nothing is unattainable. Be the David in your story and topple that Goliath. Refuse to be branded as a victim of the circumstances that life has placed you in. Wake up and go fetch that life for yourself. That life you're always dreaming about. It doesn't have to end up as just a pipedream. It has been planted in your head and spirit for a reason – it is yours to claim and attain. You are your biggest mountain. Once you exit your own head and start living in possibility, no matter how long it takes, you will get there. Youth is synonymous to power. Want it, want it all for yourself.

You know, for some people the period of their youth is the toughest time of their lives. While some had the fortune of being born into privilege, others have had to experience life as a jungle – survival of the fittest. One might even say life is unfair on them. There are those who have to raise their siblings, some are homeless, while others have to move from relative to relative because they don't have a place to call home. It is due to such heartbreaking conditions that other human beings have to live under, that I am reminded to be more grateful for the little that I have, because there is someone out there who would be willing to trade places with me in a flash. Compared to what they have to live through every, single day, what I consider to be little would mean the world to them. If we were to live our lives through someone else's life for just a moment, we would learn to complain less and appreciate all that we have just a little more.

I can't imagine what it must feel like to become a parent prematurely and carry responsibilities that no child deserves to bare. Or losing everything as a child and having to find ways to fend for yourself, sometimes even your siblings. For some it gets so difficult that they must completely leave school because it's too hard to juggle both. From someone looking from the outside it's very easy to judge someone who has fallen into the life of crime or prostitution. We are so quick to call them names and cast them with stones. But do we ever pause for reflection to think what may have led them to such positions of risking so much? Sometimes without any proper guidance in situations that require immediate solutions, we are forced to resort to the most drastic measures that seem like the only option on the table. Do not compare people or situations. Just because someone else opted not to, does not mean that the next person found it easy to. If you do not know what it's like to go to bed on an empty stomach, to have your children or siblings cry because they are hungry and you feel completely helpless, to not know where your next meal is going to come from or have to go search through rubbish bins for food, keep your opinions to yourself. If you've never had to experience any form of difficulty in your life, do not say anything. Better yet, whether or not you know the kind of situation that person left behind, refrain from making any kind of comments about their life.

I am in no way condoning anything as I understand that these go against the set 'standard mores' of life. My objective is merely to plead with the human in you to show kindness to everyone you come across in life, without judging them for their choices because you do not know what led them there. I am not speaking on behalf of those who had a choice not to, also on the same wavelength, I'm not judging them. My heart beams for those who were able to change their lives around and defied the odds that were set against them. I believe that you are assigned a specific life task that has you on a steep climb for a very long time because you are equipped for it. At some point you will get through it, no matter the different, unconventional routes you take, you will always end up where you are supposed to. Do not give up on yourself just yet. There is still so much ahead. This dark patch isn't your final destination. Your rainbow and sunshine are waiting for you on the other side of the storm you are facing. Continue with your head held high and the smile on your face. You are going to make it.

One of the most unnecessary and seemingly problematic things about being a young person and trying your utmost best to figure life out would have to be deadlines. The set deadlines of expectancy on how we should be living our lives and how we should accomplish certain things before a certain age, otherwise we are failures. The pressure of being made to feel like, for some weird reason you are running out of time, chasing things that you are not even certain that you want for yourself, while everything you've achieved up till this point is not acknowledged. Things such as getting married or having kids should not be dangled over our heads as some form of accomplishment in life. Other people just don't want to get married or even have children, and that's perfectly fine. What's not okay is making them feel like their desires in life are wrong and against morality. What's important at the end of the day is to be happy with the choices you made regarding your own life, giving you a fruitful and regret-free life to look back on. On the contrary, it's also okay for people to want to get married young and have whatever number of kids that they wish to have. Still – nothing wrong! Obviously, a lot of elders may see this as a mistake or just rushing. But once someone's mind is made up, I feel like they should be allowed to go through with it. If it indeed turns out to have been a mistake, it's still okay. Sometimes that's how we learn best. You can water a plant as many times or as aggressively as you want, but it will still grow at its own pace. Much like the gardener, parents and guardians should very much advise their children but still give them the necessary space to grow and make their own decisions, mistakes included.

It is quite unfortunate that so many young people are not immune to the airborne disease that is narrow-mindedness. Narrow-mindedness could also be interpreted as short-sightedness. Because of their circumstances and how they grew up, they became forced into a way of thinking and viewing life from their current standing. Their minds are so colonized that they cannot bring themselves to believing that there is so much more to life beyond what their imaginations could ever envisage. They've allowed themselves to be prisoners and victims of their circumstances and backgrounds. Life is too glorious to be throwing yourself a pity party every chance you get and blame your circumstances for your discontentment with your own life. You are responsible for the outcome of your life at the end of the day. Pointing fingers and waiting for people to help you will do none at all for your life. Forsake everything that is setting you back and listen to that little voice telling you to stop being irresponsible and start making something out of your existence.

You are going to be confused and sometimes feel lost. It's the theme of growing up. Overwhelmed on most days. Feeling like you can't carry on because it's just so difficult to get by. No one knows what their tomorrow looks like, but you're going to want to be there for it. Do it for yourself. Do it for your future and make yourself proud.


[REFLECTION: Days of our youth = fun! That's all there is to it. Seize and enjoy every moment of life. Be happy in the world. Make yourself proud, defy those odds and leave a story that we can tear a page from. Never give up on yourself. Go after that dream that keeps you up at night and makes your blood rush. Don't limit yourself or your capabilities. That aspiration that seems so wild and unattainable – give it your best shot and as many shots needed to eventually get it.]