It's the first snowfall I've seen for a while. I walk down the busy sidewalks feeling the soft flakes fall against my nose and get stuck on my eyelashes. I feel a soft breeze blow through my hair and watch as cars pass by on the street. This would be just another winter alone, I stumbled into a busy coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate. I rubbed my hands together and tried to work my cold fingers to open my phone.
"Tessa Hart." I grabbed the hot cocoa and walked out of the shop and continued walking. To be honest, I didn't have a specific place in mind to go to. I just enjoyed the way the snowflakes fell silently around me. I stopped at a park and watched as people passed by. I sipped at the hot chocolate feeling my hands warm as I held the cup.
"Tess?" My head snapped up at the name and I saw him. His fluffy brown hair, and his soft green eyes.
"Max?" I felt my heart pound. Of course I knew him, we had been childhood best friends until he moved away after high school.
"It is you!" He had his bright smile and his dimples. His hair was littered with white specks, and his nose had turned a pink shade from the cold.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. He sat down next to me on the bench.
"I came here, just to try out something new. I actually moved here a few days ago!" He sounded so excited. I nodded along, he had always been the vibrant, happy, and outgoing one. I had been the one who was shy, and decided that social interaction wasn't all that great.
"How have you been? Any cute guys?" He asked. His green eyes were bright against the falling snowflakes. He looked so happy. I shook my head and looked into the distance.
"Nope. Still waiting." I tried to return his happy mood with a smile, but all I could feel was a tightening in my chest, as he practically bounced off the bench.
"I found this amazing girl! She's blonde and has these beautiful pair of blue eyes, like the ocean. She's so amazing!" He looked like he was dancing in a world of his own.
"How long have you been with her?" I didn't want to know the answer, but I knew I couldn't steal his happiness from him. It'd be selfish.
"About a year now." He finally sat back down on the bench, his smile never faded, until he looked at me and tilted his head. "Tess? How long have you been like this?" It was a question I try to avoid.
"Like what?" I sipped at the hot cocoa, and felt his happy self fade away. I cursed myself for being such a selfish person. He deserves the world, and I'm dampening it with my own feelings.
"You've always been the happy type, but now you just seem alone, sad. How long have you been alone?" The damn man can still read me like an open book.
"It's been a while. Ever since you left I buried myself in work, school, told myself I didn't need anyone else. I ended up here, and I still have no reason to be in a relationship," because I want you. I wanted to say so badly. I gave him a sad smile and watched as his face became down.
"There has to be someone." He said. I held back my feelings, the tightening feeling around my heart as he stood from the bench like someone on a mission. He always did this, trying to help me find a reason to smile. Yet, he was the only reason I had to smile, the only reason I needed.
"There is, or was." I said quietly. He turned to me and raised an eyebrow.
"Was?" He asked and sat back down next to me.
"They found someone else." I said, I knew my voice would crack at any moment so I stood from the bench and turned to leave. I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Wait, who?" He stared into my eyes like he was trying to read me all at once. I started to walk and he walked beside me his hands in his pockets, and the cup of hot chocolate long gone cold still in my grasp.
"He has the sweetest smile, the fluffiest hair, loves to laugh, has the most beautiful pair of eyes. He's the whole reason I ever wanted to go to school, to go outside. He was the only reason I tried so hard. Yet, now he found another girl. One that will finally be able to make him smile all the time, one that won't make him worry, I wish I could've been her." I took a deep breath and turned to him with a tear stained face.
"I wish I could've been the girl for you." I walked away, leaving Max standing speechless in the same spot. I wiped the tears from my face and tossed the cold drink into a trash. I walked with my hands in my pockets and the snow now becoming a nuisance. The cold made me shiver as I trudged back to my apartment.
"Tess!" I tried to walk faster until I felt his arms around me.
"Max...please." I tried to keep myself from sobbing.
"I lied. There is no blonde girl, I just...I was stupid. I've always wanted you." I turned to him and felt his cold hands against my face. "If at all I could've been talking about my mom." I let out a soft laugh which made him smile a little.
"Now, please don't go. I just barely got you back." His arms wrapped around me again and held me against his chest. I felt warmth surround me, maybe this winter, this time, I won't have to spend it alone.
