Banyuhay

Ikapitong Banyuhay

hallo. I'm back writing inconsistently again. the fact that I'm writing again is a wow-factor for me. and yes, ik, I skipped the ikaanim na banyuhay. that one ain't finished yet. dunno if I should even post it. lels.

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All Well in Due Course

What am I feeling right now or what prominent feelings have I been experiencing lately? Why is this so, and what may be the root of these feelings? What is it that occupies my thoughts? Is it school, family, love life, or problems? What subject or feeling can I choose to express and focus on?

I want to present my feedback to these questions by writing a democratically-styled essay since ain't an essay, a form of literature, an art? On top of that, writing (novels or fanfictions specifically) was my passion back then when I still had excess free time. It feels nostalgic. I forgot all of those instantaneously heedlessly back in junior high school, probably because of societal and academic preoccupation after my father's demise.

Anyway, to answer the inquiries in my opening paragraph, I want to begin by answering the last question of the first paragraph. I want to convey the emotion I'm currently bearing as I merely keep my body and soul together to achieve a gratifying future life. It feels heavy. You know that feeling when everyone's got it together, and you're the only one left behind not knowing the next step to take? Yup, I'm at that stage in life. I feel like everyone knows what to do after college. They have already set plans which makes me somehow envious. I on the other hand am still stuck with seeking ardor in continuing life because I got no idea what job would motivate me in finishing my current course for I only took it because of recommendations from people around me. Furthermore, people insist that I should get a part-time job to be of assistance to my financially struggling, arduous, and widowed mother, but I know I won't be able to handle doing so given the fact that I'm an irregular student, hence I have an overload of units and I have a lot of tasks to do. No, not to mention the fact that I'm also grade-conscious because I know it's the only thing I can make myself and my family proud of plus the verity that I easily get stressed and frustrated with handling a lot of duties. The only thing I'm pretty sure of is that once I finish my studies with Latin honors, I'm planning to get a job while studying for the board licensure exam in Psychometry. That's it. My certain plan ends there. I got no clue what to do next aside from working for my mother for the rest of my life. Despite this heavy burden I carry, I can only pray for remnants of persistent hope. Well, there are two more school years including this school year. Optimistically, I can draft my way towards an ironically laborious repose.

To finish this fingers crossed wholesome essay, I would like to answer why I wrote an essay when I know I could've done a lot of other art forms or other types of written arts like a short story or fanfiction which I certainly know how to write by heart. I wanted to try something novel. Hope you see the pun, but I also want to write a realistic essay to adolescents, young adults, or even adults themselves since they could relate in this sense — that they remain to perdure in their life whenever they feel disoriented. They may ask the help of the Almighty to lead their way as well because it definitely helps. I'm gradually finding my way back to reorientation once again, and I know those who feel off-track can get back on their feet, too, in due time.