Help, I Accidentally Created A Reverse Harem With The Team Fortress 2 Mercs

I Know I Sound Like A Lunatic

The mercenaries sat, waiting. Sniper was giving Engineer a disapproving side eye, but the Texan's attention- and firm glare- was on you. You weren't sure where to begin, but if you didn't start talking soon you feared a greater impatience.

"Uh, let's start with this; the year is 2022." You said, picking nervously at your hoodie sleeves again. "You've traveled fifty years into the future, and I think that's going to be the easiest thing to digest about this entire situation."

Sniper's gaze snapped back to you, "Wait, what? Time travel?"

Engineer leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head, "That don't explain how you know we're mercenaries. Or you havin' our class symbols."

"I'll get there." You insisted, "The next thing you need to know is that Teufort, New Mexico doesn't exist."

"You mean it was wiped off the map? What happened?" Sniper asked, sitting forward with rapt attention.

"No." You shook your head. "It was never on the map to begin with. It's a fictional place; it doesn't exist here, nor has it ever existed here."

"Sheila, we came from Teufort. How could it not 'ave existed?"

"My working theory?" You proposed, hesitantly, "Is that, in addition to time travel, you've also launched yourselves into an alternate universe."

Engineer raised his eyebrows. "That's quite a jump. What makes ya think that?"

"Because, in this world, Teufort exists only as a concept." You picked your words carefully, trying to be as concise and to the point as possible. The sooner you explained things, the less likely you were to die. "A fictional setting for a popular piece of media called Team Fortress 2."

"That's our team name." Engineer observed, and you nearly sighed in relief when you saw him connecting the dots in his head, "So, we're thought to be fictional here?"

"Yes. Because you are fictional here." You confirmed. "You're from a video game and comic series where you and your... uh, coworkers are the main characters."

You let that sit for a moment, to allow them to process the information. You realize you're going to have to explain this to the other seven as well.

"Which is why ya know who we are." Engineer relaxed, the glare fading to a thoughtful expression. He rubbed his chin. "Ah'll be honest, that was not what ah expected."

Yeah, no shit. You thought. Now that you're not in immediate danger, you figured you could allow yourself a little annoyance.

"Yes." You said. "The reason I have the pins is because I bought them at a convention, I think I still have the package with the rest of them somewhere."

"Well, at least you're not a spy!" Sniper elbows Engineer gently, easing the tension out of the room. Engineer nods.

"Yes. Ah apologize, ma'am. Ah assumed the worst, and that is on me." He apologized, earnestly, placing his gloved hand on his chest. "Ah hope you can forgive me."

You sighed, rubbing your arm. Well, now you felt bad for getting annoyed. You offered a gentle nod in response, which he understood. You're still anxious- and he's honestly surprised you accepted his apology at all. He could understand when he was in the wrong, and this time he definitely was.

Archie chirped restlessly from his perch, and your stomach clenched nervously. You knew your bird had seen someone out the window, and not moments later, you heard the back door open. From the kitchen, a familiar boston accent called to his teammates.