Unspoken

Chapter 23

November 6, 1992

Peter Blake had delivered Hope and her daughter Molly to Maison Blanche four days prior. Marlena and John had been fully expecting to see their children then; however, getting to Alais and Ryan was more difficult. San Cristobal had no marked airfield. When John and Marlena had flown there, they'd chartered a small plane, and the pilot landed on a wide dirt path under a full moon. Marlena had been devastated when she'd learned Peter didn't have the children with him. She felt like every additional day without them meant that Alais would forget her, and Ryan might never know her.

When Rolf took her into surgery that night, John scrubbed in to oversee everything. The last thing she remembered before closing her eyes, was his soft touch on her cheek, and his softly whispered words: I'll see you in a little while, Doc. Waking up had been harder. Her lost memories of those five years didn't return slowly. She woke, and she simply knew. She could see her daughter's bright blue eyes, and her golden brown curls. She could hear Alais's laugh, and she could feel her soft body in her arms. It was painful, because where once her daughter had been a notion, she suddenly became excruciatingly real. Marlena grieved Ryan. Those dreams of giving birth were no longer vague images. He was a baby torn from her arms at barely seven weeks old. She'd watched as a nanny named Paloma carried him away while guards stopped her from going after him. Ryan had looked so similar to Brady it made her heart ache with wanting him back. John was the one who sat beside her, and held her as she cried off and on for hours after she woke.

Two days later, John was prepped for surgery. Whether he remembered his past or not, he wanted the microchip removed from his body. For the second surgery, Marlena was the one who scrubbed in. Rolf would not touch John without her there watching every move he made. As the surgery progressed, she tried to stay focused on what Rolf was doing, even as her mind wandered. The stress of Isabella's death, and learning what Stefano had done to them was almost more than she could bear, but for John she stayed in the moment. When it was over, Rolf seemed pleased, but Marlena had seen how much scar tissue surrounded the microchip. Rolf had very likely been correct – John would never recall his past, but he would be free of Roman's memories. At least he had that.

After her surgery, Marlena had woken within hours. John did not. She sat by his side night and day for almost three days before his eyes opened. During that time she barely ate or slept. When she did sleep it was a restless slumber full of nightmares and dark images. Awake, her sole focus was John and Brady. At one point, Anna had forced her to shower and rest, but Marlena had only taken a few hours for herself. Thinking about Alais or Ryan broke her heart. All she wanted was to have her children with her.

John stared at Marlena, seeing the tears fill her eyes. "You're awake," she whispered. "How are you feeling? Are you thirsty?"

"I could use some water," he said roughly. "How long was I out?"

"Almost three days," she said. She poured a glass of water from a pitcher, and brought it to his bedside. Sitting beside him, she handed him the cup, and watched as he took a long drink. "I was so worried."

"The children?" he asked.

Marlena shook her head, whispering, "Not yet. But Tony expects them within a few hours... I was so worried you wouldn't be awake when they arrived." John stared at her for a long time, taking in every facet of her until she gave him a shy smile. "What?" she asked softly.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Doc..." Placing the cup on the small table beside the bed, he reached out to stroke her cheek gently. "I used to wonder if having Roman's memories might have somehow confused me... if maybe his feelings and emotions somehow mixed with mine and maybe I–I didn't love you on my own..."