I don't want to be loved

Chapter 29: Another Funeral

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Thereafter, Lalisa bid her farewell and left the room.

When she arrived in Chrichton six years ago, Lalisa became Jennie's companion not long after. Jennie was the youngest royal child and dutifully loved by the House of Crichton. Many noblemen tried and wooed the princess' heart, but unable to bear her temper, they quit. But Lalisa, who was also of royalty by blood and the same age as the princess, arrived like a knight in shining armor and became Jennie's true friend.

Lalisa, she was authentic and Jennie liked that. Jennie grew fond of Lalisa despite their personality differing on the extreme end. Jennie had quite the temper while Lalisa was gentle and patient.

They fit in together, like two complete pieces to the puzzle.

The princess had even requested, pleaded that Lalisa live with her in the palace, but Lalisa refused. The thought of the palace made her sick.

Strolling out from the princess' residence, Lalisa passed through the garden in the middle of the palace. The sun faded to rest and the cold air penetrated through the crevice of her clothes. Lalisa stopped walking and warmed her hands, her mind recalling the conversation she had with the princess previously.

The battle between Arundell and Crichton was raging in the middle of the sea as of current. Crichton should have the upper hand. Sure there exists anomalies between her past and present life, but she's certain of Chrichton's victory. For Arundell to build their naval power within a short period of time and surpass Chrichton, it was impossible.

Yet...

She was curious.

Jungkook was somewhat sanguine but far from reckless. Lalisa knew how long the bitter process he prepared to take power. He'd have found other methods, one that did not include waging wars he could not win.

And she was curious.

Curious that he was able to subdue the Queen's power and forces, something Jungkook found extremely difficult previously.

'Is it because I was not around his presence?'

Lalisa's silver eyelashes drooped. Perhaps... perhaps her presence near Igor was toxic, perhaps they were toxic, like fire and water - one that could never mix and they destroyed themselves in the process, burning a thousand times playing with fire.

'This is for the best,' Lalisa thought. 'Isn't this what you wanted, Jungkook? You're able to do what you want.'

Jungkook was no longer the same person she once knew and Lalisa was no longer the same person Jungkook once knew.

And...

There was also one more difference in this life. Her father. He who lived a healthy and pleasant life before passed away a year ago.

Her father, she spent her life trying to please his twisted disease. She gave herself up, begging for acceptance, but there was nothing in the world Lalisa could do to receive the love from her father. He clipped her wings and became a bird that could never fly.

Jeffrey sent her a letter a year ago. It contained the Count's obituary.

As she had promised six years ago, Lalisa sent the Count the minimum monthly pension. And as it turns, the Count lived on the minimum pension with Roseanne.

And all should be well.

The minimum pension was enough for the two to live comfortably, but Count Alessin gambled the money away and later suffered from rising debts. When the private lenders discovered that he could not afford to pay his debts, they visited Jeffrey and threatened Lalisa to cough out the money, but with Jeffrey's deft handling, they was forced to give up their venture.

Because they were unable to have Lalisa cough out the debt, they turned back to the Count and went on a rampage.

The Count, unable to pay his debts, fell to his lowest point and killed himself. One morning, Roseanne entered his room and found her father on the floor and a poison glass bottle lying next to him.

That was the contents from the letter Lalisa received.

The rest of the Count's family, or the family from Lalisa's paternal side, hoped that he would remain a member of the nobility in death. They delayed his funeral and requested Lalisa if he could be buried where her mother laid to rest.

Lalisa had her reservations at first, but she made her decision quickly. She thought her mother would welcome him by her side even in death despite her one-sided-love.

Lalisa accepted their request.

Lalisa asked Jeffrey for Roseanne's whereabouts. Jeffrey replied that the Count's relatives turned their back on her and refused to accept her. After all, she was an illegitimate child. No one knew where she went.

And Lalisa, she felt nothing.

She did nothing when she learned her father passed away. She did not go to his funeral, and she did not try to find Roseanne, whose whereabouts were unknown.

They had history and that was something Lalisa could overlook. Sure, the Count was furious that Lalisa took away the chance for his other daughter to experience the life of luxury, but that was not Lalisa's problem.

She should feel sorry, but she did not know how to.

Her father and her sister, they brought her to the abysmal darkness.

To Lalisa, the two weren't worth her sympathy. And now, their ties was cut. The Count was dead and Roseanne was nowhere to be found.

There was nothing that tied her to them.

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