his helpless lover

chapter 7

TW: death mention

Some years before

"I hate dazai! I hate his evil smile, I hate his manipulated mind, I hate his soft hair and his dark eyes, I hate him!" Chuuya was saying drunk talk while dazai was carrying him home but chuuya thought dazai was someone else "you really hate that dazai huh?" And he decided to play along "yeah! His the worse! I mean he has a soft side too and when he smiles my whole world is becoming brighter but he's the worse! I hate him!" "Does he have that much of a pretty smile?" Chuuya smiled and blushed while thinking about dazai "Yeah.. he has the prettiest smile i have ever seen.. and his deep dark brown eyes and even his bandages his body, he's beautiful" dazai chuckled and went red at his words, he let chuuya down because he was carrying him and made him stare at his face "wait.." chuuya had a blurry vision but he would recognise who he was looking "Dazai...?! You shitty bastard! You manipulated me into telling good stuff about you!" Dazai was staring at chuuyas shore lips "What is it bastard?!" Dazai smiled and kissed chuuya while holding his waist "youre so drunk chuuya lets go home-" before he could continue his sentence chuuya closed his mouth and kissed him while running his hand through dazais hair and cheek "youre warm" he smiled at chuuya and they both walked home, chuuya was tripping on the whole way back and kept throwing up but dazai wasn't bothered at all. He missed chuuyas kiss, they haven't kissed in months because they were both always so busy

-

"Hey chuuya! I got a sunflower and some roses for you! Roses are your favourite right?" Dazai ran to chuuya just to find him laying down "Come on get up slug! Youre laying on the flowers!" they were in a beautiful field, it was their safe place and they both loved that field and flowers so much "I'm tired leave me alone!" dazai sat next to chuuya and kept picking on his face "stop it!" "Nope" he got up and started hitting dazai ending up on top of him "don't you dare touch me again!" Dazai smiled "what if I do?" He said and touched chuuyas lips with his finger "your lips seem so pretty, but they would be even more pretty if mine were on them~" chuuya went red, hit dazai in the face and walked away "Wait chuuyaaaa! You didn't see the flowers i picked for you!" Dazai burst out laughing and while he was still mad at him chuuya started laughing too "Your laugh is so cute chuu" chuuya blushed like crazy and hit dazai in his chest but he grabbed his hand too "hmmm?" "Shut up for some seconds. Lets just walk." and that's what they did, they walked around, picking flowers hand to hand and smiling at each other.

-

"This time I will win!" "I have already won countless times and youre already my dog so even if you win it won't matter!" Chuuya started playing the video game like a maniac just to lose again "I told you sweetheart! You can't win against me!" Chuuya wanted to slap dazai but instead he didn't, he just stand there flustered by him calling him sweetheart "aww did someone get flustered?" Chuuya snapped out of it and slapped him so hard that he fell off the chair he was sitting on "ouchhh that hurt chuuyaaa" chuuya rolled his eyes but he stayed quiet as dazai started talking again "Come on darling! Come help me get uppp" everyone in the arcades were staring at them "You-!" Chuuya with full red face like a tomato kicked dazai out of the arcades and walked away on his own "Chuuyaaaaa stop leaving me behindddd" dazai kept annoying him and begging him to forgive him but after a lot of 'no' responses dazai found a way for chuuya to forgive him, they had arrived at the port mafia and he pinned him against a wall and grabbed his waist with his one hand and with the other his chin "Come on chuu, forgive me" he said with a playful smile, chuuya was red and tried to push dazai away "get off!" "No until you forgive me" chuuya was really stubborn and just stared away but dazai moved his face and made him stare in his eyes and have eye contact, after some seconds of silence dazai leaned closer and chuuya could feel his breath on his skin as he whispered to his ear "come on chuuya you know you want to forgive me~ come on say it" chuuya pushed him away getting him off and looked away "Fine I forgive you, you manipulated bastard! Now leave me alone!"

