Groupie - Minsung

10 - Worth The Risk

They waved and finally departed. Minho was the first to get home, he entered as quietly as possible to not wake Felix. He checked to make sure the food he had left for him was eaten and then went to his room. He took a picture of himself with his head on his pillow and sent it to Jisung as confirmation that he got home safe.

His heart was still pounding from the multiple close calls throughout the night. It felt like they were both desperately trying to get closer to each other, only to pull away when they couldn't play it off as a joke anymore.

It didn't make any sense. Jisung wasn't even Minho's type. He was so carefree and cheerful, someone who made you forget all of your worries. He was exciting and spontaneous, while somehow still making Minho feel comfortable.

A few minutes later he got a text from Jisung. It was him sitting at a desk with a laptop, posing with a thumbs-up. Minho smiled, saved it, then looked through his camera roll. He had so many great pictures of the two of them together. He chose the best ones and sent them over to Jisung.

"Maybe I should be a model instead of a musician," Jisung replied.

Minho put his phone down and for the first time today he felt exhausted. The thought of meeting up with Jisung had kept his energy up all day, and finally seeing him had been so invigorating that he hadn't even noticed how tired he was.

Jisung, on the other hand, was still running off adrenaline. He ran his hand through his hair as he recounted the events of the night. He started worrying that he had overstepped his boundaries by getting so close to Minho so often.

He had his producing program open on his laptop, but he had no motivation to actually get to work. He looked at 3RACHA's website, wondering which song was Minho's favorite. All of his thoughts had been consumed by Minho recently.

He laid his head down at the desk, disappointed in himself. He had allowed himself to catch feelings for Minho when he knew full well he shouldn't. Jisung wasn't boyfriend material. Minho deserved so much more than he could offer. Besides, if there even was a possibility that Minho liked him back, he had most likely fallen for a version of Jisung that wasn't real.

Jisung sighed as he felt tears brimming in his eyelashes. He had always been able to ignore crushes until they went away. They were just passing fancies that he was able to get over almost immediately simply by avoiding them, but Minho was so magnetic. Jisung couldn't stop himself from coming back.

He was fully aware that would only end in heartbreak. He also acknowledged the fact that he really didn't care. Minho was worth this.

That is, of course, if Minho thought Jisung was worth the risk too. Jisung had to pull himself from spiraling too deep into that thought process. There was just too much to put into consideration and he knew getting caught up in his own mind was a dangerous thing.

Changbin knocked on his door frame and entered without an answer. "Jisung, what's wrong?"

"Who said something was wrong?" Jisung responded, his voice muffled as his head was still buried in the crook of his arm.

"The horrible vibes in this room are permeating the whole house," Changbin said, taking a seat on his bed. "Explain yourself"

Jisung paused for a moment. "Do you know what it feels like to be in love? Well, maybe not love, but like, possibly love?"

Changbin blinked in confusion. "Are you saying you're interested in someone?"

"Perhaps," Jisung admitted out loud for the first time. "I don't know, though. Is there a way you can tell"

"In my personal experience," Changbin started. "You don't agonize over 'just friends' relationships like this, you probably are interested in this guy"

Jisung's expression soured after hearing it said by someone else. It was a truth he already knew, but having it out in the open like this made it all too real. Feelings were an issue that had to be dealt with.

"It's Minho, isn't it?" Changbin asked. Jisung returned with a glare. "Ah, so it is"

"You and Chan need to stop gossiping about me," Jisung hissed.

"We worry about you," Changbin admitted, ruffling Jisung's hair. "How can I help you?"

"Get rid of my feelings" Jisung responded instantly.

"We can't do that"

"Then nothing," he laid his head back down. "Leave me and my horrible vibes alone"

"Absolutely not," Changbin shook his head. "Why are you so upset about liking someone? Having a crush should be fun"

"It's not," Jisung shot back. "I hate it"

"Why?"

Jisung didn't want to get into all that right now. He didn't have enough time to delve into why he felt he wasn't good enough for any relationships, let alone romantic, let alone with someone who was so amazing. He knew that Changbin would sit there and listen to all of his complaints if he were to try and explain, but he didn't want him to feel obligated to.

"What if..." Jisung started, trying to find something that would explain his hesitation. "What if he isn't gay?"

"Ask him" Changbin responded.

"That's so awkward though," Jisung whined, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling. "What if he thinks I'm weird?"

"Jisung, if someone thinks you're weird for even asking if they're gay, you shouldn't be hanging out with them"

"Yeah," Jisung responded. "I guess you're right"

Changbin got up, hugged Jisung from behind, and kissed the top of his head. "Good luck"

He exited the room, leaving Jisung alone to consider what he had said. Maybe it was time to just ask Minho. What was the worst that could happen?

He opened his phone and quickly typed out the message, "Hey Minho, random question, but what's your sexuality? No pressure to answer"

He hovered over the send button for way too long, then hit send. He kept playing Changbin's words in his head to calm himself down as he waited for a response.

He wasn't exactly sure when he fell asleep because he spent most of the night worried that Minho was going to stop talking to him. He hadn't responded. A million thoughts raced through his mind, alongside just as many conflicting feelings. At first he was grieving that he could have possibly lost a great friendship. Then he was angry that Minho would throw away their friendship over something like this. Then he scolded himself for even thinking that, because Minho just hadn't responded yet.

He tossed and turned all night, regretting sending the text so late. He wouldn't know Minho's response until morning.

In his few moments of critical thinking, Jisung trusted that Minho wasn't homophobic. He even got to the point of admitting that there was something between them. The small hope was the only thing that soothed him enough to sleep.