BEING JAMIE BAKER

Chapter 3

It was an impulsive decision, and one that I couldn't take back. I'm not sure how Ryan got me to invite him over, but when he was standing right there, talking about chemistry and wanting to kiss me again, it's like he was the one with superpowers and he Jedi mind-tricked me into handing over my address.

I even started to believe it was a good idea until I caught him staring at me at lunch the next day and realized that he might actually take me up on my offer. He was sort of smiling, but he mostly just looked like he was trying to figure me out. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I must have looked it too, because he stopped staring and actually patted the table as if he was offering me the empty seat next to him.

I looked at him like he was out of his mind and not just for show. It was honestly a crazy suggestion, and I wasn't the only one who thought so. Becky was the first to glance my way, and when she gasped, she caught Paige Shultz's attention. When Paige realized what Ryan had done, she accidentally sprayed the soda in her mouth all over Tamika Larson.

Paige and Tamika are sort of Becky's ladies-in-waiting. They're best friends and constantly talk about Becky behind her back, but they put up with her because of how close she is with Ryan. (No one is more in love with Ryan than Paige. The way she rattles on about him to anyone that will listen is nauseating.)

"What the freak?" Tamika grumbled as she tried to wipe the sticky beverage off her arms. "It's a good thing this is your shirt, Paige."

"Jamie Baker—are you crazy?" Paige hissed at Ryan, instead of apologizing to, or even answering Tamika. "What if she comes over here?"

Ha! Even with the pout Ryan was giving me th

ere was no way I was ever going to join them.

"Well, considering that's kind of the point of the invitation," Ryan said, "I hope she does."

I suddenly had all of the most popular kids in school staring at me. It was the only time in my life I was glad I am the only freak with deathly powers, because I'm sure any one of those girls would have loved to go supervillain on me just then, especially when Mike laughed and told them all to take pity on his poor horny friend. "Aw, cut the man some slack. Did you see what Baker did to him? I'm jonesin' for her myself after that kiss."

All the guys at the table roared with laughter, and Ryan draped his arm around Mike. "Amen, Mikey," he said. "Who knew the Ice Queen could be so incredibly hot?"

I guess I'm not the only person with superpowers after all. Mike apparently has the ability to lower Ryan's IQ. Morons.

Anyway, I knew Paige, being scary in love with Ryan, wouldn't like that answer, and I was sure Tamika was going to have to catch her when the poor thing passed out from heartbreak. But Paige had a little more attitude than I gave her credit for. Instead of going into shock when Ryan waved at me again to come over, she actually gave me a look three times more evil than the glare Becky was burning into me.

That's when I turned my attention back to my lunch. Or at least I turned my eyes away. I couldn't really tune them out completely, and even if I could, it was kind of hard to ignore Paige's next comment.

"You can't possibly want to hook up with that slut?"

I found it ironic that Paige was calling me the promiscuous one, when everyone knew she'd been with pretty much the entire football team at one point or another. I didn't have time to get mad, though, because just as soon as the word escaped her lips Ryan defended me. "Jamie's not a slut. It was just one kiss, and she only did it because I asked her to."

"Was mounting you in front of the whole school part of the plan?" Paige asked. "The freak practically ripped your clothes off!"

Okay, I knew that was going to haunt me. And when Paul Warren said, "I'd let her mount me any day," making all jocks present laugh and high-five one another, I cringed inwardly. I didn't really care if every girl in the school thought I was easy, but the last thing I needed was more guys trying to hook up with me.

Again, though, I didn't have any time to worry about it, thanks to Ryan. "Hey, that wasn't really her fault," he said. "She didn't know how irresistible I was when she agreed to kiss me."

I couldn't believe he'd said that, but I think he only did it to bug Paige because he smirked at her and said, "Besides, if one little kiss makes her a slut, I'd hate to know what that makes you."

I guess I wasn't the only one who thought the pot was calling the kettle black. Ryan's comment shut Paige right up, and I'd have kissed him again for that one had I been standing there, but Becky and Tamika didn't appreciate it the way I did. They pulled Paige to her feet and called Ryan a not-so-nice name before making a very dramatic exit from the cafeteria.

