I don't want to be loved

Chapter 20: I don't want to marry

(♡)

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"Lady Lalisa, is there a chance you'll come back to Arundell?"

"Yes, maybe. I do not know."

"I see..."

Jeffrey let out a faint sigh. He had watched her since she was a babe. It pained him to know the child he had known since for and ever would be leaving so soon.

"I had thought all this time that you'd end up marrying a good man and have a child with him, but now, I can't bring myself to do so."

Lalisa laughed briefly at Jeffrey's words, one that was full of regrets.

"I don't intend to get married. And a child? I don't want one."

"What do you mean?"

"You think I'm young and that I don't know much, but that's not true. Jeffrey, I really don't want to get married or have children. I mean it."

Lalisa clasped her hand together.

Because...

When there was life in her belly, it only brought her pain and suffering.

Flashback...

When it was revealed a new seed of life sprouted in Lalisa's belly, her world changed quickly. The Queen's Palace was crowded with thousands of people and nobles who secretly respected Lalisa visited her with a congratulatory greeting and showered her with expensive gifts.

And above all, Jungkook was elated. He'd visit her whenever his schedule permitted him to and often checked her health, asking if she had eaten yet.

She shook her head, smiled, and softly muttered, "I didn't know the King has this side of him."

And from then on, it seemed like the cold years between them began to melt rapidly.

Awaiting the birth of their child, they'd frequently have a conversation for the first time.

"I wonder if we'll have a son or a daughter."

One day, he placed his hand on her growing belly and said softly.

Unlike Jungkook, who was full of expectations, Lalisa thought so otherwise and she shrunk a little at his words.

"Please be a boy."

He said.

It mattered not to Lalisa whether her unborn child was of a specific gender. No matter the outcome, she intended to pour every drop of her love, but she knew the hardships her child would face if born a princess. And knowing the hardships of bearing a child, Lalisa did not believe she'd be pregnant again. Perhaps, this child would be her first and last.

Lalisa looked at Jungkook gently and said, "I won't care if we have a son or a daughter."

But her answer was unthinkable to Jungkook. Lalisa looked at him with eyes of curiosity. Jungkook, in return, smiled.

"Of course. Never mind the child's gender. You'll slowly find out what I mean."

She wasn't sure what he meant, but she was somewhat relieved. At least she knew he'd not turn a blind eye if the unborn child was born a princess.

And come to think of it, those were the happiest moments she spent with Jungkook. He'd been nothing but friendly to Lalisa, and her father and Roseanne kept mum and silent after it was known that she was soon to bear Jungkook's child.

As time passed, her body gradually became heavier and she needed more and more rest. Lalisa left the royal palace and vacated herself in the seasonal palace. There, she spent most of her time reading books or knitting clothes for the child she was expecting, breaking away from the duties of a Queen. There were times when a loud ruckus would occur outside, but her servants usually took care of the matter quickly and so she never needed to worry.

Then, one day, Lalisa voluntarily visited Jungkook's office in the royal palace. The thought of her doing so would have been inconceivable before, but given their restored and renewed relationship, it seemed natural to visit him.

At least she thought so.

But what she saw caused her trauma.

There, in that office, she saw a man and a woman. There, was a woman with red hair lying obliquely on the royal desk with legs wide open and moaning in deep-seated pleasure. And the man, he stood in between her legs, inserting his all inside her. The woman had her arms twirled around his neck like a coiled snake and her red lips pressed on his collar.

In Lalisa's eyes, Jungkook seemed willing to enjoy the woman's caress.

The two turned their heads to find Lalisa's presence before them. Igor donned a look of surprise whereas, Roseanne wore a smile full of sneering satisfaction.

So it was like that...

🍀

( A/N: I feel so bad for her)