back by my side - byler

four

mike

"yeah, oh." yeah, will, oh. why would he lie to me about it? the whole speech was probably a lie too. what else has he lied about? what even was that whole speech? i need to know.

-twenty minutes earlier-

will has been gone for a while now, it's getting dark. el has just got home, "where's will?" she asks, i don't know how to answer. i called my mom and asked her if will stopped by and she said he didn't, i have no idea where he is.

"he went out for a walk, he'll be back in a bit, how's lucas? and max?" she smiles at the mention of max.

"lucas is fine, he was talking to max a lot and erica was also there, she's nice. max isn't any better but she's also not any worse and lucas said that is a good thing."

we talk for a little while longer about max when remember i wanted to ask el something. "el, when did you realise i didn't love you like that?"

"i think i knew for a long time but i definitely knew in the pizza dough freezer, i heard you but i also heard will. i heard- what he said, mike. he had to tell you to keep going and told you you were the heart, i don't know what that meant but i could tell that if he wasn't there and didn't tell you to keep going, you wouldn't have said you loved me." oh.

"el, i'm sorry, i really am i just," i wasn't sure where i was going with this, "i guess i needed will there with me, he helped me. the whole thing with the heart was because of the painting, the one of the party you commissioned," she starts looking a little confused but i keep going "and i forgot to say thank you for that, will told me everything and-"

"what painting?" she must have forgot.

"the painting, you know the one of the party that you asked will to paint, he's really talented, it's an amazing painting, thank you for asking him to make it," i say trying to make her remember as she furrows her brows.

"mike, i didn't ask will to paint anything. i even told you in the last letter i sent you, he wouldn't show me what he was working on, i assumed it was for a girl because i thought there was definitely someone he liked but i guess it was for you." will lied to me? i'm happy the painting wasn't for a girl, it hurt when i read it was for a girl in the letter i'm not sure why. but more importantly, why would he lie?

"but, why would he lie to me?"

"i don't know mike, maybe he though lying to you would help me. ask him about it, don't be mad at him when you don't know everything." i need to find will and find out why he lied. did he think i'd be mad at him for making that amazing painting for me? or was it like el said, did he say it to help her?

i was thinking about telling el about the speech to see if she really felt that way or if it was another lie but i don't. i need to focus on one thing at a time. and besides, i can always ask will about it if i need to.

-now-

"why did you lie about it?" i ask before i can stop myself. "have you lied about anything else? huh?" i'm being too harsh but i need to know. will doesn't say anything. he doesn't move or even blink. "why did you lie?" i ask again, hoping he answers this time.

"i didn't lie about it, el, she- she told me to paint it," he defends.

"oh yeah? because she told me she had no idea about it, she even told me before i came to see you, before i even knew that you were painting something, she thought it was for a girl or someone you liked but it was for me," his eyes dart around the room, he's avoiding my gaze.

"well then maybe she's lying, have you thought about that? she's been lying to you since we moved, how can you trust her?" he's getting more defensive than i've seen him in a long time. how can i trust her? she didn't know what i was talking about. it's not like she got all defensive like will is right now.