One Year - (Jadam Story)

~Day 100 - Hero~

Adam's POV

It's been almost a week since James passed out. I've been trying my best to keep an extra close eye on him to spot any signs of stress. I can barely let him out of my sight. I never want what happened to him that day to ever happen again.

My friends have been split on if I should tell him the truth or not. It's a situation none of us expected to be in but I put us in it.

Swirl said I needed to remind James of the past.

Swirl.

I wish I could take back all the words I said to them. It's been a little over a week since we last spoke. I can only imagine that we never will again. I'm grateful they didn't try to reverse the spell, not that there's any way to do that besides murdering him.

I feel lost. My brain is just jumping back and forth between thoughts. It's too hard to focus on work. Music and animation production has stopped completely. I've stopped completely. The only reason I get up in the morning is so I can keep James safe. For once, I want to do the right thing for him.

Staring at the ceiling, listening to the cars pass by, counting the seconds. It's 2 in the afternoon. I've gotten up twice, once to pee and the other to check on James. I'm just existing.

The holidays will be coming around. What will I say to James? How can I tell him he can't see his family? Can I even do that? He's a grow ass man and I don't control him. He has the right to do whatever he damn pleases. His parents, his siblings, his entire family still believes he's dead right now. His friends got to know that he existed before his parents did. Would it be better if I just don't tell them? Take the pain away, make sure they don't have to grieve a second time? What would they say to me if they found out? They'd probably lose their absolutely shit! They have every right to.

"Adam?"

I turned my head and looked over at the door. James was peaking in. I put on a smile and sat up.

"Hey Jameson, how's it going?" I asked with a smirk.

"Are you okay? You've been inside all day every day since I first woke up. I'm fine now I promise. I haven't had a headache in a few days. I'm good see?"

"I'm fine man, I'm just tired lately. I'm just checking in, in case you know?"

James paused.

"I don't believe you. You're lying I can tell. I don't know how but I can just tell. Please get up Adam!"

I perked up a bit at this. I felt a bit of sweat run down my face. James could always tell when I was lying.

I got up as fighting him was not the answer. He was still healing and the stress could make him worse. I let out a long sigh as I slowly walked over to him.

"Good now go take a shower because we're going for a run." he demanded.

I slide my smelly ass into the shower and got myself cleaned up. I put on a shirt and some sweat pants and went downstairs to meet with Robert. To my surprise, he was wearing a blue and white running shirt with some matching sweat pants along with some white sneakers. I could smell a hint of cologne, the one he'd put on for our date nights, the one his clothes reeked of after a long day, the one the bedsheets smelled of after a long night, the one that would make me break down once the house became so empty. It wasn't just any cologne, it was his cologne.

"You seem all dazzled up. Now I feel under dressed."

He shrugged. "That's okay, you look perfect the way you are now. Let's head out for that run shall we?"

James lead the way as he jogged throughout the neighborhood, taking the dogs with us. He was a lot faster than I was (time to lay off the choccy milk and bagel bites). He seemed so happy to just be out of the house, like letting a bird out of it's cage. His eyes sparkled in the sun. He was so damn handsome.

"Something caught your eye?" he teased.

I felt all warm and bubbly inside, then looked away to try and think of a response.

"I'm just messing with you Ads!" he smiles and ran ahead of me.

~~~

It was sunset now. The air became chilly with the crispy scent of the cold winter ahead. I began to shiver as I was completely underdressed by just coming out with a damn t-shirt. I leaned closer to James for the warmth I needed.

"It's November now Adam," he chuckled, "Here have this."

James took off his sweater shirt and helped slide it on to me. I had no words. It was soft and warm and it smelled just like him. This was Heaven, I was sitting on Cloud 9. I looked up at him with this face of shock which was my silent way of saying thank you.

"Thank you for saving me." he whispered.

"What?"

"You know. Maaz told me what you did."

I froze.

"He told me to chose to give me as much life as humanly possible. Ever since he told me that, all I want to do is live and I feel the most alive when I'm with you. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Adam. You changed my life forever. You're my hero."

I stared. Warm tears ran down my face.

He said I was a hero but I feel like a damn villain.

The only person I thought about this entire time was myself.

I brought James back to life for me.
I kept him at home to myself.
I didn't let him post.
I hid him from his friends, fans, and family.
I lied to everyone just so I could keep him for myself.
I haven't even told him the truth, not because Swirl told me I had to make him remember, because I don't want him to hate me for what I'm doing.

I bitched like a fucking baby. The tears fell down my face like a rushing waterfall. I couldn't even look at him. I'm too ashamed.

James pulled me into a tight hug which only made it worse. I sobbed until I couldn't feel a single bone in my body. I cried till I was cry and dehydrated. I whined and whimpered until there was no more. Just silence.

~~~

I groaned.

My nose was stuffy and my body was heavy. I tried to move but I just couldn't.

My eyes met with a sleeping Jameson cuddling me. I felt so warm and comfortable. The bed felt full something that it hasn't felt like in so long. I felt at peace. It was like my spirit was set free.

Do I deserve this? No.

Do I deserve him? No.

Am I happy? Yes.

I was gonna take it.

All I wanna feel is happy.

Today he was my hero.