Help, I Accidentally Created A Reverse Harem With The Team Fortress 2 Mercs

How Did You Get Into My House

((REVISED 2/26/24))

You walked down the sidewalk of a busy street, backpack slung easily over one shoulder. It was a nice day, a little warmer than you'd have preferred, but it was your fault for wearing a hoodie. When you'd put it on this morning it had been chilly, and it looked so cute with your skirt and your favorite cat stockings.

Walking home from class was sometimes unpleasant, but today, it wasn't so bad. Though, that might have had something to do with the fact you wouldn't have any classes for a week. Fall break started today, despite the warm weather, and you were eager to catch up on some sleep and relax.

Gravel crunched underfoot as you walked up your driveway, fishing in your pockets for your keys. Fitting the key into the lock, you pushed open the door, sighing in relief at finally being home. You could make some rice for dinner, and play some TF2. Maybe you could call Mom and see how she is. You locked the door behind you.

You barely made it three steps into the house before you heard a thud from upstairs, and froze. Was it an intruder?

Wait, no. You had a bird. You shook your head, sighing.

"Archie, I swear to god." You marched up the stairs to your room. Your bird liked to get out of his cage and make messes in your room. You just hoped you got home before he caused too much damage.

"Archie?" You peeked into your room and proceeded to groan in annoyance. Books were scattered on the floor, your dirty laundry hamper was knocked over, and your computer mouse dangled from the desk by its cord. You didn't even know how he managed some of those.

"Archimedes! You are such a pain in the ass!" You turned towards the cage in the corner, expecting him to be perched smugly on top, but to your surprise, he was still inside the cage, door locked and everything.

You paused. If he was still in his cage, then who made this mess? You stepped forward and carefully unlocked your bird's cage, letting him climb out and onto your sleeve. You gently petted the top of his head, your brows furrowed in confusion.

"What did you do, Archie?" You sighed, slinging your backpack off your shoulder. You needed to pick everything up, but before you could even begin, there was a voice from behind you.

"It wasn't the bird."

The hair on the back of your neck stood up, and you whipped around, raising your backpack as a shield/weapon. Despite the fast movement, Archimedes easily held on, and you could feel him climbing up your sleeve to your shoulder.

A tall, slender figure stood leaning against the far wall. You could make out sunglasses and a hat, but the rest of his outfit was obscured by shadows. You must have walked right past him when you came in. He could've grabbed you from behind at any point. Your veins flooded with ice.

"Who the fuck are you?!" You demanded. You were scared, but the question came out sounding angry.

The man raised his hands in a show of peace. "We're not 'ere to hurt you. I promise!" He had a noticeable accent. Aussie, maybe?

"Who. The fuck. Are you." You repeated, shock beginning to settle into eels of fear and anger coiling in your stomach. There was a strange man in your house, and you were cornered in your bedroom. What was the likelihood that you'd be able to get past him and to the door? Maybe if you threw your backpack it would buy you a few seconds.

"I'm Sniper." The man replied, hands still raised.

"That's a dumb name." You gripped the straps of your bag tighter. "What do you mean 'we'? How many of you are there?"

"...If I promise to tell the truth, do you promise not to freak out?" He asked, hesitantly.

"...Fine."