Help, I Accidentally Created A Reverse Harem With The Team Fortress 2 Mercs

Eating Together Like A Damn Family For Once.

Scout helps you carry in the groceries. Spy had a point- the extra hands were helpful. A few mercs are in the living room, and the door opening caught their attention. You greet them merrily.

“Hey! We’re back.”

Pyro waves at you- he’s playing cards with Heavy, who seems to have begrudgingly agreed for the sake of his teammate. Seeing the mountain of a man sitting on the floor next to the coffee table makes it look like a comically small regular table.

“What are you guys playing?” You ask, pausing while you walk past. 

“Go fish.” Heavy replies, and you nod.

“Nice. Have fun, I’m gonna get dinner started.”

The short conversation was apparently enough time for Scout to put the bags down on the kitchen counter, because when you walk in, he’s pulling stuff out of bags.

“Oh! Don’t worry about putting it away, I’ll handle it. Thanks for the help, Scout.” 

“Don’t mention it.” He shrugs. He looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t, moving to leave. Then he reconsiders, pauses in the doorway, and turns back to you.

“Hey, uh, I… wanted to say thanks. For letting us stay here. I know we’re…quite the gaggle of freaks, but, uh…” He searches for the words, “but you’re doin’ us a solid. So, thanks.”

You can tell the sincerity has pushed him a little out of his comfort zone- it reminds you of the scene in Expiration Date when he asks Spy for help with getting a date with Miss Pauling.

You smile, and repeat Scout’s words to you just moments before, “Don’t mention it.”

He gives you a small smile of his own and disappears. You hear his footsteps run up the stairs, leaving you to focus on cooking. You start rice in the rice cooker and start preparing the chicken. You’re not the best cook in the world, but you don’t think your new roommates will hate your fried rice.

Huh. Roommates. That’s weird to think about.

This is probably the longest stretch of time you’ve been on your own all day since you came home from class, and given some time to reflect, you can honestly say; today has been fucking insane.

This really should be much, much harder for you to come to terms with. You went shopping with a fictional character. You’re making dinner for nine mercenaries. You’re acting like all of this is normal. Is this a coping mechanism?

This is a genuine question, and despite asking yourself, you don’t think you have an answer. A tide of self doubt wells up inside you, filling your stomach with a dense, icky feeling.

Should you have let them stay? A normal person wouldn’t have. In fact, if it had been different people, actual strangers, you wouldn’t have. But they weren’t really strangers, were they? You were, to them, but you knew enough about them to trust them, even a little bit. They didn’t have that for you.

No wonder Spy doesn’t trust you.

In fact, they probably all feel somewhat similarly and just don’t show it. Spy was trying to keep it hidden, but ironically, the thing that makes him good at his job is what gave him away.

But you could fix that. After all, you’ll be living together, so once they get to know you, you’ll be able to earn their trust. And you want to be someone they can trust.

Y’know, like a good roommate.

You don’t regret letting them stay, you decide. Things happen for a reason, and there must be a reason they fell into your house.