Living through Lenses

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

I could hear distant murmuring as I tried to move. I couldn’t, I felt numb to the core. And then slowly, slowly, the pain started flowing in. It was my knees first; I could literally feel the bruising starting in the areas where I fell. Then the headache started to fuzz up my brain, it hurt so much that I could only manage a groan instead of a scream.

‘She’s awake!’ I heard someone yell and I cringed at how loud the voice was. I tried to sit up but I couldn’t find the strength in my arms. Instead I fell back down into the bed and let someone pick me up by the armpits and place me against the bed head.

‘How are you feeling?’ I didn’t know who was speaking.

‘Everything hurts but at the same time I feel numb.’ I managed to reply.

‘Alright.’ I opened one eye and saw Ethan sitting right in front of me while my parents were sitting on the other side of the bed. He handed me a cup of water and I took it thankfully, gulping down the whole thing at once. I immediately felt better, I felt cooler and my throat didn’t hurt as much.

‘Thanks.’ I saw a smile forming on Ethan’s face.

‘No problem.’

I lay there without moving for a long time and suddenly it hit me.

‘Wait, aren’t I meant to be a speaker tonight?’ My eyes widened.

‘Honey, I don’t think you’re in a condition to speak up there tonight.’ My mum replied.

‘No! How long do I have?’ I started getting up despite my headache.

‘We only have 20 minutes, you won’t make it.’ I felt weak and toppled but Ethan caught my arm and steadied me.

‘I have to go, it is the only chance I can do anything before the end of my life.’ I didn’t look at their reactions and I ran into the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror, I looked a little pale but no different from how I looked before the blackout. I put a little bit of darker foundation on and reapplied the rest of my makeup. I smoothed out my dress and applied some foundation on my bruises on my knees. I ran out of the bathroom and stepped into my heels. I was a bit wobbly but I really wanted to go to be a speaker. I saw that my parents and Ethan were all waiting for me at the door so I grabbed my purse and we ran for it.

We got there right when the show started. My parents and Ethan went to find their seats after Ethan gave me a good luck kiss. I smiled as Trish softly yelled at me for being late. I found myself confident as ever as I walked onto the stage to take my seat in the guest speaker’s section. There were two guest speakers before me but when I listened to their speeches, they were almost the same. They talked about how they loved photography and how they found their photos captivating, etc. I stood up and I knew that I wouldn’t bore the audience that they wouldn’t be forcing themselves to clap for me. I knew that there would not be a problem with my unprepared speech.

I took in a deep breath.

‘Tonight I am here without a speech and you must all think, oh dear she is so unprepared. But you are wrong, I have thought long and hard about tonight and I decided that speaking from the heart, directly to you is real.’ Trish nodded at me and I knew my photo had showed up on the screen behind me. ‘I am Kayla Frost and it was a while ago when I sent in this photo and described it but I can remember the sentence I used very well. I said that it represents me perfectly; I am dying amongst the living. I know it sounds cliché but I was not joking, I am not dying mentally but physically. Something no one ever thinks would happen to them, happened to me and it destroyed me. Completely.’ There was silence as I found Ethan’s eyes, they were comforting. It was as if I was speaking to him only. ‘About half a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer and the doctor told me that I only had a year left to live. The month after I found out about this was horrible, I cut myself off from my friends and all I did was stay home and sulk. And it was just another day when my mum told me to get some air but I think it was almost fate that brought me to a camera store, fate that let the owner give me this camera for free and fate that I found the perfect place to take photos. I know, how cliché right?’ I heard the audience laugh. ‘But I met someone who helped me along and really brought me here even though he may not know it.’ I paused and smiled at Ethan. ‘I am here tonight with honour and hope that you people may find interest in the works of a dying teenager. The last works of my life.’

I nodded my head and suddenly applause echoed through the area. And it felt like genuine applause. I held my head high and then bowed. I took my seat and waited for Nate to get up and say his speech but when I turned to him he was looking at me with shock and almost sadness. I looked at him questioningly but when he realised I was looking at him he put on his poker face and stood up. He leaned into the microphone and started.

‘Well I don’t know what I can say after that, honestly.’ I smiled and stared into Ethan’s eyes. There was something there, something sad yet unsure.  

After the whole night I had gotten twelve business cards with emails added and names, from people telling me to call them so I could maybe start a line, publish some photos and maybe even make some big money. It’s the least I could do for my parents. When we got back to the hotel I was tired, like hell. My parents said goodnight and after a while I waited for Ethan on my balcony. The wind blew my hair off my face and I felt a shiver down my back. Ethan came out of his room and jumped onto my balcony.

‘Hey.’ I smiled at the usual greeting that had become a habit. 

‘Hey.’ He whispered back. ‘You cold?’

‘Yeah lets go inside.’

I locked the balcony door and looked at Ethan.

‘You know, after your speech tonight, I don’t know.’ I frowned.

‘You don’t know what?’

‘The more time I spend with you, the more I won’t be able to let go.’

‘And?’

‘And I don’t know how much longer I can smile at you while knowing that you won’t be here with me forever.’

‘Then one more night together.’

‘One more night then.' He repeated.  

He leant in a kissed me passionately yet carefully on the lips, like I was about to break. His tongue didn’t ask for entrance like his normal kisses. He picked me up and then dropped me onto the bed. I stripped down to my bra and undies while he took off his shirt. We both lay down in the bed, under the blanket and after one last kiss we said a silent goodnight. He stroked my hair as we cuddled and after I felt a tear streak down my face I fell asleep. 

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not cool Ethan, but this leads to something interesting-er :) vomment please, I really would appreciate it!