LOVE

Chapter 10

If you ask Rose, what made her like Marley, she will tell you about how he just makes her feel seen, heard and easy to read. At first sight Marley is far from being her type, she usually likes big boys with big muscles, the one you know they'll protect you just by looking at them, he liked them tall, older and bigger preferably with curly hair. And yes, Marley was taller and older but he wasn't a big boy neither did he have big muscles, he was skinny, a buzz cut and money eyes, but it didn't matter how looked liked, it's not that he's ugly, he's far from it, it was all about how he is, the way he talks, his personality, how he acts and how he makes her feel safe. She never imagined herself with someone like Marley, but yet for now she can't imagine herself not with him.

Marley stayed for the night, he didn't want to let her alone, and as the night went by, he witnessed her getting more and more emotional.

He knew, she wasn't okay, but he didn't want to bring it up, in fact he was worried, he knows what she went through all these years they spent partly away one from the other, and the thought of the tiniest possibility of her being damaged and it won't be as easy for them as it used to be, didn't leave his mind. When he knew her, she was this innocent naïve girl, they did everything together, they never felt the distance separating them. He knew her better than how he knew himself. But now after all these years and what happened from bad to good, it changed her, and we all change in a way or another and he knew he brings up the old her when they're together, but it doesn't mean that the person she became, the stranger one, the one who's a psychology student and a professional dancer, the one with the big life who had to rebuild everything when she moved away, won't be there once they go Paris. And what scared him was how he didn't know her. The first thing that comes to his mind thinking about it is the word "stranger".

Even Marley went through a lot after they slipped up, he went to his dark place, the one he was in before meeting Rose and the one she got him out of, but this time it was worse! He started drinking again, and tried some meaningless hookups with girls. But it made him feel even worse about himself. And that's when his loop started. Once he feels bad about what he does he isolates himself, starves himself and stops drinking, then he gets fed up and starts drinking and partying again. And nobody really noticed, and that's when he missed Rose even more, because she would've seen it!

What no one knows was how he used to blame himself for every bad thing Rose went through and starving himself felt like what he had too, because when you feel physical pain, the voices tend to get quiet. He wasn't proud about it and he knew it wouldn't solve anything.

Rose did also have her own way to deal with things, over-sexualizing herself! Because when you can't be or seen by the one you love, your brain might think getting many eyes on you and being liked by other man will make it fade away, but it doesn't, not for her at least, it made her feel worse, to the point she hated herself but by that time she got addicted! She couldn't stop! And maybe that's why she got with Stan after some years, so she could stop herself!

It was as bad for her as for him, but the difference was, he didn't allow himself to be his weaknesses, or to show it, and till today, no one knows about what he went through, not even Rose or even Dora. And Rose, she used her art, and let herself feel things and talk about it! But what joined them was how they made every one of their minutes dedicated to work. They deep down believed putting their pain into something will make it worth it one day!

He was scared to relive the same thing as five years ago. He even wanted to propose but how could he do so, when she just expressed how inconvenient it was when her ex boyfriend proposed, but what if she wanted to be with him and marry him instead of her ex! But he was also confused, the situation was stressful enough to have these thoughts. But he knew he had to be there for her on whatever she decides to do on her pregnancy and then they'll figure everything out.

Rose and Marley were in separate rooms, she was sleeping next to her cousin while he was in the room next to hers, they both couldn't sleep, thinking about each other and what would they do, it was like their souls were connected. He wanted to see her so badly, he already missed her hugs. And as he was leave his room to knock at her door, he found her about to knock at his door, and without even thinking he took her from her waist, looked at her eyes shining and wet, he kisses her forehead, got closer to her ear and murmured to her "I will always love you Blais'', and before she could even breathe he started kissing her, like it had been years he didn't tease such thing, and as they were kissing they started going into the room to finally lock the door, he started going down to her neck as she was telling him how she loves him even more. They spent the night between kisses, cuddling and sleeping till the sun came up. They had the power to make each other forget their worries and problems. But the day has come and Rose has to figure out what to do.