Ziam oneshots ✔️

Feel

Liam's nightmares aren't filled with death and pain. He doesn't see cold eyes and bursts of light and shattering of glass. He doesn't hear maniacal laughter and screams of fear.

Liam dreams of fully furnished rooms of which he's the only occupant. He dreams of dining at a table set for just one. He dreams of sitting on a park bench on a brilliant spring day with not a single other soul around. He dreams of empty streets. He dreams he is old and shrivelled with nobody beside him in bed. He dreams of endless, echoing silence.

Liam doesn't feel in these dreams.

Nor while awake.

~

They meet by the scented candles.

Zayn picks out a set of rose and bergamot tea-lights. Liam reaches for one of the chamomile and sage pillars.

Liam needs it to help with his insomnia. Zayn wants to give Louis and Harry a housewarming present.

Zayn smiles at Liam; it's almost unnerving. Almost.

Liam helps him pick out a glass bowl for the tea-lights. Zayn asks him to dinner.

Liam says yes and later, back at home, the candle seems to burn a lot brighter than usual.

~

Zayn likes to hold his hand a lot. His hands are perennially warm and when they're wrapped around Liam's fingers, he feels like he'll never be cold again.

Zayn's mouth is soft and warm and his kisses are long and patient. He pins Liam to himself and kisses him like it's his absolute favourite thing to do.

Well, it's Liam's favourite thing anyway.

He loves Liam's hair and plays with it when he thinks Liam is asleep. Liam pretends to be asleep a lot.

Zayn sings to him; he sings softly, surprisingly tuneful, as he holds Liam pressed firmly to himself and clumsily waltzes him around his living room, knocking into the furniture and tripping over the rug. His laugh is nearly as melodious as his singing and Liam can't decide which he loves more.

He reads aloud to Zayn every night; it helps them both sleep. He reads by the light of the candles that Zayn remembers to stock up on. They always burn so bright when he's around; Liam hates to blow them out.

When Zayn is inside him, moving deeper with each thrust, it all feels startlingly real; it terrifies him. Zayn breathes words into his skin; words heavy with honesty, words that he isn't sure he even understands in the first place. Zayn seems to know the meaning; Zayn seems to mean it.

Zayn seems to feel it.

~

The reporter spits in his face and Liam turns away to wipe away the stickiness with shaking fingers. When he looks around, Zayn has blood on his fists and the reporter is babbling apologies. The incident is in the news for weeks. Zayn cheerfully cancels his subscription.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Liam greets him one morning while Zayn fries up sausages.

"Do you, now?" Zayn's kiss tastes of sugary coffee. "Sit down, love."

The table is set for two.

~

But then the ache inside Liam grows unbearable and so one night, as Zayn sleeps, Liam collects his things. He's barely reached out for the door when there are arms are around his waist, so tight that Liam instantly feels the ache ease away.

"I don't know if I can do this," Liam whispers in the dark.

"Then stay until you know for sure." Zayn takes him back to bed.

From then on in his dreams, Liam is never alone on that park bench.

~

There's something between the two of them now that claims a presence of its own. It is something blindingly bright and stiflingly warm and seems to fill every inch of every space.

It gently lulls him to sleep and carefully nudges him awake. It seems to shine out of his very pores. It dazzles Liam and he carries it around like a talisman.

It's what he tastes in Zayn's mouth. It's what he sees in Zayn's eyes and it's what he hears in his laughter. It's in the words Zayn breathes into his skin and it's what makes Liam whisper them back without hesitation.

Liam feels breathless with it. He feels fear and he feels recklessly bold. He feels hope. He feels the hope finally blossom into something intangibly infinite. He feels content.

Liam feels.

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I have no idea at all and I'm crying.

Stay safe and healthy! <3