Loving Hero

Prologue

I am dying.

I can feel my soul slipping away from me.

My heart is dying.

My heart doesn’t feel like mine anymore.

The pain is nothing I have ever felt before.

I am numb.

That’s what I am feeling right now and the rain pouring mocks me as it’s supposed to wash away the dirt but I don’t want to, I’m not ready and I will never be. It can’t force me to let go. I’m holding on to my dirt. I am clinging to our love that he will show up. He has to because I’m nothing without him. I will not survive.

A part of me knows this is for the best but my heart is aching for him.

I miss him even though he is bad for me.

I’m madly in love with him even though he treats me badly and all I see is his good side.

The little boy whom yearns to be loved.

The little boy who had to make dangerous choices to survive.

Do I wish he were different? Better?

I also don’t have an answer.

It’s complicated.

The doctor checking on me tried to get me to talk but all he has gotten was a shake of my head and a nod. How he could he do this to me? how could he choose to go to jail than flee? I don’t understand how Brian is calm about all of this. How is it he is not on the news? Only John is mentioned and how they put an end to his drug organization but nothing about Hero.

Did he choose not to be known until the trial?

Where did they take him?

is he scared?

Is he okay?

I get up from the couch with the blanket wrapped around my body and walk to the window bay barefooted and watch the rain. The coldness of the tiles does nothing to cure my pain like I thought it could. Right now, I’m in the dark, confused and find it hard to breathe. Some parts of me blame Stella and myself and I don’t think that feeling will go away anytime soon. If she hadn’t done what she did, then Hero would still be here with me and not in some cold jail cell with no blankets or proper bed.

Does he regret his decision?

I hope he does.

“You need to eat Thea,” Stella says and I continue looking through the window and ignore her.

This is her fault.

Hero is suffering because of her.

She should have asked for help instead of kidnapping me.

We would have come up with a plan.

He wouldn’t have allowed anything to her mom.

Now he is alone and has no one as he has feared in the first place.

Hero’s biggest fear is being alone and now it has come true.

“I’m not hungry.” I glare at her, and she has that sympathetic look on her that I hate. I know she knows a part of me blames her as she would to me, and she would never try and defend herself.

“Wear this.” Slippers fill my vision and I turn to find Brian with a cup of coffee in his hand and he has that look of ‘I dare you to challenge me’ on him.
I slip into the slippers, and he hands me the cup and walks away without saying anything.

They are all the same.

I think I spent too much time consumed by Hero that I never took a chance to study Brian and Logan.