Full Bloom

Vibes at the Video Store

It was the perfect Friday night at our local Hollywood Video store. Karen preferred the Blockbuster down the road, but I always had a soft spot for this place. They had better candy, and most importantly, we could hang out with Nassi.

Seeing her behind the counter really made me wish I could still work there. I was pretty drained from my night with Annie. Who knew basic addition and subtraction would be so hard to teach a six-year-old?

"So, have you told your family yet?" Karen asked, leaning over the counter and eyeing the cookie-dough bites.

"Told them what?" I said, tearing open a bag of the Sour Patch watermelons that I was about to devour. I was craving everything watermelon, including watermelon candy.

"Tell them that you're pregnant, dummy!" she said.

"Shh! Keep it down! Someone from school could show up!" I said.

"Wait, have you still not told them?" Nassi asked, taking out some cleaner and a rag from behind the counter.

"Well...can you blame me? They'll be so disappointed," I said. "Besides, we don't know for sure," I said.

"Jen, are you for real? You haven't gotten your period in two months and you've been eating everything," Karen said.

"Right, but I haven't been throwing up though," I said.

"When my mom had my little brother, she didn't get sick at all," Nassi said, spraying the cleaner on the counter and wiping it down so it looked like she was doing something.

I sighed. "I just don't know how I'm gonna tell them. They're gonna be so mad at me. I'm sixteen."

"Honestly I can't say I blame you. If my parents found out that I'd been with someone before marrying, they'd probably never speak to me again. They'd kick me out of the house. I just know it," said Nassi. "But your grandparents are really relaxed. I'm sure they won't throw you on the street."

We scooted over, seeing a mom and her two girls come to the counter. Each of them held a different Christmas VHS. Nassi gave them a nice smile and scanned each of the plastic VHS cases. The older of the two girls, wearing a brand new LL Bean jacket, tugged on her mom's coat.

I watched as her mom leaned down and the girl cupped her hand over her mouth and whispered to her mom, "Is she a terrorist?"

Nassi, Karen, and I all froze. Nassi told me about things like this before, and I saw people throw drinks at her in school, even trying to take her hijab off, but it hit differently seeing a child ask that question.

"No," her mother said, very firmly.

Nassi finished ringing them up and the mother left the store with her kids. We all exchanged glances, trying to figure out what to say.

"I'm sorry, Nassi," I said.

"It's okay. It's frustrating, but okay. Sometimes I just get so sick of being called a terrorist. My family deals with the same thing," she said.

"Maybe as time goes on, it'll get better?" Karen said.

"It's already been three months since Nine-Eleven. I don't know how much longer it's going to take, but there's nothing I can do. I'm not going to stop wearing my hijab. Period," Nassi said.

"That is girl power if I've ever seen it," said Karen.

"Anyway, speaking of girls..." Nassi looked back over at me. "What are you going to do? Do you want an abortion?"

"Uh...probably not. I feel like it would make me a hypocrite," I said.

"What? How does getting rid of a problem and living life as a normal teenager make you a hypocrite?" asked Karen. 

"Because, you know...my mom was pregnant and had me at sixteen. She didn't abort me. I want to be here. I want to be alive and have a life. I feel like this baby would want the same thing."

"It's really just a clump of cells at this point. It's not technically a baby," Karen said, sucking on a lollipop that she swiped from the counter.

I watched as Nassi's eyes narrowed at Karen.

"How about we just agree to disagree?" I asked.

"What? But you can't disagree with that. It's literally a fact. You're what, six or so weeks along? It's cells. It's mush. It's not a baby yet," Karen said.

"Regardless, no abortion for me. I'll pass. I'm sure it's the right choice for lots of girls, but personally I just can't do it. Not after I was born from a teen mom," I said.

"You know, I've heard those things are a cycle. Like, look. Your mom had you at sixteen, now you're pregnant and sixteen..." Karen gasped, then started giggling. "Could you imagine if you had a girl and then she got pregnant at sixteen?"

"Oh puh-lease. Don't even go there," Nassi said, finishing up her wiping of the counter. "Don't listen to her, Jen."

"I feel like the only thing I can hear is my anxiety. I don't know how I'm gonna tell my grandparents or Oliver. I don't know who I should tell first," I said.

"Probably Ollie," Karen said. "It's his cell clump."

"Baby. Human being," Nassi said, an edge to her voice.

"That's enough, you two! I'm having a crisis here!" I said.

"She started it," Nassi said, pointing to Karen. "She's being such a...her. Just getting under my skin and pressing my buttons. I'm proud of my religion and my beliefs. I'm not going to change the way I think about the situation. Jen is right. We need to be there for her instead of picking fights about politics."

"Okay, Jen, what can we do to help?" Karen asked.

I leaned over the counter and sighed. "Giving me a bag of those watermelon candies would be a good start."

"That, I can do," Nassi said.

I watched as she took the bag out from under the counter, pressed the buttons on the register so it went under her employee number (making it free) and handed it to me. I eagerly opened the bag and shoved a bunch in my mouth.

"What else?" Karen asked.

"Well," I said, my mouth full of gummy watermelons. "I guess I should probably go to a doctor and see what's going on. I don't want to tell Ollie and my family that I'm pregnant if I'm not a hundred percent sure."

"Judging by the fact that you literally hate those normally, I'd say you're definitely pregnant," Karen said.

"I agree tenfold," said Nassi.

I swallowed some of the candy I was chewing and took a deep breath. "Regardless, I gotta go see a doctor and figure out what's going on."