from Time to Time | Lucius Malfoy

Ready? - Ready!

"The man just loves women but he's very afraid of being left. How would you feel if a mother had let you down twice? Well, one died. It wasn't Lucille's fault when she suddenly fell down the stairs and broke her neck. Abraxas had absolutely nothing to do with it either, he just stood at the top of the stairs and watched. And Lucius, the little boy, what could he have done other from below than watch?"

"Wait a minute, are you about to tell me that Abraxas got Lucius' mother k-" I started, but Severus waved me off. "What makes you think that? A pureblood like him? No, it was an accident..." Sarcasm was Severus' greatest passion. The rolling of the eyes underscored the statement. I was like in a trance. My baby saw this hideous man just push his birth mother off the stairs?

"But the other one ran away. That's almost worse, isn't it? Cait, that does something to a child! You're certainly not solely to blame for his fucked up mind, we can give the lion's share to Abraxas. He's never been a good father and after your ...departure... the subject was probably hushed up. When little Lucius cried or whined he got to feel the cane or the belt." Severus said slowly.

I was done. What did that horrible human do to my little Lu? I knew he wouldn't take my absence right away, but I figured over time... he'd forget me somehow. The boy was just too sensitive for this beast of a father.

"Are you angry at me?" I looked at Severus with wide eyes. "Me? Angry at you? No, Cait. I'm not angry at you. Never. But I can't speak for others. What you did was not only unethical, it wasn't entirely legal at all... you know that time travel for private pleasure is illegal? You were very lucky. That being said, someone has to miss that time-turner? What if that someone is looking for it now? What if someone tracks you down? I'm very worried about you, dear!"

He was right. I've had this idea before, but I've owned this necklace for almost 10 years and I've never felt persecuted. At no time was I asked about anything that seemed strange to me... No, I never felt like I was being watched. The time-turner changed its owner and the previous one probably didn't even know what it was or was just glad to get rid of it.

"I've had it for almost 10 years. If they wanted to send me to Azkaban I probably would have gone there by now. Don't think about it too much, it's all good. Nobody wants this thing back, it basically just causes trouble." Yes it did cause a lot of trouble.

Severus nodded.

I knew that the topic was not off the table yet. I knew he would insist on giving the time-turner to someone who would keep it safe. And rightly so.

I looked at Severus. "I'm scared. What if Lucius recognizes me? What if he hates me for leaving him?" I spoke. He smiled. What's  that now? Has he gone mad? "Cait, it's been 30 years for him! Think about it! He probably can't remember everything but of course he's still plagued by memories of his beloved mummy... You taught him how to fly on a broomstick, gave him his first real toy-" - "He told you all that?" I interrupted him, my mouth dropped open and slowly twisted into a grin.

"He used to tell me a lot of things. Boys do talk, guess what... I listened to that story over and over again. It was particularly bad during holiday season... The others in the dorm went home at Christmas, only a few Slytherins stayed in the castle. Me because I couldn't go home since I had no home and Lucius because he didn't want to go home because his home sucked. He told the others that he found Christmas childish and boring when in fact he loved Christmas. He probably had the best Christmas with you, Cait. His biological mother died just before Christmas. Abraxas erased the memories of Christmas from Lucius' mind, the first and only real Christmas he had experienced was with you. But he certainly doesn't remember the face of the person. Come on now, we really have to go!"

He got up and gave me his hand. Again, I was slightly in trance. My thoughts woven into a haze, preventing me from making a decision. Did I want to get up and leave? Did I want to go back to Wiltshire? Did I want to see Lucius again, maybe open up old wounds?

Finally, I silently took Severus' hand. Hopefully he would be right and Lucius couldn't remember the face of the traitor who just deserted him 30 years ago.

"Ready?" he asked me once I had linked my arm with him. "Ready," I replied. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and held it.

Lucius maybe wouldn't recognize me at all, maybe all my worries were unfounded. It would probably be a nice day, just drinking tea with friends and eating cake. We'd probably have some nice chatter, talk about the upcoming wedding, laugh at bad jokes and watch Draco fly his broomstick. Presumably the boy would resemble his mother. Presumably Narcissa would seek my friendship. I would probably finally have a maid of honor and not have to ask Minerva for a last minute favor. Everything would probably be fine.

Severus apparated us in front of the iron gates of the huge estate, just outside the property line. I opened my eyes and stared at the manor.

It was exactly as I remembered. I was last here one year ago. 30 years ago...