Unspoken

Chapter 26

November 12, 1992

Marlena kept Eric and Sami in school so they didn't get behind. Evenings were busy, and loud, while Marlena and John's mornings and afternoons were spent with Alais, Ryan, and Brady. Alais was absolutely in love with the ranch. She'd adopted a mare named Peony as her own, and wanted to spend every hour of every day with her. Ryan seemed to be adapting quickly, but Alais still struggled at bedtime. She cried if Marlena tried to leave the room before she fell asleep, and she had frequent nightmares about Marlena leaving her. Marlena spent a lot of time with Alais as she led Peony around the paddock. They would talk, and process through Alais's fears. While Marlena had never specifically worked with children, her profession gave her enough insight into understanding her daughters fears, and where they came from.

During dinner, John mentioned Eric and Sami returning to Salem with them for their winter break. Sami had immediately gone quiet, while Eric had looked at John with sad eyes. He still hadn't told what he considered his sister's secret. As dinner progressed, Marlena attempted to change the subject. Carrie made jokes, Alais talked about a bug she'd found on the milkweed beside the barn, and Brady and Ryan conversed and babbled the way young children do. John watched as Sami seemed to turn more inward with every passing minute. It was concerning. She sat at the table picking at her food, barely eating anything.

As dinner came to an end, Marlena looked across at John, and without saying anything, he knew that she wanted to speak with Sami alone. He turned, saying to Eric, "Hey, why don't you come with me while I get Brady and Ryan diapered, and changed for bed?"

"Gross, dad. I don't want to do that!" the little boy said, completely oblivious to the real reason he needed to go with John.

"Well, I need some company, so come on," John said, lifting Brady into his arms.

Carrie stood up, saying, "I'll help you." She took the tray off of Ryan's high chair, and set it against a table leg. Unclipping the belt that held him, she lifted him into her arms. He grinned at her with spaghetti sauce on his face, and she laughed. Glancing at John, she said, "I think you're going to need it."

Marlena watched them leave the room. Sami slid a noodle around her plate with a fork, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. Finally, Marlena said softly, "Honey, please talk to me."

"I can't," she whispered, staring at her plate. The fork scraped across the glass making a shrill sound.

Marlena felt sick. Something was wrong, and she needed Sami to tell her what it was, because she had a myriad of horrible scenarios rolling through her mind. "Did you know that you can tell me anything?"

"Huh?" she asked, glancing up at Marlena.

"It's true. You can tell me anything." Marlena reached for Sami's chair, and pulled her closer. The legs scraped across the floor until Sami sat facing her mother. Marlena whispered, "John and I, we love you so very much, darling, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything. Anything at all, and I will keep you safe. No matter what. Do you know that?"

Her voice was soft as she said, "Yes..."

But Marlena heard the hesitation. "I think when I came home that was a very hard transition for you and Eric. Then when Roman came... and John moved out–"

" –I don't wanna talk about that," Sami said quickly.

"Sometimes, we have to talk about hard things so that we understand them. Right now, I can see that you're struggling with something, and I want to help you." She cupped Sami's face in her hands, whispering, "I need you to tell me what's going on Samantha. Please."

She looked up at her mother, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She was silent for so long, but Marlena waited. Whatever Sami was dealing with had to be processed on her terms. Finally, with a shuddering breath, she started to speak. "He said if I told you... I'd make you sad, and it—it would be my fault. I don't want it to be my fault. I don't want to make you sad. I don't want you to leave too, like daddy left us."