Olivia's Sister

Happiness in Sadness

   “Six months along.” Alex said. “This one has been the medium of them all.”
   “Some days it doesn’t feel that way.” You smirked.
   “We have an ice cream date with the kids.” Liv said.
   “Have fun!” Alex hugged you.
    The kids had fun playing at the park. Dawn was crawling. She was a normal, healthy girl. The twins and her were close. All the kids were close. The estate from Charles and Magdalene had been left to the kids. Jake had two life insurance policies that left you set for a while. None of Jake’s siblings wanted anything from their parents so they either put it in a trust for the kids, or they signed it over to you. The van was completely replaced. The money from the lawsuit settlement went towards buying the land next door and building onto the house. Your parents had moved into your old room. You were staying with Erin downstairs.
    It was frightening the way you handled Jake’s passing. Everyone was concerned with how you grieved or didn’t. They didn’t even know you were pregnant until you started showing. Something had changed with you but they couldn’t quite figure it out
    September 14th, Isaiah Charles Foster-Freeman was born. He came home the 16th. He was a calm baby. He cried only when he had a dirty butt. He slept and was happy.
    Family Christmas was underway and J.T. was playing with the kids. All your friends were there. They had come in early and stayed at your place. The kids loved it and you enjoyed it. Most left that night; J.T. and Bethany stayed.
   “Everything ok?” J.T. asked when you walked into the kitchen.
   “Yeah. Isaiah woke cuz he needed a butt change.” You grabbed a bottle of water and took a few swiggs. “Are you okay?”
   “Yeah.” He said. “Can’t sleep.”
   “We can go sit in the garage and talk if you’d like.”
   “Only if we sit inside a vehicle.” He said. “I haven’t forgotten that winter wreaks havoc on you.”
    The seats in the expedition were folded down. Talking seemed to help both of you. Out of no where, J.T. kissed you. He pulled back. You kissed him. He undressed you. He was gentle in taking in every scar. He faced you. After you nodded, he entered you. He was very gentle and took his time. “Don’t pull out.” He nodded. He felt you climaxing and brought you both to release. In the morning, you both acted like nothing had happened.

   “Hello.” Erin stepped away from the group. “I’ll be right there. Thanks.” She returned. “Is it okay if I take Hailey with me?”
   “Everything alright?” Hank asked.
   “Brynn is drunk and the bar doesn’t want her to leave without somebody being with her. He said she was a mess when she walked in.” Erin sighed.
   “Call Liv.” Hank said. “Call Matt and Gabby. We will meet them down there.”
    Everyone met at the bar. The bar tender went outside and the door was locked behind him. Liv and Erin slowly approached you. “A year.” Your words were slurred. “I slept with J.T. and it was the first time I felt any sense of being ok. None of this has been easy. Here I am with six kids and they have no father. One will never meet his father.”
    They all had been waiting for this breakdown for months and thought it wasn’t coming. When they left the house this morning at 7, you had just gotten all the kids dressed and ready for daycare. You seemed fine. The fine that you had seemed since Jake’s death. It was your new normal. Getting a call at 11 am saying you were wasted, was the sign that told everyone that this was it. Everyone was there, not just immediate family, but the whole family.
   “Jake was holding on to say bye to me. For five hours he suffered.”
   “I know things are going to be hard.” Jake said. “Nothing about life has been easy. We have five amazing kids who are going to love you and need you. This isn’t goodbye, cuz we will be together in Heaven. Matt will be an amazing father to them. I wanted to be here forever with you but God has other plans. Don’t let this turn you from opening yourself to love again. I want you to be happy! You’re the best thing to happen to me and I wouldn’t take back a single moment with you. I love you!”
   “It seemed like forever. I have lost everything. Parents, children, my other half….a part of me.” You did your best to throw a glass at the wall. It hit the wall and broke, but you also landed on the floor. “My kids need me. I don’t know how to be okay. I want my husband back and I can’t have it. I can’t replace that piece of my soul, my heart….myself. I’m sorry you were all drug down here. It’s just a tough day and I’ll be okay.” You played the last voicemail you had from Jake and lost it. Liv and Erin went over and started lifting you up. You pushed them and tried to get them to leave you but they held tight. You finally gave in and lost it. Once you passed out from exhaustion, they carried you to Hank’s and stayed with you. Your sisters and parents stayed with you for the next few days and gave you the freedom you needed to be a broken mess.