in love with a psycho

cold bathroom floor

I was just left there. on the cold bathroom floor . hopeless. J had stormed off somewhere random, most likely in his office. I'm so sick of this, i never chose to be here. thinking about it now i'm here against my will.

i don't deserve to be treated like this, i don't give a shit what J has to say but i am a GROWN ass woman woman and i don't need permission to do ANYTHING. for that exact reason and to prove a point i am going to treat myself to a mcdonald's at 11 pm.

I wipe my eyes and clean myself up a bit then i go up to mine and J's bedroom praying to god that he isn't in there. he's not. i put on some black leggings and a red oversized jumper, for shoes my white oreo jordan 4s.

I need a game plan because no way on hell am i walking a 30 minute walk for some nuggets. even tho they worth it i am not walking far. Every single night there is always atleast one sleeping guard, i will have to find one and steal his car keys.

Walking down the stairs as quietly as possible, trying to not alert anybody that i've got shoes on. I sneak past J's office door and i soon find one of the shorter (but buff) goons to be asleep leaning against the wall. i reach my hand in the trouser pocket closest to me but find nothing, then i reached in the one closest to the wall. it was really hard trying to reach it and if somebody walked in i would have ALOT of explaining to do. i finally fished out some porsche car keys and whispered "thanks mate" to the sleeping guard.

The garage wasn't too far away so i only walked through a few rooms and i was in it. i didn't know which car i had the keys too so i pressed the button and a small black porsche lit up. i excitedly ran up to it and hopped in, i managed to find a $20 bill in the goons pocket so that was even more perfect. Before anybody could notice i was missing i slid out like a mouse into the cold calm night.

About 10 minutes into the car ride i realised how quiet it was, no music, no screaming people and certainly no J tantrums. it was kinda nice. I was following my sat nav and i noticed that it was taking me to the middle of no where, my mcdonalds better not be cold i'm telling you that.

I finally reached it and it was dead, i chose the drive through and i ordered myself a strawberry milkshake and a 6 chicken nugget meal. the worker who took my order seemed off but maybe it's just one of those towns yano.

Once i got my food i parked in the parking area and locked the car. my food was really hot, so it was fresh mmmmm it was sooo nice, they messed up my milkshake and gave me a large instead of a medium but i'm not complaining. I miss the little toys you get in the happy meal boxes, they only do books now so it's boring as hell.

I had finished everything but my milkshake, in that moment i realised how hungry i was, i mean i'm not surprised i hadn't eaten all day. This whole baby thing is completely new to me, i am genuinely really scared. And i know i was clearly wrong about how J would react but i mean he is the JOKER, how am i supposed to know if he will be able to be a good father. He can't just have random outbursts or just kill random people in the house if there is a child here. He has to be present in their life and i don't think he is ready to do that, I've always been terrified of birth as well. Anything could go wrong, i could die, the baby could die or the baby could have an illness or a deformity, the possibilities are endless and that is so so so scary. He underestimates that. I don't think i would ever get an abortion though, i just can't bring myself too eve if it would threaten my life, it's not like i'm going to amount to anything anyway so i would die for my baby. I just don't know if i'm ready to be a mother yet.

I decide to go for a walk around the small town, all the shops are closed but i feel like it will be peaceful at almost midnight. I don't forget to take the keys out of the car and i bring my milkshake aswell just incase i want a drink.

It's pitch black, kind of creepy actually, i don't even know why i'm doing this. If i die tonight just to prove a point to J then that would just prove myself wrong that i don't need him.

*PING*

the text notification sound scared the living shit out of me. it was J..

🃏: Why are you in mcdonald's. Come home now Isabelle.

I leave him on read, this is my time i don't need him.

🃏: Don't fucking ignore me. that's it i'm coming to get you. prepare yourself doll, i won't go easy on you when we get home.

Shit.

Belle: don't come to me. i'm not coming back just yet, i will come back IF i want too. you cannot force me to do anything.

🃏: HAHAHAHAHAHA you are delusional. see you soon dollface.

What a dickhead. For fucks sake. I'm walking past all the closed shops when i come across the only lit up place in the whole town. A bar. There is a gang of men outside of it in a group, i start to walk fast not wanting it to go where i think it's going to go. One of them walks up the me and puts his large arm around my shoulder, his B O filling my nostrils. "How are you tonight darlin" His breath smelt like he hadn't brushed his tongue in decades, with little tinges of beer. his hand moved onto my bum as i tried to pull away from him but he was too strong. "leave me alone" i said not making eye contact and attempting to pull away again.

A second big man crept up behind us and he placed his arm around my waist trapping me between the two men. "what do we have here mmm arent you a sort" he spoke his breath smelling even worse than the other. His hand went up my hoodie and brushed across my skin, pushing his scratchy long brown beard on my cheek he whispered "well isn't your skin soooo soft, i could get used to that baby" I threw my strawberry milkshake in his face and he shook me furiously, his grip felt like 1000 needles poking into my skin.

I started to cry as i knew what would come next, all i could think about was J. please come get me please come get me! I struggled to get out of their grip, their hands clearly leaving bruises on my waist and arms. Suddenly a purple Lamborghini pulls up out of nowhere, headlights blinding and dust flying everywhere from the sudden friction.

J opens the car door aggressively, with rage filling his eyes at what he is seeing. these. men. are. dead.

He walks up towards us laughing his infamous laugh. "oh doll you silly silly girl" He reaches us and immediately punches the milkshake guy causing him to back away and loose his balance. He then grabs my arm and drags me away from the other shell shocked thug and put me behind him. J gets his gun out from his pocket swiftly and shoots the second guy right between his eyes, then going on to shoot the other in the dick. "don't fucking play with my things" he mutters.

J grabs my arm and pulls me towards his car, he swings the passenger door open and shoves me inside slamming it shut.

He gets in himself and then sighs. deeply.

His eyes turn to me and his eyes are filled with rage and confusion. fuckkkkk.