You Don't Know

Chapter seventeen

When I finally got back up, I wiped my tears away, though it felt like I was suffocating, holding new tears back. But there was nothing I could do in that moment.

I wanted to go back to the others, so I could at least still find Jack, after I had lost Collin apparently.

Nick and Collin were already back too. They all were sitting with their heads down, awkwardly looking up occasionally, scared to even breathe. And Collin was sitting a few feet away on a rock with his head buried in his hands. The tension was nearly not bearable.

After Collin noticed that I was back, he stood up and looked at everyone but me. "Is everyone ready to move on now?" He sounded so reproachful, and I couldn't help but to notice the darkness in his eyes. Usually they were this beautiful brown, but no I couldn't look at them without my heart contracting.

Mona, Lia and Albert looked at me and saw that I had cried. I guess they figured what happened, so they didn't contradict Collin even though I could've imagined that they had rather stayed a little longer, but with the tension in the air, no one wanted to stay in place. I didn't think Collin was ready to go either. He probably just didn't want to sit there while everyone was remaining silent and staring at him and me. Honestly, neither did I.

I felt so sorry. And I knew that this was all my fault. I had fucked up. So I was glad that we walked again even though I was still a little tired from the walking and the crying before. It was still hard to hold back the tears, but I just didn't want to cry in front of everyone.

Nick and Collin were walking ahead this time. Mona and I were the last ones and Albert and Lia in between to get as much distance as possible between Collin and me. No one was saying anything the whole time, so Nick started talking about some stupid football game. I didn't think anyone was listening. But after all, it was better than silence, so I was okay with it.

And then... a laugh. I heard Collin laugh. I had no idea what Nick said to make Collin laugh, but I was glad he did. It let the fist around my heart relax just a little bit.

After Collin was busy talking with Nick about football, Mona dared to ask me.

"So... what happened?" Her voice sounded so careful, almost scared.

"I... I... screwed everything up." I whimpered. Talking without letting the tears flow seemed impossible.

"What did you do?"

"I... I can't. I feel like an idiot."

"It's okay. I'm sure you're not an idiot. You must've had a reason for what you did. So it won't be anything you can't fix. Just give it some time. You'll see."

"No. I-" I swallowed back the rest of the words to prevent me from falling to the ground and sobbing again. I wanted to tell Mona, because she was the sweetest person I knew, and I was sure she could help me, but I just couldn't talk. Not yet.

After that we returned to silence and listened to Nick. Albert and Lia were the only ones who actually had some fun on this trip. Nick was busy to keep Collin from thinking too much and Mona had to endure me in self-pity.

"Wait!" Albert suddenly exclaimed, though it sounded like he was rather trying to whisper, while he grabbed Collin and Nick with each a hand and pulled them down to the ground. Everyone was so shocked that we all got down on our knees as well.

We looked out, trying to find what made us kneel. And first, I couldn't see anything, but then, a little further away from us, between a few trees, I saw it. Over there was standing a full-grown grizzly bear. The others saw it too, leading to everyone remaining as quiet as possible.

Because I grew up in Vancouver, I was quite familiar with bears. I've encountered some before and knew how to behave around one. Therefore, I wasn't too scared, though I still had a lot of respect for those creatures.

I slowly got up again, gaining everyone's attention. I spoke with a strong voice. "As long as we don't run away, and don't anger it, we are fine." Through my loud speaking, I got the bear's attention, just like I wanted. Like that he was aware of us.

Mona and Albert glared at me, as to say, what the hell I was doing, because the bear then was looking at us. I, on the other hand, thought it was rather just really impressive. Once again, I was fascinated by mother nature. How big and tall the bear was, and the color of his fur. The brown reminded me of Collin's eyes, but I didn't allow myself to think about it in that moment. Between the green of the forest, it just looked so beautiful.

The others were still a little scared, but I reassuringly smiled at them and nodded. So they got on their feet as well.

"Don't worry. We can just walk around the bear. But don't move too frantically though and talk loudly, but don't yell at it." I said, while I started to walk around the bear in a big arc.

"Okay. Are you sure?" Mona asked.

"I grew up with occasional visits from bears. So, yeah."

Everyone followed my lead and a few minutes later, we were back on track and out of sight of the bear.

"I remember... Jack, my grandfather and I also encountered bears when we stayed here in the hut." Lia shared. "I guess, I must've repressed that memory."

"My grandfather and I never saw a bear in the woods, but I guess we just weren't in a bear territory." Albert added.

"With the boy scouts I also never saw a bear." Nick explained.

"I'm just glad we got away. And honestly, I don't have to meet a bear again." Everyone had to chuckle at Mona's comment and with that, the tension slowly started to fade.

We walked another few minutes until Lia heard something. "Wait guys! Do you hear that?"

We all stopped our conversations and listened carefully. At first, I just perceived the sounds of the forest. I heard birds chirping, leaves blowing in the wind, small animals rustling in bushes. But then I heard it too...

"Water!" I exclaimed.

"That must mean we are close, right?" Mona asked hopefully.

And yes. The hut was near a lake. After that we just followed the sound of the water. The map and the compass weren't that accurate, so we trusted our hearing and Lia to recognize anything.

Only minutes later we actually saw the water. It was a small river probably leading to the lake, so we decided to follow the flow.

"Omg, look!" Albert pointed ahead, while he turned his head to us, to make sure we were looking. But he didn't have to, because we all saw it and we couldn't tear our eyes away.

We had arrived at the lake and the view was just so, so beautifully breathtaking. The clear water, the mountains and the trees around it, the rocks at the lakeside. My breath literally stopped for a brief moment.

"Can we please go swimming?" someone asked. I didn't get who it was, due to the fact that I was still too mesmerized by the view.

Just when I heard someone else answer, I frantically looked at them again. Because it was Collin's voice who had spoken. The whole time he didn't say a word, and suddenly he spoke again. When I processed the words he spoke, I understood though.

"The hut has to be close now. I think we should just get it over with, so we can all go home again." His voice was monotonous and his eyes so cold. No one dared to say something, so we got moving again.

Lia finally recognized trees and rocks, so she could lead the rest of the way.