Austin walked ahead of me to his car, and stopped. I ran into the back of him, causing me to fall back to the ground. I rubbed my nose giving him a huff. He shook his head and turned to face me. His face showing amusement.
"Walk much"? He chuckled and held his hand out for me to grab.
"Why'd you stop. You could have broken my nose. You always do that to me". I said.
He was so tall that he probably couldnt hear me up there. I giggled to myself at my own joke and followed him to the car. He opened the door for me and I got in, my nose still throbbing. He got in and turned to me. His eyes met my nose as he leaned over to give it a little kiss. He started the car and grabbed my hand to hold. He could be sweet if he wanted to be.
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"Tell me". I begged as he sat and laughed. "Pretty please"? But nothing. I slouched back into my seat and sighed. I hated surprises. "Fine, can we at least talk to each other? I feel like I know nothing about you". I spoke and he rolled his eyes.
"Fine, what do you want to know"?
I picked my brain, thinking of what to ask him. He wasnt a 'let's talk deep' kinda guy so I stuck with the basics.
"When did you graduate"?
"Graduate?"
"Yeah highschool, college"?I pushed, he found it amusing.
His lips made a thin line as he turned down the highway. "2010, Highschool". He answered but it sounded like a guess.
"No college"? I asked.
He shook his head and grabbed his drink from the cup holder. "Fuck that".
I put my head down. Dont hate on college Mr. Butler.
"When was your first kiss"? I asked next, he stiffened a bit.
"I was 12".
"With who"? But he shook his head.
"I dont know. It's been forever and I've kissed to many to name". He bluntly spoke.
I bit the inside of my cheek as the car stopped at the red light.
"What year did you graduate"? Now he was asking the questions.
"2014 and I cant remember my first kiss". I giggled. I kinda liked this. I never got this type of stuff with Alex.
"Okay seriously this question will help me solve everything about you. What is your job really"? I prayed he would answer it and not slide it under the rug.
"Ohh. This is when the questions become serious. Okay, um. I'm a mailman". He spoke, not even a chuckle from his beautiful lips.
"Stop playing with me. Please tell me. I think I have a right to know". I begged but he kept shaking his head.
"To dangerous". He mumbled and turned down another road, this time the outside world around us got pitch dark.
"Is this the car ride where you kill me and bury the body"? I asked.
He laughed out loud and pulled into a dirt lot, parking the car and faced me. "No, not this ride". He shut the car off and got out, leaving me there to question everything.
When he got to my door and opened it and I was hesitant, did I want to get out? He held his hand for me to take and after contemplating I gave in. He walked a head of me to the front of the car and jumped up on the hood, patting the spot next to him. I got up, but more like a struggle and sat. We were staring into nothing but a opened field.
"I come here almost every night. I think of it as my quiet place". He spoke softly.
I took the opportunity to shut my eyes and just listen to his voice. It was soothing. He grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze before he started talking again.
"I promised myself I'd give you some input about myself. But lately it's been one hell of a roller coaster. You need to understand that I'm not telling you these things because I want to protect your mind. I dont want you to look at me differently, because quite frankly you're to pure for me to lose you". He whispered.
Lose me?
"Austin, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave. You make me feel safe, safer then I've ever been".
He moved closer to me, so now my head was laying on his shoulder. He was the reason for my smiles lately and I'd be lying if I said he wasnt. Nobody never understood why my emotions were all over the place. I cant even blame Alex for all of it either. I wasnt happy, I never felt like I could live for anything or anyone.
"When your brother showed me a picture of you on his phone, letting me meet his family before actually meeting. I couldn't help myself but to be intrigued. Your eyes and smile brought me in. I promised myself to leave you alone but clearly I lost against my mind". He laughed.
"Well, since were telling the truth with feelings". I trailed on. Do I want to tell him how I really feel?
"Well". Why cant i get this out?
"Alex and i had been together for three years. I was in love with the feeling of love, i didnt care if he had anything to give me back. When my dad passed, he changed. He was distant and would lie all the time, what he didnt know was I already knew his next move". I fully turned to him and he was biting his lip, really paying attention.
"The first fight we had was at my dads funeral. He showed up drunk on his motorcycle. When I told him to go home he got nasty with me, telling me how useless I was in front of family and friends. Since that day I was told to end it, but I was young. I thought he would change". I wiped the tear from my cheek.
Austin squeezed my hand, running his finger over the top of my hand.
"He never hit me, but the words hurt alot more. There were days that I wish he did, just to make me understand why I was even with him. For years I hid myself from others, losing friends in the process. I confided in books and work to ease my pain where I would finally feel better, but it never worked. It was just until last year when I finally understood who I wanted to be, so i applied to a school to get a degree, started eating better, and changed my appearance,but feeling so good about myself would come crashing down in seconds". I was in a full blown crying mood at this point.
"What finally made you stop and think that you didnt have to change"? He asked.
I wiped my eyes and looked up, giving him a small smile.
