5/28/22
They want the straw
but so do I.
I watch them as they reach for it
and wonder why I stay behind
in the face of this straw that I've worked seemingly so hard to reach.
I want the straw
but so do they.
Their drive is no greater than mine
but what ends this race for me
is my tortoise mindset
in the face of hares.
And yet,
I want the straw
but so don't I.
This mindset was formed
not from overconfidence
but from fear.
This fear chains me.
A fear of the hares winning the next race
and stealing my thunder,
but no fear of losing to the hares right now.
This final straw,
that trophy of overcoming my fears,
is what I fear beyond all else,
whilst my mind anxiously pretends
that this isn't
the final straw.
I reached for that straw
but so did they.
It was split in two.
Was my half bigger?
I no longer knew if I wanted to know.
The beast I had became, just to grab it,
bled out my brain in all too short of a time.
The value of that straw dwelled on me,
it's value bleeding with me
with every passing second,
while my brain tried desperately
to patch that wound.
I want to love that straw
but already did they.