-

They were at a port mafia meeting and they were sitting next to each other, whispering all the time "im boreddd, can we leave?" "Shut up mackerel this is an important meeting!" Dazai leaned closer to chuuya "pleaseeee" "no!" after some silence dazai started playing with chuuyas hair "stop it!" "No unless we leave" chuuya clicked his tongue and grabbed dazais hand putting it away, he did a sad face to him but he just rolled his eyes, after some time dazai moved his chair closer and closer to chuuyas making their chairs touching "go away" "never" he said with a teasing smile "is something wrong chuuya-kun? Is dazai-kun bothering you?" Mori said with a 'kind' smile "no boss everything is fine" chuuya said with a sarcastic smile while dazai kept flirting with him in the whole meeting

-

"I love you chuuya" "no you don't" dazai looked at him confused "yes I do" "prove it" dazai smiled and started yelling in the streets "I LOVE YOU CHUUYAAAAAA" chuuya sushed him and pushed him in a corner "Are you out of your mind!? Everybody was staring at us!" Dazai chuckled, they were in a strange position, dazai pinned against the wall with chuuya choking him "Dont kill me chuuya you know you love me" "Youre right i won't" he said and leaned closer to him "oh is mr nakahara going to kiss me?" Chuuya started laughing and hugged dazai, dazai was so confused but took chuuya to his arms and didn't say a word "Youre such an idiot osamu. I hate you." "I love you too" he said with a smile

-

"Chuuuyaaaa do you have money?" Chuuya grinned "What do you need the money for bandage freak?" Dazai played his little drama play "i want an ice cream but got no money, I lost them all on bets, please chuuya I need that ice cream so bad" chuuya sighed and clicked his tongue "Stop with the drama already, here" he said and gave dazai some money as they walked happily to the ice cream shop "you got sprinkles on top?" Dazai asked "Yes I did" "Awh man I forgot to tell them to add sprinkles, can I get some of your ice cream?" Chuuya started yelling "No! Its my ice cream! You should have asked for sprinkles!" Chuuya had some ice cream with sprinkles on his face and dazai licked it "Gross! Get off me!" Dazai smiled being proud that he got sprinkles "Youre such an asshole! I'm not buying you ice cream ever again!"

-

"Hey chuuya" "what is it" they were at the beach, night, watching the dark sea, sitting in the sand as dazai rest his head on chuuyas shoulder "isn't the sea pretty? Ocean blue, like your eyes" chuuya chuckled "Yes it is pretty indeed" "Hey chuuya look! Its a shooting star!" Dazai said and pointed at the star "Make a wish!" "I wish he could be together forever" chuuya said and blushed while looking away "Aww that's so sweet" dazai said and smile at him and kissing him softly "I love you chuuya" "I love you too idiot" Dazai grabbed chuuyas hand and ran to the sea "What are you doing?! I don't know how to swim idiot!" Dazai grabbed chuuya from his waist and raised him in the air, their bodies touching while they were wet with salt water "Youre as pretty as the stars chuuya".

-

"You sure you want to get this tattoos?" Dazai nobbed, they were getting matching tattoos, an almost full moon and a moon that is barely filled, they got it at their arms.

-

Dazai looked at the tattoo. Memories. He had hidden that tattoo with bandages and wished to never see it again "Atsushi-kun" "Yes Dazai-san?" "Have you ever loved someone so much that you wished to hate them but you can't because you feel like they are a part of yourself?" "Thats too specific.. uhhh no i think, why?" Atsushi said awkwardly "How can I stop loving someone?" Atsushi was surprised, he didn't know what to say "maybe you can try forgetting about them or don't hide your feelings, love them" dazai smiled "thank you" he said and walked out of the agency, his memories with chuuya burnt his heart, made his blood boil he wanted to hate him and forget about him but he just couldn't, everything reminded him of chuuya, the only way to forget him was...

.
.
.

To die.

Author notes:
I don't think that book has a lot of chapters left and I'm thinking if I should give it a good end or not.. anyways I need yall's options, should I make a new fanfic about a new ship, post new soukoku fanfics I hate thought about or make a headcanons book? Tell me your opinions! And if you have any ideas or request you have for a fanfic tell me! Thank you for reading, hope you have a nice day/night <3