Embrace | Demi Lovato

4

Wilmer

I stared down at the glass of vodka in my hand. I didn't want to drink. I knew that Demi wouldn't want that, but it's been two months and I still haven't heard anything from her. I've barely been at work, the house is an absolute wreck, and my beard had grown messy and unkept along with my now mop of jet black hair on my head. She wasn't coming back, I'd come to terms with that. So, I tipped the glass to my mouth and let the contents go down my throat with the familiar burn comforting me. I had turned to alcohol last week. Everything in this God damned house reminds me of her, and the fact that she left me. I still call her everyday and leave voicemails pathetically begging her to come back to me, but she never answers, and she never does. I don't even know if she listens to them, but I can do is hope. I had failed as a boyfriend. I couldn't protect her, if I didn't know where she was, I couldn't protect her; from both the world outside and her own mind. She left me, and it's my fault. I did something that upset her, that had to be the answer. I'd gone through our last day, our last week, and month together, but nothing stood out except for the night before she left me. When I left the morning before she was smiling and kissed my cheek as I walked out the door, laughing freely when I goofed off around her. I don't know what I did, but I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

~*~

Demi

It's been two months. I'm about four months along, and I have my doctor's checkup to find out if it's a girl or a boy. It's going to be emotional no matter what because Wilmer isn't here to share this experience with me. I know that I can't ever go back there now. He'll hate me for taking away from him.

"Demi?" I looked up, smiling at the nurse shyly. She was familiar, the only one who prepped me for my ultrasound, because I didn't want to word getting out of be being here, especially now that I had a clear bump poking out between my hips.

The doctor walked into the room and smiled at me, "Hello Demi, how are you doing today?"

I shrugged, "Good, a little sore, but good."

She nodded, "I suggest you get a massage, it'll help." I nodded and lifted my shirt as she sat down. "So today's a big day!" She smiled, "Are you sure you don't want to call anyone?"

I bit my lip and shook my head, "No, it's just me."

She nodded with a sympathetic expression and rubbed the gel on my stomach with the wand, moving it around as she watched the screen. "You wanna know the sex right?"

I smiled and nodded, "Absolutely."

The doctor smiled, "Okay... it looks like..." She pretended to squint at the screen, "You're having..." I bit my lip in anticipation, "A girl!"

I clapped my hand over my mouth, smiling hugely, "Oh my God."

She chuckled and moved the wand around a bit more, "Well she looks perfectly healthy. I think she'll be fine."

I nodded, not able to stop smiling as she wiped off my stomach and tugged my shirt down, "Thank you." I said, still in shock.

"So now the real excitement kicks in." She said standing up, "I wanna see you again in a month, it's an important phase we're in. Then after that we wait until month sixish unless you feel something's off. Then, you're home free!"

I nodded, "That sounds great!"

~*~

I got home and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. A baby girl, who would never know her daddy. I began to cry, thinking of all of the moments both my daughter and her father would miss together. She would never fall asleep in his arms or on his chest. He wouldn't threaten to beat up boys when she grows up, or when she comes crying because a boy broke her heart. I had no right to take that away from her, but I had no right to burden him with it either. The only solution I could think of would be staying away, far away. I could never go back to the states. If I saw him I don't think I ever would be able to leave him. I spread my hands over my stomach and wiped at my eyes, I thought spending my last night with him would make me feel better about it, but I only craved him even more. There was a reason we kept getting back together after we broke up, we can't physically stay away from each other. I'm just craving his touch, not even in a sexual way, I just wanted him to hold me again and tell me that it's gonna be okay, and that we'll get through this. But I'm never gonna get that privilege again. I'll never feel him again, or even see him. I had to do what was best for both him and our daughter. No matter what that meant for me.

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-Rachel