Wrong number - M.R, T.N, D.M

51

"I was just about to come find you."

I close the door behind me, watching him as he stands there, like he's been pacing, waiting.

"I figured," I say quietly, walking past him and sitting down on his bed.

He doesn't move straight away. Just stands there, watching me, like he's trying to decide something.

I look up at him. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong," I ask, "or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

He exhales, running a hand through his hair, turning away for a moment before pacing the room again.

I frown. "Mattheo, seriously?"

He doesn't answer.

"This isn't the first time we've had this conversation," I continue, my voice firmer now. "I'm supposed to be the person you talk to. And you can't even look at me?"

That makes him stop.

"You hurt me," I add, quieter this time. "You know that, right?"

He turns back to me then, and the look on his face, regret, plain and unguarded, takes the edge off my frustration.

"Dais..."

"Why can't you talk to me?" I press. "Am I the problem? Because if I am, then you need to tell me."

He shakes his head immediately and walks over, sitting down beside me.

"You're not the problem," he says. "You're... the opposite of that."

I wait.

"You're my first," he says after a moment.

I nod slowly. I already knew that, but the way he says it now, it feels like there's more to it.

"And I don't just mean... this," he adds, gesturing vaguely between us. "You're the first girl who's ever actually been in my life. Properly. I didn't have a mum. I didn't have a sister. Girls were just..." He hesitates. "Something else. Before you."

I don't interrupt. I just listen.

"Theo and Draco... they were everything when we were younger," he continues. "They still are. They're my family." His voice softens. "You're part of that now too, Dais. You're... you're my family."

Something in my chest tightens at that.

"You're also the first person I've ever loved," he admits, quieter now. "And that," he lets out a small, breathless laugh ",...that terrifies me."

I shift slightly, turning towards him fully.

"I never thought I'd want this," he goes on. "A future. A life with someone. I was fine being on my own. Thought I'd end up that way." He shakes his head. "But then you came along, and now... I want all of it. With you."

His hands fidget together.

"But I don't know how to do it," he says. "I don't know how to be... that person for you. And I'm scared I'll get it wrong. That I'll mess it up."

There it is.

Not anger. Not distance.

Fear.

"I'm scared things will change after Hogwarts," he continues. "That you'll see me for who I really am and decide I'm not enough. That all of this," he gestures between us again "won't last."

I look down for a moment, taking it in.

Then I reach for his hand.

"My dad wasn't exactly a model of what a family should be either," I say quietly. "So I'm not standing here as some expert on love or how it's supposed to work."