BEING JAMIE BAKER

Chapter 15

 It could have been worse, I guess. Though at the time I couldn't see how. But at the time I thought he was dead. He sure looked dead, which meant I'd killed yet another boyfriend. Not that Ryan was my boyfriend, you know, technically, but he was close enough.

I screamed at first—so loud that I'm surprised the neighbors didn't come to investigate even if they did live nearly two miles away—but the screams morphed into sobs when I noticed him breathing.

A wave of relief washed over me, but it wasn't nearly enough. He was still unconscious, his hair was standing on end, and his skin looked grossly pale. I had to do something. If I hadn't been sure I'd fry him all over again, I'd have carried him to a hospital already, but as it was, I couldn't touch him.

I hated feeling so helpless. I tried to calm myself down, but it was useless. The crazy emotions were rebuilding the energy I'd exerted with the blast of lightning. I was already starting to feel strong again, and that made me dangerous. All I could do was sit there with him and wait.

I cried, begging Ryan to wake up, until my ears caught the sound of the faint humming I'd heard just before lunch. I sucked in my sobs and turned my eyes to the forest, focusing all my attention on the sound. It was definitely electronic. A video camera maybe? And it was coming from way off in the distance, up the side of the mountain, deep in the trees.

The harder I listened, the more things came into focus. Wind pushing its way through the pine needles. Tiny feet scampering in the branches. A nondescript rustling in the bushes. Breathing. And a heartbeat. I wasn't sure I was hearing a human—a deer would breathe and have a heartbeat too.

At first I saw nothing, but the tiniest glint of sunlight reflected off something up the hill, and as I strained my eyes everything came into focus. The bush looked normal enough, but within its branches the colors blurred together a few shades darker. There was definitely a figure hiding there.

"Carter," I breathed. I was frozen in fear at the possibility that someone was watching me. I couldn't tell for sure, but what else could it be? The sound? The reflected light?

As I frantically tried to figure out what to do, I was startled by a horrible coughing fit. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. "Are you okay?" I asked, tears returning to my eyes. "Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry!"

Ryan pulled himself up. As soon as he had his wits about him his eyes focused on me. I was so sure I'd finally pushed him over the edge, freaked him out beyond repair. I was convinced that he'd run away screaming and never speak to me again. I was also convinced that that wasn't such a bad idea, but Ryan surprised me. The corners of his mouth slowly crept upward and he said, "That. Was. Awesome!"

His voice was a little gruff, but I could still hear the unmistakable excitement. The jolt had clearly fried his brain. "What?"

"Let's do it again!"

If my face was pale before, now it was white as a ghost, and Ryan laughed at my expression. "I don't mean the whole getting zapped part," he said. "Though I always wondered what it would feel like to get Tasered. FYI? It sucks. But you are seriously the best kisser in the entire world. So worth it. And did you see that? For a minute I was strong like you!"

Ryan grunted as he got to his feet. After stretching all his stiff muscles, he stepped toward me with open arms.

"Are you suicidal?" I screamed, putting a good twenty feet between us instantly.

Ryan blinked. "You're not calm yet?" he asked.

"Calm?" I screeched. "Calm? Ryan, I nearly killed you! How could I possibly be calm?"

Ryan studied my face for a minute and then rolled his eyes. His smile turned to a frown. "You're not going to let me kiss you ever again, are you?" It wasn't really a question.

"And you say you're not that smart."

"Aw, come on, Jamie. Getting zapped was my own fault. I shouldn't have touched you—I figured you didn't have any juice left in you when you collapsed. Maybe we need to figure out a way for me to know when you're charged up, but the kissing didn't hurt anything. You can't go ice queen on me over that."

"Hello? Did you see the part where I shot lightning out of my hands?"

"Yeah, coolest thing I've ever seen."

"Lightning that missed your head by mere inches and then exploded a tree?"

"But it missed me, and I caught the tree when it fell. No harm done."

I opened my mouth to speak, but it took a minute before any words could escape it. "You are suicidal."

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked when I headed around to the back deck and gathered up my things.

"I'm leaving. Playtime is over. No more practice."

"Jamie, you can't just quit."

"Watch me."

I ignored his pleading and zipped up my backpack. He chased after me as I bounded down the front steps. "Jamie, wait! At least drive back with me because we should really talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Okay, fine, then just humor me. You may be able to get home in a few seconds, but I have an hour-and-a-half drive... Please?"

Ryan gave me a ridiculous puppy-dog face, but his eyes seemed genuinely desperate. I wanted to take off, but since when have I been able to really walk away from him?

We were silent all the way back into town. A couple of times Ryan opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it. We both knew that what he wanted to say would only cause an argument.

Eventually he found a way to bring up the subject without raising my blood pressure. "You know, right before you did the thing with the lightning you looked kind of freaky. You're hair was flying all over the place, except there wasn't any wind, and your eyes were glowing."

"Glowing?" I gasped. Something about that image was very disturbing.

