Addiction

Kenma

The white light shines brightly in my face. It shines brightly of words surrounded in blue and grey. It shines from the glass screen as my thumb scrolls through the messages. It shines of my best friend's name. The name of the person who cares so much.

The name of the person I feel I don't care for the way that I should. The name of the person I lied to.

Kuro

Hey - 10:12 pm

Hey - 10:13 pm

Can I come over? - 10:13 pm
My mom's back again, and I don't want to listen to them. - 10:14 pm

Can't you talk to your sister? - 10:14 pm
She usually tags along with your mom to see you, doesn't she? - 10:15 pm

She's away at college. - 10:15 pm

Oh, right. - 10:15 pm

So, can I come over? - 10:16 pm

Not right now. I'm streaming. - 10:16 pm

Ok. - 10:16 pm
Daishou is here. I'm going to see what he wants. - 10:18 pm
Have fun - 10:18 pm

I stare at the time his last message was sent. 10:18 pm. I look up to see the current time. 10:57 pm. He sent that nearly 40 minutes ago. I wonder how he's doing now. Is he asleep like I should be?

Is he with Daishou for some godforsaken reason I may never know? God I hate that I lied to him. Telling him I'm streaming when in reality I'm trying to sleep. Trying every trick in the book to get rid of this stupid insomnia.

Telling him he can't come over just because I don't want to see the look on his face when he sees melatonin and various sleeping drugs on my bedside table. The look he'll make when he sees the journal I keep of my sleepless nights. Denying him a safe haven from his hell just to keep him from yelling at me.

Just to keep him from finding out my secret. So I don't have to see him as the wreck he'll be when/if he finds out. So I don't have to suffer from watching my best friend do everything in his power to help me at his own expense. That's precisely what he would do. And I know it.

So instead of telling him the truth. I'll lay here, quietly, scrolling through our messages. Through the times I've denied him attention, help, counseling through his stupidity, and more. Scrolling to the times I've lied. To the pictures he sends me of him and his dog. Looking at the times my phone says that we were on a call and for how long.

Just reminiscing, quietly, as I try to fall into something that will never come. I turn my head to look out my window to see the moon. The moon on the night of December 10.  The moon is currently a crescent. If Kuro were here he'd be able to recite the precise stage it's in and shit. Maybe go into something about space, astronomy.

Occasionally he might mention zodiac signs. 

I sigh. I want to sleep. Why is sleeping so hard? Why are things hard in general? I wonder how the other's are. Are they indulging in their addictions? Probably.

I hum to myself. I'm finally feeling a little tired. I might be able to get some sleep. Thanks melatonin. I turn my phone off and place it on my bedside table. I wonder how much sleep I'll get tonight. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Time to get some sleep before I wake up 10 times tonight.

(A/N: I'm sorry it's short. I didn't have much for him.)