Full Bloom

How to Tell Him?

"This is the worst Christmas of my life, Karen!" I said, laying down on her bed and looking up at the glow-in-the dark stars that were on her ceiling.

"I told you it was a bad idea," Karen said from her inflatable armchair on the other side of the room, her voice loud over the music playing out of her CD player.

"Hey!" I said, turning over. "Stop listening to Britney and start listening to me!"

She pressed a button on her CD player and took off her headphones.

"Jennifer Lynn, you have the floor," she said, motioning to her bedroom area rug, which was covered with clothes and boyband magazines.

I buried my face in one of her many, butterfly-shaped pillows. "Ugh. This is so hard!"

"Are you serious? You think the hardest part about being pregnant is going to be telling everyone that you're gonna be a teen mom? Jen, you have to push a baby out of your vagina!"

I let out a long, over dramatic sigh. "Thanks for the reminder."

"You're welcome!"

I laughed and tossed the pillow at her. "You snarky bitch!"

"My middle name!" Karen said, proudly crossing her arms.

Sometimes, I didn't know how I would get through life without her, Nassi, and Ollie.

"I need to find a way to tell him. If my grandpa reacted this bad, then I can't imagine how poor Ollie is gonna react. He's not great in stressful situations."

"Honestly, I'm surprised your grandpa reacted the way he did. You guys never fight about anything." She grabbed the canister of 3D Doritos from the side of her chair, twisted off the cap, and popped a few in her mouth. "The one time I gave you good advice and you chose to ignore it...you should've sat down and had a formal talk with him like I suggested."

"I thought it would be cute, okay!"

"Do you hear yourself? You know when things like that are cute? When you're financially stable, have a husband, and are trying for a baby! Not when you're sixteen, unmarried, and living in a house with your grandparents, who have already been through this before."

I turned away from Karen, my eyes looking at her NSYNC poster instead. "I'm not my mom. I'll never be my mom. I don't know this baby that well, but I feel like I love it already. I can't abort them or give them to someone else. I know I can be a good mom, even if I'm really young!"

"See, that's what you can tell Ollie," Karen said.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Girls?" said Jolene, Karen's mom. "Jen, your grandpa is on the phone for you downstairs."

Karen and I exchanged glances and went downstairs to the kitchen, where the landline was resting on the counter. I immediately took my finger and started twisting it up in the cord, like I always did during a stressful phone call.

"Uhh...hello? Grandpa?" I said.

"Jenny, thank goodness. I wasn't sure where you ran off to. I'm so glad I found you," he said.

"You...are?"

"Yes, I am." He sighed. "I'm so sorry I got upset at you. I was so shocked. And I'm just so disappointed. You get good grades and so does Oliver. Me and your grandma raised you with a good upbringing. We had so much more stability raising you than when we raised your mother. We never thought this would happen."

"You told grandma? Does she even understand?" I asked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure." He paused. "I'm...really not sure if she did or not."

"Oh," I said.

"Jenny, I have the meatloaf in the oven. Come home. We don't need to do this on Christmas."

I looked over at Jolene across the kitchen, who was pulling a really delicious-looking ham out of the oven. My grandpa's meatloaf was okay, but honestly I'd much rather have the ham. I was craving all things salty today.

"I dunno...it really hurt my feelings when you compared me to..to Margaret. I'm not her, Grandpa! I'll never be like her," I said.

"Jenny, I'm sorry. It was just so shocking to find out that now my granddaughter is going to be an unwed mother...but you're right. That's not an excuse."

I sighed. "Okay...well I guess I can accept your apology...I'll grab my coat and walk home."

"Alrighty. Be home soon. Bye," he said, hanging up.

I hung the phone back up on the wall and looked at Karen and Jolene.

"No parent or grandparent is perfect, Jen," said Jolene. "But I know that yours love you more than anything. Go home. Have Christmas dinner with them."

"I know. I will," I said.

I got my coat and shoes. Jolene got me a little piece of ham to-go. It was icy and Karen was worried about me slipping and falling, so she walked all the way back to my house with me.

"I'm surprised," I said, going up my porch.

"By what?" Karen asked.

"I thought you said I was just carrying a cell clump. If that's all it is...why would it matter if it got hurt when I fell?"

"Because you love that little thing. And as your best friend, if you love your cell clump, than I have to love it, too." She said, giving me a small smile. "Good luck. Call my number if you need me."

"Yeah. I will. Merry Christmas, Karen."

"Merry Christmas, Jen plus her cell clump!" she said, waving and walking down my driveway.

I chuckled. "Hmp, cell clump." I pressed my hand against my stomach, which was feeling harder than usual. "No matter how small you start out or how big you get, you'll always be my little baby."

I opened the door, walking inside my warm house, but still feeling the thick tension in the air. I hoped that once I finally told Oliver it wouldn't be a huge fight that resulted in me leaving the house.