Convalescence

XVI.

~ bestie vibes this chapter :)

It was amazing how, in such a short amount of time, everything in Lili's silly little life had changed and yet, everything was exactly the same as it had been a day ago.

The traffic lights still changed from green, to yellow, to red, and back again. The toaster still shot her perfectly toasted bread out with a ding, just as it did every morning. 

And yet, her whole life had basically been flipped upside down.

The night spent at Niall's house had forced their relationship to make a pretty drastic turnaround fairly quickly; sleeping together - literally and figuratively - as well as making their relationship official, were significant steps forward.

Steps Lili hadn't really taken with other people in the past, and the reality of it all was frightening. 

Learning to trust people was incredibly hard for her, so to do it so fully and so deeply with Niall was horrifying.

She wasn't lying when she admitted to Niall that no one had ever asked her to be their girlfriend before.

It was a rite of passage she'd never experienced, and for a long while, believed she never would experience it. It just seemed so out of reach. 

The fear of being judged for that statement made it hard to share. Even after he'd proven to her time and time again that he wouldn't judge her, Lili still had such a deep fear that every new thing she told him could potentially be the one little thing that would set him off.

But for him to accept her confession the way that he did said a lot about how he felt about her, and reminded her that he cared deeply for her.

Of course, she had dated in the past, but it was mostly casual. Nothing that ever made her want to move forward. Lili had never felt the spark that so many people promised her would eventually come. 

She had only ever been in one 'serious' relationship, but was honestly unsure if she could even consider it a relationship after everything that occurred. Or didn't occur, as previously mentioned.

Daniel clearly had less than zero desire to make it official or take things a bit more seriously. 

He received all the benefits of a relationship without the official title, meaning he was technically free to do whatever the hell he wanted.

Or whoever he wanted, in Lili's case.

She remembered all of those nights vividly. So vividly, in fact, that her chest sometimes hurt, almost like phantom limb pain.

When she was seeing Daniel in her first year of college, she thought she'd had it all.

He would be quite affectionate with her at home in private, making her feel like the only girl in existence. With Daniel, she thought she felt loved and appreciated.

But it was all on the surface.

He'd whisper lovely sweet nothings in her ear, then turn around and flirt with the most beautiful girls at the bar during guy's night out, compliment them or asking for their numbers. He'd sometimes offer to buy them drinks, too.

And he wouldn't even try and hide it, either, which was the worst part.

He'd talk to his friends on the phone right in front of her and brag about the latest girl he'd pursued at the bar or the club the night before.