You Saved Me!

~*Chapter 41: Louis*~

I was walking up from the barn when I saw Harry sitting on the porch.

The last three months had been hell for both of us. Although his parents had disapproved, Harry had decided not to go back to Dublin for school this semester. Instead, he was taking a few online classes with Niall .

I had only talked to Briana once, and she begged for forgiveness. She had called a few more times, but each time, I'd ignored it. On more than one occasion, Harry had just about wanted to drive to Dublin just to kick her arse.

I heard the thunder rumbling in the distance, and I smiled, remembering how much Harry loved thunder-storms.

If only I could get that Harry back. . .

Last night, I'd called Niall , and I'd told him that I thought Harry could really use a trip into Dublin today. He agreed.

As I walked closer to ha, I could tell he'd been crying. Fook.

"Hey, baby, have you been up for very long?" I asked as I stepped up onto the porch.

He didn't even look up at me. He was growing more distant as the days went on. It had been three months since he'd lost the baby, and now, he wouldn't even let me touch him.

I sat down next to him while it started to rain. He put his head back on the swing and let out a sigh.

"Harry , we really need to talk, baby. I can't keep going on like nothing is wrong. You're drifting further and further away from me. I need you back. "

He lifted his head and glared at me. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you walked out on me. "

I felt like I was going to be sick. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm sorry, Harry . I'm sorry for making the biggest mistake of my life. If I could take it back, I would. You don't think I beat myself up every morning and every night? If I could go back and redo it, I would. I'd do anything to make you happy. "

He stood up and walked over to the railing. "I want to be alone for a while. "

"No. "

He spun around and stared at me. "What?"

"I said no, Harry. I'm tired of you pushing me away and not talking to me. I don't even remember the last time you let me hold you or just touch you. "

"I don't want to talk about it with you. "

"Bullshit. You won't talk to anyone about it, not even your mother, Karen, or even Niall. Everyone is so worried about you. This has to stop, Harry. We got the go ahead last month, baby, if you want to try for another baby.... "

"No! Just please stop talking. " Harry stepped off the porch into the rain.

"Where the hell are you going?" I said walking after him.

"I want to be alone, Louis . That means without you! Please just go back to the house. I'm going to the barn. "

I followed him toward the barn.

He turned and looked at me.

"You're such a fooking dickwad! Why can't you just leave me alone? I don't want to be near you, I don't want you to touch me, and I don't want you to make love to me. I don't want you. Holy hell, how many times do I have to say it?"

It was now pouring rain, and I was shaking from head to toe. I knew he didn't mean what he was saying; the counselor we had gone to had told me that this might happen. I'd kept doing what the counselor said. I'd given Harry the space and time he'd needed, but now, I was done with this bullshit. I wanted my man back. I wanted the life we were supposed to have-fook, the life we deserved to have- back.