When I finally glanced over at Ryan, my heart just about stopped because he was staring right at me. He was confused but intrigued, and I realized that I was laughing along with Ryan's dumb jock buddies. He'd just caught me following a conversation I technically shouldn't have been able to hear.

I instantly wiped the smile from my face and went back to eating my lunch, cursing myself for being such an idiot. I was so upset that I didn't notice when Ryan got up and made his way across the cafeteria to me. I actually wasn't pulled from my panic attack until his voice was right behind me.

"Jamie, if you heard that back there, I'm really sorry. Why don't you come over and eat lunch with me? I'll introduce you to everybody and give them a chance to redeem themselves. The guys are all just as curious about you as I am, you know."

He didn't seem to wonder how I heard him, he just felt bad that I did, so I started to calm down a little. "Of course they're curious. They all think they can get into my pants now." The look on Ryan's face made me feel bad for saying that, so I added, "I really don't care if everyone thinks I'm a slut."

"Well, I do. I asked you to kiss me. It's my fault Paige said that about you, and I don't want the whole school thinking it."

That surprised me, and it was kind of sweet, so I couldn't stop my face from softening a little, no matter how much I wanted to stay mad.

Oddly enough, the cocky smile Ryan gave me when he realized that he was getting to me made it a lot easier to keep focused when he tried to get charming on me again. He was standing there with this cute little hopeful pout and said, "Whether you're upset or not, I feel bad, so how can I make it up to you?"

"You really want to make it up to me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then stop talking to me before other people start to think it's okay. Please. I don't want to have to get mean."

I grabbed my things and walked out the door before he could argue with me. I didn't even wait to see him frown. I couldn't—I was too weak around him.

I didn't want to have to live up to my reputation this time because shockingly enough, Ryan actually seemed to be a pretty decent guy. He shouldn't really have to be punished for wanting to get to know me. And to be honest, had our kiss been a normal one, I might have considered letting him talk to me occasionally.

But the fact that he was charming and I was mildly attracted to him only made us a hopeless case. We couldn't have a relationship, and I couldn't have him asking why that was, so I didn't see how any kind of friendship was going to work.

Ryan didn't speak to me the rest of the week. We made eye contact quite a bit, but I'm not sure if I caught him looking at me, or if maybe it was the other way around this time. Either way, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to show up at my house, and I was surprised that I felt almost as much disappointment about that as I did relief. I think that's why, come the day of homecoming, I decided to go to my first school sporting event since I moved here.

I didn't actually go to the game. I watched from a hilltop just about a mile away, but that may as well be a seat on the sidelines for me. I don't have eyesight quite like Superman because I can't see through things, but it's definitely more than your average twenty-twenty vision. I think of it as having built-in binoculars with super zoom control. Even at a mile away I could see the cute little excited smile Ryan got on his face every time he threw a good pass.

Our team won the game, and even though I was happy for Ryan, it proved to be just as unexciting for me as I thought it would be. Pretty much the only good thing I got from going was hearing an interesting conversation between Becky, Ryan, and Mike. I was about to go home when Becky asked Ryan about the dance, and I couldn't help but listen.

"Are you riding in the limo with us tonight?" she asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Ryan replied.

"Who are you going with, anyway?"

"I'm actually dateless tonight."

"You're going stag? Why?"

"Well, I knew how much Mike wanted to go with you, so I took one for the team."

The flirty little "Aw" he got from Becky made me want to puke, but it was worth it to see the look on her face when Mike said, "Plus, he wanted to take Jamie, but she turned him down."

I couldn't tell if Becky looked disgusted or insulted, but she didn't try to hide her horror as she gasped, "You asked Jamie Baker to homecoming?"

I waited for Ryan to deny it or defend himself with some BS excuse about feeling bad for me or something, but he didn't. He just smiled as he slumped his shoulders in a guilty shrug and said, "Twice actually. But don't worry, she told me to get lost."

"Yeah, rejected him like he was a fat guy in a Speedo," Mike added, laughing hysterically as he elbowed Ryan.

Becky was far too concerned for her friend to share Mike's laughter. "You're