Excuse me while I die

Butterflies in my tummy

How I reached home, I don't remember but I was relieved not finding anyone at home.
I felt so drained from the party last night and I needed some alone-time. I tried recalling what happened the previous night at his house but I couldn't remember a thing.
I took a cold shower and resumed my bed and my thoughts.

What distracted me was a notification that popped up on my phone:

"Hey Barbie, thanks for last night 😘. I enjoyed it."

Huh? Enjoyed? I knew this could only be Marx. How did he get my number? And what enjoyment was he talking about?

I replied,

Marx😏, thanks for housing me last night too. But what kinda enjoyment do you mean?

He took so long to reply. I was on tenterhooks for his reply. I was scared about what he could have meant by 'i enjoyed it'.
What if he f**d? Oh my goodness, no nothing of that sort I remember, I was still fully dressed. So many thoughts and suspicions haunted my mind. I decided not to let it bother me.

<<<A few minutes later>>>

"

Your company, I enjoyed it. You're the best.xx"

A wind of relief blew over me. Though he was a guy who could do anything to do get what he wanted, he didn't touch me. All he did was to take care of me that night. I began to see a new side of him; he was not  so bad although he had an aura that made him seem that way. He drunk, he smoked but that did not mean he was evil. And to those girls who complained that he was a playboy, maybe it was them who allowed themselves to be used, like Rissa and Maia. I was 17 and I didn't know any better about guys, but he was perfect, in an imperfect way.

<<Time skip>>

It was official, I was in my senior year. I saw another side of Marx, he was so generous, so kind, he helped other mates with their artwork and other stuff. He was in the B-ball team too, he was making use of his height. I almost melted when I saw him training shirtless on the court one-day after class. Kyle and Lisa speculated that I liked him but I knew he was with Leslie so why would I?

I talked and spent time with him as much as possible. I felt somewhat jealous anytime I spotted him with Leslie but they were just friends as I made clear to me.

I'd always be at the b Ball court, just to be there to watch him. A guy I'd dress up for hoping for him to notice. A guy responsible for the butterflies in my tummy. The same guy I disliked few years ago. I had absolutely no idea what was wrong with me.
I would discuss him with my friends everytime. Even when he was not the topic of discussion, I'd find a way to get him to be discussed.

Somewhere along the line, I had a soft spot for him and it scared me so much,(don't know what that is). But I think I had a crush on him. I didn't like that. He was acting way to nice to me and I didn't like that too. Or maybe I should smear his name and tell everyone he's a stalker. No...no, I couldn't.
I made it a decision to bare my soul to Vanita and Lima, to tell them how I felt since we were sharing secrets one day.

"Oh em gee". Lima exclaimed

" I don't trust that guy, have you told him yet?"
Nita asked

"No, never"
I replied

" Just play careful, he may be the opposite of what you see". Lima counseled me