Bless the Broken Road that Lead Me Straight to You

Chapter 27

"Tell me something," Erin's voice was quiet, as she whispered into the darkness of Jay's bedroom. They hadn't spoken in several minutes, but she could sense from his breathing that Jay was still awake.

Jay had been slowly drifting off to sleep, but he opened his eyes at the sound of her raspy words and his lips turned up into a soft smile. He allowed his eyes to slowly adjust to the darkness of the bedroom and he allowed his mind to wake before he answered. "I think tomorrow night the girls are going to have to go back to their own beds," he said, finally after several moments.

Erin turned until she was laying on her side, taking time to adjust to a comfortable position for her ribs. Her fingers found Grace, and she began trailing circles on her back. "Are the girls cramping your style?" She smirked at him, although she couldn't be sure he could see her expression through the darkness of the room.

He could see her perfectly. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the room, he could see the way the moonlight cascaded through the window and illuminated her beautiful face. He could see the dimples deep in her cheeks, and the way her eyes glowed, and he could see the possessive movements of her hand on his daughter's back. God, he was so in love with her.

"That, too", he replied, and he couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. "But really." He shifted back to his original reasoning. "When I was sleep training Maddie, I read that you're not supposed to let your child sleep with you." The book had been talking about babies, because he had began sleep training at nine months, but he figured it was probably still true. "I don't want to create a pattern or make it so they can't sleep on their own." In truth, he actually wasn't too concerned for Maddie, she could sleep anywhere. But he wasn't sure about Grace, and he wanted to treat both girls the same.

It was Saturday night, and the two girls had spent every night sleeping between him and Erin since the night Erin had come from the hospital. It had been almost a week, and while he enjoyed the family bonding immensely, he also decided it was time to shift back into their normal routine.

"I know you're right," Erin pouted. She wasn't ready to go back to real life, but Jay was right. She had weaned off the Percocet and now was sticking to 800 mg of Advil and her incentive spirometers were increasing as expected. Her bruises were beginning to fade, and the ones on her eyes were now almost imperceptible with makeup.

It was time.

Jay noticed Erin's face fall slightly as she spoke the words. He knew she would miss snuggling close with the girls, but he was surprised that she seemed so down about it.

She was still going to get to snuggle with him, after all. "Tell me something," he whispered, hoping she would reveal whatever was plaguing her.

She wasn't ready for real life, wasn't ready to leave the comfort of Jay's bed. She pressed her nose into Grace's hair and took in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. She allowed it to her strength. If nothing else, she needed to get back to real life and be strong for her daughters. "I've been going back and forth." She began, "But ever since Olivia came over yesterday, I've been thinking it's time I move out of Hank's."

And move in here? Jay held his breath, waiting for her to continue.

"I should probably go back to my apartment," she finished.

Jay's heart sunk at her words. That was not what he wanted her to say. "Okay," he whispered. He realized that it was the first Tell me something he had ever asked that he regretted. That he hated the answer to.

He did not want her to leave.

But at this point, Erin had one third of her things at Hank's, one third of her things at her apartment with Olivia, and one third of her things at Jay's. And even though she felt completely at home in all three, at this point she didn't feel like she had a home.