BAU group chat with OC (DISCONTINUED)

11: Dad Jokes

🖕PUSSY PROFILERS🖕
12:00 AM

You:
Did you hear about that Geologist?

You:
He took his wife for granite so she left him.

Panty:
I fell butt naked into a plate of glitter.

Panty:
It was pretty nuts.

MILF:
What do you call an illegally parked frog?

MILF:
Toad.

DILF:
What did the drummer name his two daughters?

DILF:
Anna 1 Anna 2.

Slenderman:
Why cant a tomato win a race?

Slenderman:
Cause it can't ketchup.

Emo:
When I was younger there was only twenty-five letters in the alphabet.

Emo:
Nobody knew Y.

You:
Why couldnt the bike stand on its own?

You:
Because it was too tired.

Panty:
Did you hear about that hungry clock?

Panty:
Went back four seconds.

MILF:
I tried to catch the fog earlier.

MILF:
I mist.

DILF:
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

DILF:
It wasnt peeling well.

Slenderman:
Im going outside.

Slenderman:
If anyone asks im outstanding.

Emo:
Why cant you win a race if you nap?

Emo:
Cause if you snooze you lose.

You:
What is a soldiers least favorite month?

You:
The month of March.

Panty:
Guys, I got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident.

Panty:
They put me in the ICU.

MILF:
Birthdays are nice and all...

MILF:
...but too many can kill you.

DILF:
Why are pirates called pirates?

DILF:
Cause they arrrr.

Slenderman:
I ran out of toilet paper so ive just been using newspaper.

Slenderman:
The Times are rough.

Emo:
Two guys walk into a bar.

Emo:
The third one ducks.

You:
Im selling my chimney for free.

You:
You could say, its on the house.

Panty:
What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the backside?

Panty:
A mega-sore-ass.

MILF:
Dont fart in an apple store.

MILF:
The dont have windows.

DILF:
Did you hear about the guy who evaporated?

DILF:
He will be mist.

Slenderman:
Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

Slenderman:
A calendar has dates.

Emo:
Tequila may not fix your life.

Emo:
But its worth a shot.

You:
I asked my friend when his birthday was, he said March 1st.

You:
I stood up walked around the room and asked again.

Panty:
I crashed my new Kia.

Panty:
Now i have Nokia.

MILF:
A genie granted me a wish - so i wished to be happy.

MILF:
Now i live with 6 other dwarves and work in a mine.

DILF:
Im not saying im attractive but when I take my clothes off in the bathroom...

DILF:
I turn the shower on.

Slendeman:
My landlord says he need to come talk about how high my heating bill is.

Slenderman:
I told him the door is always open.

Emo:
Scientists have discovered fossilised dinosaur farts.

Emo:
They say its a blast from the past.

You:
John Travolta tested negative for the corona virus.

You:
Turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever.

MILF:
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

DILF:
My son, Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables.

DILF:
Jack and the beans talk.

Slenderman:
Did you know Stephen King has a son named Joe?

Slenderman:
Im not joking but he is.

Emo:
I tried to climb a really tall tower in France ages ago...

Emo:
...but Eiffel off.

You:
What do you call a magician who lost his magic?

You:
Ian.

Papa:
Why are you all making dad jokes?

You:
To make up for the fact that we had a shitty childhood and/or atleast one shitty parent.

BBG:
Atleast you have parents SMH 🙄🖕