from Time to Time | Lucius Malfoy

Now's not the time...

1991, August

"Good morning, darling..." - my fiancé's deep baritone voice snapped me out of my daydream on the first day of this summer's holiday after a more than nerve-wracking school year. The ups and downs of being a teacher had just gotten to me. I loved my students, Hogwarts was my family, but the last days before end of term were definitely the hardest, every day you wish it would finally be over and you can just go home. We didn't make any big plans for this summer, I just wanted to sleep in and recharge my batteries. Unfortunately, my inner restlessness threw a spanner in the works.

I had been awake for hours, but I still didn't want to get out of bed. "Good morning, Severus..." I replied with a weak smile on my face. Today was the day, he wanted to introduce me to his friends. Severus doesn't have many friends, in fact he has only one friend. And that friend is married. Lucius Malfoy is his infamous friend, Narcissa his wife. Severus and Lucius have known each other since their own school days at Hogwarts, my lover kept telling me about the brave Lucius who more than once saved him from his mean classmates and gave the boys a lesson afterwards, mainly with his fists. As a thank you, Severus always diligently supported him with potions when they were needed. Lucius must have been particularly grateful to him for a potion that after years of being married without having a heir finally helped his wife to have a child. A give-and-take friendship, so to speak, that lasts for years now. As a future misses Snape, I am fortunate to be able to meet my fiancé's friends. Two months before our wedding is more than appropriate, at least that's what Severus keeps telling me.

However, I have to defend him at this point, he often wanted to take me to the so-called Malfoy manor, I would get along brilliantly with Narcissa and Lucius is privately very different from what I might know from hearsay. My fiancé's only friend has a reputation that precedes him. He should be conceited. And cocky. Also very strict with himself and those around him, judgemental, proud and manipulative. All very bad characteristics which a child is not born with, but must be brought up by a certain not so loving parental home. Oh Severus, if you only knew...

Over and over I made up excuses just to avoid going to the manor, which I knew only too well. I knew every room in this house, every hiding place and every secret door, every corner of the garden... Severus, of course, knew nothing about it. In fact, nobody actually knew anything about it. It was my biggest secret and I had no intention of digging around in the past again...

Drowsily I got out of the far too comfortable bed, grabbed my dress and underwear and stumbled into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I untied the long blond hair from the braid and then styled it carefully. A beautiful colour, almost white. They provided a complete contrast to my fiancé's black hair. My emerald green eyes looked tiredly at my reflection. I briefly considered whether the dress I had chosen was also suitable for the occasion. It was dark green and about knee length, I preferred long dresses but didn't want to look older than I actually was. Should I choose something fancier? Merlin, am I really worried about what to wear to meet my future husband's friends right now? They probably won't care what I wear anyway. It shouldn't be too extravagant. Or is should it? It might distract... distract from me.

Lost in thought, I continued to comb my hair, watching myself. The woman in the mirror was somehow a stranger to me. She didn't look as happy as usual, today her world was turned upside down. All the other days she was happy because she did have a great job and a fantastic relationship. But today was different, a feeling of uneasiness spread in her stomach...

A year ago I accepted my assistantship at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry and of course I almost immediately fell in love with my instructor. I never thought that Severus Snape, the dungeon bat, the always cranky potions master, would even be capable of anything like love. But he taught me otherwise, because after just a few months we were a couple, my crush magically turned into sincere love and I felt like I had found my soul mate. Severus was no different, courting my favors daily, going well beyond his limits and finally on his knees, the proposal itself was beautiful.

The basis of every relationship should be unconditional trust. It's the same in our relationship. However, trusting someone unconditionally does not automatically mean telling them everything about their past. I myself do have some secrets that I haven't told my future husband yet. Unsure of what today might bring, I took heart. I dressed, did my hair, put on some makeup and stepped out of the bathroom.I took a deep breath. It's now or never. I hurried down the stairs and through the living room to the kitchen where Severus was having his tea. My heart almost skipped a beat as I thought about what was to follow.

It doesn't help, I had to tell him... The situation later in the Manor could escalate if he misinterprets anything. What if he gets disappointed? I'm going to tell him, it's now or never... "Severus? Please sit down, we have to talk..." - "Cait, please eat something and then get ready, we have to leave in less than an hour, now is not the time for talking!", I got as a snappy reply.I sighed. An hour would not be enough the slightest to tell everything that definitely had to be said. I would have to proceed cautiously and only divulge the most important information for the time being, just enough for Severus to trust me, understand me and, most importantly, have my back.

"Sev, honey... it's important. Please listen to me.", with pleading eyes I made the tall black-haired man listen to me. To tell my story...