Harry Potter Short Stories

12 Days of Pranking

By: regenengel13

It was barely a day into the first term and Harry Potter had come to know several facts.

Dolores Jane Umbrage was a self-serving suck up.

Dolores Jane Umbrage was a control freak.

Dolores Jane Umbrage was racist in the worst way.

Dolores Jane Umbrage should have been a Death Eater.

Dolores Jane Umbrage was a rubbish teacher

It was time to make his father proud, his mother groan, and Sirius cry tears of joy.

Dolores Jane Umbrage was going to wish she had never gone back to school.

As soon as the list was done, a grin spread over the face of Harry James Potter. A terrifying grin. A grin so horribly twisted and sadistically joyful even the Weasley twins were scared. In a voice that made even a ghost shiver Harry James Potter; Son of Prongs, Vanquisher of the Dark Lord, Savior of the Wizarding World, The-Boy-Who-Lived; said, "Hey, oh, a-pranking I shall go." All of Gryffindor shivered, then asked who would be the unlucky target. As soon as Harry had revealed his prey, they asked what they could do. Harry's grin seemed even more predatory. "You'll know," he paused and cackled madly, "oh, you will know."

Dolores Jane Umbrage, Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic and High Inquisitor at Hogwarts, could tell that something was wrong the moment she entered the Great Hall for breakfast. She couldn't say how she knew, but she knew. Perhaps it was the gleam in Harry-Blessed-Potter's eyes, or the predatory grin on his face. Maybe it was the extra tingle of magic in the air, or the looks of terrified awe the Weasley twins; notorious pranksters whose respect was gained through questionable acts, were giving The-Boy-Who-Lied. However, her knowledge did not save her. As soon as she took her first swig of pumpkin juice, she sang, "On the First Day of Pranking my Foe gave to Me... the promise a very, very dead career!" Everyone looked at her in shock while she looked at the goblet before her in horror. What was that?! Harry-Blessed-Potter was grinning and The Twins spoke in unison.

"Sounds like someone has issued a declaration of war, Professor," they said before turning to her with grave expressions.

"Our condolences," one of the gingers said.

"Such a prank is..." the other said.

"A promise that..." the first one stated.

"Your career is going to be killed..." the second added.

"As ruthlessly."

"Efficiently."

"Thoroughly."

"Publicly."

"And as humiliatingly as wizardly possibly," they finished together. By now, Dolores was scared out of her mind. She didn't know the half of it. For the whole day, whenever she passed a Gryffindor, she would hear them whisper,

"A very, very, dead career." She was on her toes all day and by the time dinner came, she was almost afraid to enter the Great Hall, but Minerva McGonagall dragged her in and sat her down.

"Really now Dolores, what could a student do that could possibly destroy your career?" she asked politely, but Dolores heard the savage joy in the Professor's voice. The old Scotswoman was amused by this whole spectacle! Refusing to give the older witch the satisfaction of a reaction, Dolores marched into the Great Hall and took her seat. When she drank her pumpkin juice, she feared she had made a mistake, but when nothing happened, she felt a wave of triumph. Triumph that was tarnished as soon as she laid eyes on Potter.