"Austin, I can't, I- I don't want to impose."
"It's not imposing if I insist Juliana."
I shook my head from side to side, in disbelief at the ridiculous decision I was on the verge of making. But as insane as it was, I wanted to wrap myself up in th...
The words spewed from my mouth, a heavy weight somehow lifting from my shoulders as I admitted my monstrous yet secretive addiction to her.
It wasn't something I ever talked about, let alone so soon after meeting someone. But something in me was hopeful that Jules would understand. She was so kind and caring since the moment we'd met, and I had to pray that she wouldn't up and gather her things and go running for the hills after my sudden admission.
I ashed my cigarette, fumbling with my pack of Camels, desperate as all hell for another. I was afraid to even look at Juliana after I expressed to her one of my hardest battles. My heart pounded with each second of silence that passed as I anxiously puffed away. My head hung as I was ashamed of my deep dark confession, the one person in my life that I had quickly become close to sitting still before me as I waited with anticipation.
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"I don't know if this changes things between us and if it does, I'm so sorry. I really like you J and I didn't mean to drop this on you. I know it's too much-" I began to babble, suddenly unsure if I made the right decision to come clean about this.
I felt Juliana's small hand cover the back of my own after a moment of allowing my newfound information to sink in.
"You have nothing to apologize for. This doesn't change a thing, Austin. I don't think any differently of you, if that's what you're worried about." She said softly, cause me to raise my head to meet our one sided gaze.
"I want to support you with whatever you're going through. This can't be easy to talk about. And I'm really glad you feel comfortable enough to confide in me. We've been through alot together in a short time and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I will always listen." She comforted me with her kind words as she shifted closer to me.
"You have literally taken me into your home. You don't let me take a single step if you're not by my side to keep me safe. You have been there for me in a way that no one else ever has. And I'm going to do the same for you." She expressed sincerely.
"Thank you for saying that, Juliana. It- it means alot to me that you're so understanding. And thank you for not judging me. This is the first time I've said it out loud. I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem." I nervously chuckled, her sweet tranquil reaction proving time and time again that I could trust this woman.
"Austin, I would never judge you." She spoke softly. "When is the last time you had a drink?" She asked, her tone calm yet her eyes full of concern as she kept the grip between our two hands.
"Just two weeks ago." I shrugged, disappointment filling me as I shook my head at how pathetic I sounded.
"Two weeks? Austin that's a good thing, it's a wonderful accomplishment."
