ALYSSA
What happened last night is an eye-opener for me. Before, I'm just confused and in denial. That's why I kept on saying that I'm straight, but now I'm sure that I am not. I'm having a crush on a girl, I have a crush on Sam. It's too early to say that I'm inlove with her already, but I know that I have feelings for her.
Not going to deny that a lot of girls are confessing to me, ended up being busted including Den, my friend. I love her, but as a friend only. She confessed to me but I told her that I don't want to ruin our friendship because at that time I'm still confused and said that I am straight, and will never fall for a girl.
I admit that there are times that I am attracted by the beauty, kindness, & mindset of a girl, but that's only it. Not to the point that I'll have a crush on them, I just admire them by their traits, that's it. Those are different things.
About Den, after she confessed to me she flew to New York and continued her study there. I don't know if she graduated already, we lost our communication after what happened. I know she's hurt. I just thought that if I'll be honest with her, we will remain as friends, but I was wrong. It's better than lying though, I don't wanna give her false hope. Am I that numb not to notice that she's falling for me? If I just know maybe I told it to her earlier, so that she will not be too attached with me. It would be a different pain for sure, not that painful. Maybe she's still her, but she's not.
Not gonna lie, I missed her. I want to see her again and say sorry to her. I know she'll understand now, maybe she'd move on already, I hope so.
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I can still remember what happened last night, didn't expect na mapapahimbing yung tulog ko e usually kapag nakikitulog ako sa iba ay hindi talaga ako makatulog. Siguro ay I just felt comfortable, yakapin ba naman ako ng crush ko HAHAHA.
Napapalitan ko na pala yung tire ng car ko, at nakauwi na rin ako ng condo.
Wala akong magawa kaya nag-phone na lang ako, tas naalala ko na naman si Sam. Ganito ba talaga kapag may crush ka? Hindi siya mawala sa isipan mo.
Ayon na nga, hindi ako ma-socmed na tao, marami nagsasabi na maging active raw ako paminsan minsan for fans, yes po I have fans medyo sikat din ako sa field namin as athletes.
I decided to open my IG account, it's been awhile since I last opened my account. Oh, I have 112k followers na pala, tapos tadtad din ako ng message requests.
I searched Sam's account, she's really famous huh?! 2M followers, that's many. So ayon, I followed her and stalked her account. Yung IG feed niya is more on endorsements & photoshoots. Ang hot niya grabe, marami siguro siyang suitors. Swerte na lang ng matitipuhan niya, pero as of now I know na she's not interested pa na magka-lovelife.
After stalking her ay natulog na muna ako, hanggang sa panaginip ko ay siya pa rin. Sa panaginip ko I saw her sa tabing dagat, lumingon siya tapos tinignan niya ako at nginitian. Lumapit naman ako sa kaniya at tinabihan, maya maya pa ay maglalapit na ang aming mga mukha.
Ring...
Napabalikwas na lamang ako sa aking pagkakatulog ng tumunog ang aking phone. Si Coach Justin yung tumatawag.
Wrong timing naman oh, ganda ganda na ng panaginip ko e. Napakamot na lang ako sa ulo at walang choice kundi sagutin ang tawag.
"Yes coach?"
"How's training Ly? I'll be back tomorrow." He said.
"Everything is okay naman po, naasikaso ko na rin yung mga documents."
