Addiction

Daishou

That night. That night was surely something I would have never expected.

*******
The night was cold. I know should've expected that as it was December 10. But still cold. The snow was falling softly, resting on the ground and piling up bit by bit. Marijuana rested in my hand, much to the cat who walked next to me's disapproval.

It was clear he wanted it put down, but I wasn't going to. Besides, it wasn't like it was the heavy stuff. I'm not that addicted.

Yet.

He didn't look at me, just kept looking forward as he wrapped up in his jacket. Neither of us said a word, creating an awkward but comfortable silence. The crunching of the snow was calming, forming the comfortable part of our silence. The awkward part was the fact that neither of us had talked to the other without an insult on the top of our tongue in years.

We hadn't a clue of what to say to eachother. But I knew what he wanted to hear. He wanted to know why I had Marijuana. He wanted to know what had happened in the years since we stopped being friends to make me turn to a drug for a bit of happiness.

He wanted to know what was wrong and how he could help.

But I told him I'd explain everything once we got to a park or something. Somewhere to sit down. I could tell that it was unwilling when he agreed but I was grateful. I had time to gather my thoughts before I told him. Time to consider as many possibilities of questions that could cause me to out others and how to get around them. Time to figure out why he was bothering to learn about this.

To figure out why he was bothering to ask me if I was alright. Why he cared so much. What was going on in his head? What was he thinking? Why must he be so hard to read sometimes? Even Kenma had difficulty reading him sometimes and he's a master at that.

My time to think comes to a close when I see him walk to a bench and clear the little snow off of it, which made sense, he was out in pajamas pants, unlike me who's wearing actual clothes. Once cleared, he sits down and pats the seat next to him, which isn't necessary but I'm sure he just wants his answers. I sit and prepare myself as he speaks.

"Now tell me the truth,* he then asks "Why do you have marijuana? What happened to you? Are you ok? And don't give me some bull crap lie."

I sigh, I still don't know why he's so upset over this. He can't even tolerate me. And I've hardly ever been nice to him.

"The marijuana is a stress reliever for me. It does things to my mood that an antidepressant can't and I like the feel. The high is an amazing feeling. Don't worry, this is the light stuff."

He nods, relaxing a little from the looks of it.

"As for what happened. I don't quite know. I didn't even buy it. Well, I didn't buy the first bag. That one was given to me by an anonymous person. It was in my second year, I was extremely stressed and I found marijuana in my bag with a note telling me that it was for me. I was gonna throw it away but I didn't. I don't remember the first day I actually used it, all I remember is that I was crying. From there, I kept wanting the feeling it gave me and I bought more."

He was looking me dead in the eye, probably making sure I wasn't lying. But I wasn't, and I think he could tell.

"I'm still not doing well," I say "Mika isn't happy with me for god knows what reason, I'm losing interest in the one activity that brings me joy, I feel as though I'm letting my team down, and school isn't making anything better with mountains of homework."

Unexpectedly, I heard him laugh. I looked at him, shocked. I just told him a lot of sensitive stuff, and he's laughing?!

"What are you laughing at, asshole? Are you laughing at me? Damn you're more heartless than I thought-" He raised a hand to cut me off, still laughing.

"No, I'm not. I'm laughing at what you said about Mika. Women are always mad about something that men will never know. But my guess is she's probably on that time of month, but it's still funny-" He continues to laugh and realizing what he's talking about, I laugh with him.

I can't believe I hadn't thought of that. Here I was trying to please her and make up for whatever I did when she's just moody, which made her more upset for not understanding that. I stop laughing first but he's still laughing a little. I just realized how long it had been since we laughed with each other instead of at each other. It felt nice.

Then, suddenly,he went silent and hugged me. Now this made me freeze. Even when we both saw each other as friends, even when I used him and was rude as hell to him before he did the same to me, he would hug me but I never hugged back. Not once in the time we knew each other.

It was once that I tried to hug him cause I was going to manipulate him into doing something for me, but that was the day it became obvious to me that he no longer liked me. It was the day he finally got fed up with my shit. He told me that he wanted to take back all the hugs he ever gave me.

It didn't hurt me then but realizing now how much I missed the hugs he gives (he's a great hugger). It felt nice.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through, I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like worse shit. But if you need anything, even if I still hated you, friend, enemy, or archenemies, I will forever help anyone in need. So feel free to ask me for help." Is what he said as he pulled away, even now, I didn't hug him back, I think he preferred it the way it always had been.

"Thanks, idiot. I'm sorry for Always being an absolute asshole, even if you deserved it sometimes."

"You are an asshole, that's how you were born."

I look at him offended. About to defend my honor, he cuts me off.

"Is there anyone else struggling?" He asks, getting serious again.

Not wanting to expose Kenma, I say, "No, not that I'm aware of."

He nods, I don't think he fully believes me but he doesn't press for the truth.

"Alright, if you need any help, ever, call me." He takes a pen he seemingly had in his pocket and takes my hand. There he writes his own number.

"I don't have paper, nor did I bring my phone, so if you ever need me, just call. Let me know that it's you when you first text. I'll see you at our practice match in January. We're gonna win." He waves and walks off, leaving me at the bench.

There was no way he was gonna beat us. I'd make sure of that.  When he left sight I looked at my hand. My sister is going to be so happy hear we're on better terms.

I smile and relax in my seat. And for the first time in a while, I willingly put away my drugs. I didn't need them anymore tonight.