You Don't Know

Chapter twenty

I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my head buried in my hands. Quiet sobs occasionally escaped my throat, even though I wasn't quite sure why. I tried not to blame Jack, because he was scared and he didn't know how to help himself, and something bad actually could've happened, but nevertheless, there was this voice in the back of my head that screamed, he should've just gone to the police. Because then, I could've been spared all the pain. Everyone could've been spared the pain.

My thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked on the door though.

"Hey." Mona said with a soft smile on her lips. She stuck her head through the door, but when I quickly wiped my tears and nodded at her, she came inside, carefully closed the door behind her and sat down next to me.

While I stared forward at the floor, Mona had her eyes on me. She placed her hand on my back and soothingly moved it in circles.

"Do you want to talk?" Mona still looked at me, so I finally turned my head towards her, to look in her sweet, green eyes.

"I don't know..." I really struggled to find the right words. Because of course I wanted to talk. Everyone needs to talk to someone, but I just didn't know how to say what I was feeling without it sounding like I was a terrible person.

Mona waited though. She smiled and was really calm, which helped immensely. She gave me all the time I needed, until I finally felt like I could talk.

"I...I'm angry... But I don't know at who. You know? I want to blame Jack, and maybe he deserves it, because I don't know if what he chose to do was the right thing to do. He could've gone to the police. I'm sure they could've helped before anyone would've got hurt. Don't you think? I don't know... But on the other hand, he just wanted to protect us... but he should've never taken that job... but he didn't know what he would get into." I sighed before I buried my head in my hands again. Everything was just so complicated.

"Well, I think it's okay that you're angry... I mean people always have a choice, and I know I didn't know Jack, but... he did do illegal things. He has to live with the consequences... And I know that you love him... or care about him... but that's no excuse to not judge him for his deeds. Just because he didn't want to do it, doesn't make it any less bad that he did do it... especially when the police could've helped. Even if we don't know that."

I had no idea what to believe or what to do, so I decided to just believe Mona. It made things easier. I would always care about Jack, but I also wouldn't feel guilty if I had my doubts about his decisions.

"Okay... Thank you." I stood up and reached for the doorknob but stopped to turn to Mona again. "I still want him to get home."

Mona was still sitting on the bed, but when I looked at her with a determined look, she just smiled, stood up as well, and we went back to the others.

We entered the living room, where everyone expectingly watched us. Jack was still nowhere to be found, but I wanted to talk with Albert first anyway.

No one spoke, so I just asked straight forward. "So, um Albert, ... what do you think after what you heard? ... He's going to jail, isn't he?" I asked with my head down.

"Well... I'm sorry Ena, but I'm afraid he might go to prison. This can be from one to ten years, but if he cooperates and helps to get behind the whole thing, which I think he will, then I don't think it's going to be that long... He should definitely turn himself in though, because he can't keep living here like this forever, and he could help us to get Paul..."

I knew after the second I saw that gun in Frank's box that something illegal was happening, and after what Jack told us, I imagined that he would have to go to jail. And I still thought it was better than to let him live in that hut, but to hear the words actually coming from Albert made it sound so much scarier. One to ten years in a prison, every day. That was tough...