Something, Nowhere (The Boyz Q Fanfiction/ Reader-Insert) [COMPLETED]

Ch. 12: Beauty is Subjective

• Y/N •

"Did you have a fight with your roommate?" The nurse that watches over me asks me another pointless question as she adjusts my clothing for tonight's ball.

I roll my eyes in response. She always tries to get every single information about me. Does she think she's doing a good job of spying on me? She isn't even stealthy at all! Just what exactly is she even trying to do?

"Y/N? I asked you a question; could you please answer it?" she asks, and her voice is calm as she does.

As if she's never done anything wrong.

"No," I tell her. I'm sure, if I tell her I did have a fight with Changmin, she would just keep asking more questions. And I hate that.

Though, with the way I replied, I doubt she'd believe that I had told her the truth.

She sighs audibly, then she turns away from me as she begins checking the other dresses on the hanger. "Y/N, you do realize... that just like all your other roommates, Changmin isn't gonna be around forever, right...?"

Once again, I roll my eyes at her. "And your point is?"

"My point is that it's not everyday that you get a roommate that quickly forgives you after every wrong thing you did," she explains as she turns back to me, holding another dress for me to try out. But her words only immediately make me frown.

"What? What did I even do wrong?" I draw back from her, a frown on my face as I spoke. "What do you mean 'every wrong thing'? Is this about that thing with you and that nurse again?"

"Y/N..."

"Or is it about Changmin's pill? Is it really my fault if you literally give me nothing to do because you never want me out of my room?"

"Y/N."

"I DID NOTHING WRONG! WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS MAKING IT SEEM LIKE I'M THE BAD GUY?!"

"Y/N!" The nurse snaps, and I look at her, suddenly intimidated, as she grabs me by my shoulders and looks at me sternly.

Why... this woman...

"Y/N," she speaks, suddenly calm, and her grip on my shoulders loosen as the look in her eyes soften.

Why is she getting mad...? What did I do wrong?

"Listen to me," she speaks again. Unfortunately, I have no other choice but to look at her and listen. "Changmin... is special. He has more kindness than most people do in this world, and I suggest that you treat him fairly for all he has to do for you."

Her words disgust me. She calls me her patient, and so why is she more concerned with another patient now? "... So you like him more than me now?" I ask her, my face all scrunched up.

Her expression doesn't change, however. Almost like she was expecting me to say that...

But that's probably only because this isn't the first time I've said something like this.

"Y/N... Be a little more kind, please? I know it's hard, but at least, put some effort into letting your roommate live a little more this time. I cannot have you dealing with all that all over again."

Ha... She's disguising it as genuine care for me again.

I would have said something, but I'm already tired of arguing and I don't feel comfortable in this position we've gotten into... And so, I only free myself from her grasp, not saying anything.

"..."

~

"Look at that. You look beautiful," the nurse soon tells me after she had finished preparing my clothes, ending with a sunflower hairpin on my hair. She steps back and smiles in adoration before she leads me to the mirror to look at myself.

"Beautiful"? She's only saying that now. But the moment I step out onto that room, even she will know that everyone will see me once again as a monster.

Beauty is subjective, after all. And no one can force them to think otherwise, because it's already been etched into their brains "what I had done".

I look at the figure in the mirror: a young woman dressed up for a special occassion. Her hair drawn back after such a long time and showing her face. I can see she wants to hide. But it's not like either of us have a choice anyway. I still had to go out there, and she's coming with me, whether she likes it or not.

After all, if there was anything I ever had in common with everyone else, it's that I also had demons I had to face.