I don't want to be loved

Chapter 49: Marry Me

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"Yes, both my uncle and cousin are good people."

Flashback.

The Marquis and Vincent truly were the lights of her world. It was not until she came to Chrichton that she realized how deranged and abusive her past life was.

Roseanne never allowed Lalisa to hold onto anything better than her. If she did, god forbid, she'd cause a scene or formulate a plan in secret to steal that which should belong to her. And if she can't have what Lalisa has, then...

At one time, when Lalisa was a child, a point when most of the young ladies would meet to form acquaintances, Roseanne was unable to go due to her illegitimate status. She'd weep and cling to her father upon learning Lalisa could go and she could not because of her status.

"Father, if I can't go, don't let Lalisa go," Roseanne would say.

And so the Count immediately banned Lalisa from outside activities. She spent most of her time confined inside the walls of the mansion until she married into the royal palace. The only people she had social contact with were the Count, Roseanne, hired teachers, and the servants and maids hired by the Count personally... the previous servants had long left.

She was a gentle and carefree person originally, but the life she lived in captivity drained her of her innocence.

Living in the royal palace was no easy feat either. The late Queen, the only one on Lalisa's side, secretly hoped she'd agree to her words and commands too. Lalisa'd avoid the Queen's pestering for she did not want to be dragged in the world politics and intrigues. All she hoped for was peace. But she knew this hope of hers was too much to ask for. She sided with the Queen's desires in the end. There was no way to avoid it when the topic came.

The Queen would be overjoyed. When Jungkook found out, she'd say that it was Lalisa, his wife's will. The Queen's thoughts were the same as Lalisa and Lalisa could not deny it in front of him for the Queen had already spoken it into existence. Then, he'd wear a look of disappointment or anger before turning his head and walking away from her in disgust.

At the time, Lalisa thought it merely because of her lack of confidence and stupidity that she found it difficult to have a normal conversation or a proper relationship with people, but this was not the case. When she came to Chrichton, she felt the love and protection from her uncle and Vincent for the first time, something that surprised her.

Her life in captivity from the mansion had hindered her growth...

What she had gone through as a child and into her adulthood was abuse...

Flashback End.

"They really love and care for me. They're like family to me."

At this statement of hers, Lalisa somehow grew ired. She could have lived a peaceful life with her loved ones in Chrichton, but that had been shattered by the marriage proposal. If Jungkook of the past was the man she feared, then the Jungkook of this present angered and annoyed her.

Lalisa breathed softly and slowly raised her head and looked at Jungkook.

"I requested a meeting to see you because I've something to ask of you." She was calm; her nerves calm. She did not tremble when her eyes met his deep purple eyes. Good. She had the courage to speak. "That is..."

"If you're asking that I step down from the marriage offer, I cannot. I cannot allow that," Jungkook abruptly cut her off.

"No, it's not that. In fact, what I was going to ask of you was the opposite."

Only then did Jungkook look at her with confusion.

"The opposite...?"

"I earnestly ask that you choose me, not the princess, for marriage."

Jungkook stared at Lalisa silently. He donned a stiff look - he looked at her, just looked at her and said nothing. By the time his gaze changed gradually, Lalisa realized the teacup in his hand was tilting slightly. She noticed the hot tea was about to spill over onto his thighs. She opened her lips, but he hurriedly put the teacup down on the table and said, "Now, is what I heard correct? You want me... to choose you for the marriage and not the princess? Is that right?"

Lalisa interpreted his words as one of displeasure. She quickly said, "I know how rude and reckless it must be to ask this of you, but I am not asking this without any strings attached. I'll give you far more benefits should you choose me."

Jungkook frowned. "A bigger gain...?"

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