Ryan nodded and then cautiously asked, "What do you think happened out there, exactly? Not just the glowing and the lightning, but the thing with me and the tree. Have you ever done that before? Like accidentally given your parents your powers or something?"

I wanted to keep quiet, but I couldn't help the smirk that appeared on my face. "I've never exactly made out with my parents, Ryan, so, no. The lightning and the glowing and the you thing... all firsts for me."

"Okay," Ryan said, laughing. "But that is what happened, right? When we kissed, you gave me your powers."

"It would appear so."

"How is that possible?"

I shrugged, but then I really thought about it for a minute and said, "It must be the energy. Remember how I told you that the energy makes me feel different? I'm obviously transferring a little of that energy to you, and it must have the same effect on you as it does on me. That's got to be why you were so wired after we kissed that first time, and that day after I told you about me. I bet you probably had powers then too, at least on a small scale. You just never thought to use them."

"Do you think I had all your powers and not just the strength?"

I shrugged. "Probably."

"Cool."

I was about to explain to Ryan just how not cool that was, when he distracted me with another thought. "I wonder why it wore off so fast this time. Maybe the shock canceled it out."

"Shock?" I repeated dryly. "I think you mean electrocution. I guess it could be. Or maybe it's because you used it up quicker. It took superstrength to catch that tree and toss it the way you did. That probably takes a little more energy than running on a treadmill."

"Maybe. It'd be easy to test the theory, though. I'll bet we could go to the Grand Canyon after all. We should try it again next Sunday and see if I could keep up with you."

"No! No way! We're never doing it again. I mean it—no more practicing!"

"But you have to keep trying."

"Oh no I don't! This isn't football practice, okay? We're messing with something neither of us understands, and if I screw up you die. You may not care, but I really don't want to kill you, so we're done. End of story."

I was done having the discussion so I clenched my jaw and crossed my arms over my chest. Ryan, however, was far from finished arguing with me. "So you're just going to give up?"

"That's exactly what I'm going to do."

"You're going to give up on having a normal life? Give up on your own happiness?" Ryan paused a moment and then added in a surprisingly soft voice, "Give up on us? Am I really the only one who cares about that?"

His voice cut through my heart like a knife. I was hurting him again. I really hated doing that, but I didn't have a choice, and he refused to understand that I was doing it for his own good. "Of course you're not the only one who cares about us," I admitted in as gentle a tone as I could. "I wish we could be together too. Probably more than you do. But we just can't. Don't you see that?"

"You really want to be with me? Really? Like the way I do? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Suddenly all of my concern for his feelings vanished. "Don't act so surprised," I groaned. "You've been saying all along that you knew I liked you."

"Well, sure, I hoped, but I didn't know. You're very good at that whole acting detached thing."

"Yeah, well, I'm not detached. Not in your case, anyway. Happy?"

Ryan still looked like he didn't quite believe me, so I sighed. "Ryan, I like you a lot more than I care to admit. I was a lost cause from the minute you told me the truth about your bet with Mike. I heard y

our conversation before you came up to me, you know. I knew what you were up to. I was ready to chew you up and spit you out, but somehow you completely worked me over. I'm still surprised that you managed it."

He was truly shocked now. "You've liked me since the first time I talked to you?"

I rolled my eyes, but I still turned red in the cheeks. "I would never have kissed you if I didn't."

"Then why are you always so..."

Ryan didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. I knew what he was asking. "I didn't want you to know how I felt. I figured if you knew, you would only get more...Ryan-ish."

"Ryan-ish?" Ryan liked the sound of that. And worse, he liked how annoyed I suddenly was.

"Yes," I grumbled. "And when you start acting all Ryan-ish I can't seem to say no to you. It gets worse every day! You get harder and harder to resist every time I see you."

Ryan's confidence returned, and he had that stupid cocky smile on his face. It was very Ryan-ish, actually. "Well, if it's so hard," he said smugly, "then just stop resisting."

"Aghhh! You don't get it! I have to resist! No kiss, no matter how good it is, is worth killing you for. I've already lost one boyfriend. I am not going to lose another one! Do you understand me?"

Ryan didn't answer my question, but he was positively glowing. "You just called me your boyfriend!" he accused.

"I—" My mouth dropped all the way to my lap. "I did not!"

"Yes you did! You said you weren't going to lose another boyfriend, and that would be me—the other boyfriend you don't want to lose."

"But...I...I..."

"Ha! You said it, and you can't take it back! You are so my girlfriend now!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!

"Am not!"

"So are too!"

"Aghhh!" I screamed again. "You are so impossible!"

When I screamed, I lost control for a second and let out a burst of energy that stalled the truck. Ryan just grinned at me. He was lucky the car stopped right then, because I was contemplating knocking the stupid cocky smirk right off his face. Instead, I flung the door open.

"Bye, honey!" Ryan called playfully as I jumped out of the truck. "I'll see you at school tomorrow!"

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