mark on my heart | Mark Sloan

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§eason 7

Mark watches Bonnie as she sleeps. He's too scared to sleep himself because he knows she'll wake up from a nightmare and he'll feel bad for sleeping so soundly. The whole ordeal of Gary Clark has scratched away at memories of Bonnie's shooting that she didn't even know she had and in the three weeks since the incident she's been struggling with PTSD.

He sits up slowly as his phone vibrates and he answers. "Hey."

"Hey... I didn't wake you, did I?" Poppy asks quietly.

Mark chuckles quietly. "No, wide awake. You too?"

"Yeah... Jay had a bad dream. He's only had a few so I guess I can't complain. How's Bon?" She asks gently.

"She's actually sleeping. Probably got a good 3 or 4 hours so far." He glances at the time. "You ready for today?"

"I am, yeah. Bonnie isn't. Jamie and Katie definitely aren't." She sighs. "I keep telling them the hospital isn't going to get shot up again but we didn't think it could happen once so our faith isn't so strong right now."

"We can reschedule again-"

"No." Poppy snaps firmly as she scowls. "I'm not getting into this habit or rescheduling my life. I did that with cancer. I need to get this done and then I can be me again and I can kick Bonnie back into shape."

"Has she ever been like this before?" He looks over at her as she sleeps, appearing peaceful.

Poppy takes a deep breath. "After Dac, yeah...." She pauses. "I had her on suicide watch for a good few weeks. I didn't sleep coz she didn't sleep. She would wake screaming and crying. Or she'd be asleep and still burst into tears. She couldn't go near a hospital. Terrified me when she upped and moved 2 months after he died to get a job in one."

"Do we let her handle this and support her? Or-Or make her get help?" He chews his cheek.

"We see how it all goes." She sighs

Mark smiles small. "Okay... okay. I'll see you at 8am. On the dot."

"You got it boss."

He sets his phone down and carefully lays back down. Just as he does, Bonnie shoots into a sitting position gasping in a breath, suddenly soaked in sweat, heart racing, gasping for breath. He quickly sits up. "Hey hey hey it wasn't real-c

"I'm fine!" She snaps, rushing to the bathroom where she slams the door.

Mark exhales slowly and sinks back down into the covers, nervously playing with them. Bonnie eventually comes out, dressed and ready for work. "Babe... you're not due back at work for-"

"There's no point me sitting home. Plus Poppy will need me." She mutters as she grabs her phone and rushes out.

Mark stares after her and then glances at the clock; 4:53 am. He sighs and gets up, getting dressed and ready too. He sees her car gone as he goes to the parking garage and he shakes his head. He doesn't like this feeling he has. Not one bit.

-

Poppy watches Bonnie as she expertly inserts her IV. "How are you-"

"Shut up." She snaps, taping the IV.

Poppy raises an eyebrow. "Bonnie..." she sighs.

Bon looks at her sister. "Just don't. I am just sick of being wrapped in cotton wool - this didn't just happen to me so stop acting like it does. If you wanna question someone's mental state, question your own for coming back to a hospital prone to disaster." She snaps and storms out.

Katie dodges her as she does. "Woah-"

"Shut up!" Bonnie snaps again.

Katie's eyebrows are high in confusion. "What did I do!"

Poppy shakes her head. "I wouldn't take it to heart, honestly. She's..." she sighs deeply. "Shes totally shutting off. This is how she was after Dacre died."

Mark caught the last sentence and stands frozen in the doorway. "What do I need to expect?" He asks slowly.

Poppy hesitates as she plays with the covers in her lap. "You... you have to prepare for the worst." She slowly begins and takes a shaky breath. "She'll stop eating. Speaking. She'll only go places for work, she won't leave the house otherwise. And she will push you away until you have no choice but to leave her be."

"I won't let that happen-"

Katie shakes her head. "You won't have a choice. I wasn't here when it all happened but I saw how she was after. The things she said? It was like something else possessed her."

"Words. Its all words." Mark shakes his head. "Words hurt sure but they're not a weapon."

-

Within a week, Mark is eating those words as he stares at their trashed apartment, Bonnie breathing heavy as she stands glaring. "What don't you get Mark!" She snaps, eyes full of fire. "I. Hate. You."

Mark looks over at her and he knows that somewhere deep down that this is true. She hates him. She's said it before, many a times over this rough period but somehow now he knows its true.

She continues to pick. "You are a whore. I don't even know why I cared what you did because you're not ever going to be good enough for me. You? You're toxic. Everything in my life was just fine until you came into it. Now? Now look at it!"

"Then... then go." Mark says finally, his heart in a thousand pieces. "I'm not going to stop you, not now."

Bonnie smirks coldly. "Good. I'm too good for you Mark Sloan. Everyone is too good for you."

-

Derek wakes slowly, more with it as the days go by. He's aware that about 2 weeks ago he was shot. He's aware he's lucky to be alive. Meredith hasn't left his side, neither has Mark. But one person's been missing.

"Where's Bonnie?" Derek asks Mark tiredly.

Mark, who was staring into space, flicks his eyes over to his friends face for a split second before looking away as he takes a deep breath. "Gone."

"G-gone?" Derek frowns, pushing himself to sit up more. "What do you mean?"

"She's gone. And I don't give a fuck where because she's away from me." Mark simply says. "I wouldn't waste your time on her."

Derek is confused. "Why are you- what if she's hurt." He snaps.

"If she's hurt?" Mark scoffs. "Then karma is a real thing." He snaps and storms out leaving Derek shocked and confused.