Loving Hero

move in with me

“Hey, baby!” I pat Ginger on her head, and she jumps up and down in excitement.

“I missed you too!” I make my way to the fridge at the same my phone rings.
Dad’s name flashes on the screen.
I really don’t want to think about what happened last night nor do I want to listen to them giving me excuse after excuse. I have had enough of those.
The ringing stops but soon after my phone chimes with a new message.

Hey, honey, I know you feel betrayed but everything we did was to protect you and I hope soon you will give us a chance to explain until then please take care of yourself and call me if you need anything.

I am not surprised that dad reached out first, I expected it and it breaks my heart not to talk to him but I need time. I need to deal with this on my own time. I need to talk to Caroline to understand why she left me to be raised by her sister.
Ginger barks at me drawing me away from my painful thoughts and I’m grateful for it. The less I think about it the better.

“You hungry?” I kneel and she licks my face.

“Someone missed you,” Nick says leaning against the door frame. I get up and lean against the counter.

“Is it necessary for me to come tonight?” I have been hoping he would sleep in. he strides towards me and cups my face.

“There’s no need to be afraid. You are amazing and they will love you.”
That is not what I’m afraid of but it is part of my list of problems. What I am scared of is Kane revealing everything that happened in New York to everyone. I’m scared you will not look at me like you used to like I’m the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your life.

Kane has no filter.

He will trample everyone in his to get what he wants and no matter how much I try I always end up exactly where he wants me. I wish I could fight him sometimes. I wish my body and mind agreed on logical stuff but someone in one of my favourite shows said the heart has no logic and now I see how right they are.

“Okay.” Arguing or trying to convince him to ditch the dinner is not going to get me anywhere so I drag my feet to the bathroom wishing a medical condition would attack me. I turn the shower on and step in. The water cascading down my body doesn’t do anything to ease my worries. The door opens and a naked Nick steps in and washes my hair.

“So, I have been thinking that  it’s time we move in together.” I stop midway.
That was a question but rather a statement. I haven’t even thought about moving in with him or want to move in with him. I love leaving alone and I don’t cohabitation. A part of me is suspicious of Kane and I or he doesn’t want to give Kane an opportunity to get between and he is scared he will lose me.

I am scared I will lose myself too.

I am scared I will lose myself in Kane too. God knows I lose all senses when it comes to him.
He is my blind spot.
I could never see a flaw in him.

“I can’t.” I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body. He turns the shower off and follows me to the bedroom.

“Why not?” I grab a simple off-shoulder puff-sleeve dress.

“Because it feels rushed.” I half lie.

“That’s pull shit and you know. We have been dating for four years now.” He reasons.

“So?” I put my shoes on.

“So, this is the right step.”

“For whom?” I open my make-up bag and touch up my face.

“For us!” he sits on the edge of the bed and we connect our eyes through the mirror. “Why do I feel like I am the only one in this relationship who wants this change?” I sigh. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it? Is Kane?” is he going to bring up Kane every time I don’t agree with him?

“You seem more obsessed with him than me.” I grab my bag and walk out.

“Thea!”

“Are we going to dinner or not?” That shuts him up and he grabs his car keys.