photographs - a.t

i need you to know that

vada

"just fucking never mind then." rue stormed off and slammed the door. "rue what the fuck do you want me to do about it? huh?" i yelled storming after her. i opened my door and walked through the hallway, peering around the corner to see rue basically ripping out her hair.

"rue, what the hell are you doing?" i rushed over to her pulling her hands away from her head. "i ju- i just need someone who is going to understand why this has to happen." she let out a sob. "rue, you have my support for basically everything, but i can't support you going to weed when weed is basically a fucking drug."

she let herself fall, banging her back on the cabinets behind her. "you know what, it you can't understand me then you just don't have to deal with me at all." rue stared at the floor. "what do you mean." "i mean that i want you to get the fuck away from me." she got up and stormed to her room. i heard the door slam.

i go to gias room and change into a big jumper and some biker shorts, pairing them with some white and black air jordan's.

i grab my keys, wallet, and phone and head to the dining room table. i write a note to my aunt that i'll be out at lexis (because i know she'll lie for me) and head out to fezcos store.

"then she was like all, that's means i want you to get the fuck away from me or something like that, and i swear i felt my skin crawl. like all i'm trying to do is look out for her and she just won't take the help." i rant to ashtray.

i feel kind of bad throwing all this on him. actually, i feel really bad. i shouldn't have done that. i shouldn't have pushed rue. just knowing rue, she's probably going off doing any drug besides weed. i should've just supported her.

"why'd you go all quiet?" he looked at me. i shrugged my shoulders. "so that's it?" he's leaned back, getting comfy. "mhm." i played with my fingers. i think he took notice because he came from behind his desk and leaned down in front of me.

"you know it's not your fault." he said softly. i honestly could cry. "yeah mhm." i replied, looking at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears. "look at me." he muttered. i look down at him and bit my lip. i can't do this shit. "it's not your fault." he put his hand on my cheek. "i need you to know that." he did that thing where he widens his eyes and tilted his head down like he feels some sort of sympathy for me.

i don't need anyone feeling sympathetic for me, but i know he is just being nice.

"yeah. i know." i nodded my head pretty fast. he rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "alright." he gave me a lippy smile and got up to kiss my forehead.

the way my stomach felt like a zoo.

a/n
mmk.
i just gave myself
a stick and poke tattoo
of 'DF' for divine feminine
on my ankle and i'm in love.