Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 2 Uncertainty

Lily's P.O.V.
I look for the Autobots I want to ask to come on this vacation. I wasn't told a limit or even asked about my list. Though I put a lot of thought into this. Vivian didn't even say how many bedrooms are in the house she and Cade bought, but I feel like it's a big house, considering both other houses are big.
I only hate adding this is still pending, as Drift doesn't know the plan yet. The bots I ask agree that my list is good enough, that a vacation like we did in December isn't a good idea right now. They do think a beach day with everyone would be fun.

I give Vivian my list and tell her there are no dates set, as I have to talk to Drift. She's tempted to join the conversation, but I don't think it'll matter.
"Even Crosshairs seems hesitant to take Jamie on this vacation," I point out, "what the hell goes on in her dimension?"
"No point in worrying about it, and there's nothing you can do," Vivian says with sadness.
She goes to talk to Crosshairs and Drift without me.

Vivian's P.O.V.
"What?" Crosshairs asks.
"Bad timing?"
Crosshairs sighs, "he doesn't know yet, but I think he'll refuse. There's a serious issue."
I didn't think he'd tell me, and it's bad. I tell him that even with this issue, this trip could be good for Jamie and tell him I'll send him a text with the list of Autobots looking to join us. All I leave out is I think we need to have Prowl or Red Alert join us.

Red Alert, Prowl, and Inferno are in the security office. The three question why I'm here.
"I'd rather ask here rather than in the cafeteria," I tell them, "even if the question is if you want to join me and several others on vacation?" The three mechs look at me like I forgot what happened during the Christmas vacation, "I didn't forget what happened, but I think this is good for Jamie. I know Optimus has told Jamie's guardians that Jamie should stay here, and now there are complications."
"The whole situation is complicated," Prowl sighs, "I'm coming. More to try to spend time with Jamie. Though Red Alert should take a vacation."
"I'd rather spend time with her here first. Yes, I know I went on the trip in December, but I didn't spend time with Jamie." 
"Fair enough, but I'd like to go," Inferno comments.
I add Inferno and Prowl to the list and tell them things are still pending before leaving the room.

"Optimus, sir, is it possible for you to join the group?"
"It's a risk, but I think you should," Lennox adds.
We know the Decepticons could plan an attack, but we have a protocol.
We're still waiting for Drift's approval on this vacation. Aware of how worried he is about Jamie.

Drift's P.O.V.
Lightning stays with Jamie while Crosshairs and I talk to Ratchet. The fact that he asked to see us is a concern, and I'd rather not talk about what Jamie has been dealing with. There's nothing Ratchet can do, considering there is nothing Crosshairs and I can do.

I can't believe what Ratchet is telling us. The way he's finding out that Jamie is still thinking dead is better. 
"I put those papers somewhere she won't look," he tries to assure us, but the fact that she wants to sign that paper. Even as her guardians, Crosshairs and I can't stop her.
"You're keeping something from Rung and me," Ratchet argues.
"It's nothing," I mumble.
"It's something —."
"I said it's nothing!" I yell and walk out of Ratchet's office and the medbay.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
"What the frag was that about?"
"It's complicated and nothing you can help with."
"Are they arguing?"
"No, he's not liking how he can't help Jamie, and making her happy is a challenge," Ratchet is trying to get answers out of me, "you don't listen, do you?!"
Now it's my turn to leave the medbay. Drift doesn't want everyone to know, considering how they can't help.

"What happened?" Lightning asks.
"It's bad," I tell her, uncertain if I should say anything else. She saw Jamie earlier, so she knows Jamie is ok, and as if he knows, Drift joins the conversation.
"And you're going to keep me out of the loop again," Lightning sighs. I look at Drift, uncertain if he wants anyone to know what his girl is thinking. I didn't think he'd nod. I hate scaring my sister, but she wants to know, "damn, I hate how there's nothing we can do. I can't believe it...."
The two of us hug Lightning.
"She's still thinking about that, isn't she?" Lightning asks once Drift goes back into the room.
"Yes, I think Drift loves the idea, but it's not a good time. That's what Drift is hiding from Ratchet because there's nothing he can do to help them."
"I think you should tell Drift about the trip. This would help both of them. I know there's the concern that it'll be like December...."
"He hasn't been able to relax. His meditation turns into picturing Jamie dead. The only good thing is that the nightmares aren't back. I'll talk to him."
Drift isn't sure about the trip, but there's a concern no matter where Jamie is. Though he's uncertain if this is a good idea, he likes Lily's idea of stopping in each state. This might be a good two-week vacation. First, we need to see if Optimus is ok with this. Knowing him and Cade, there's a ground bridge on the property.
I leave the room to talk to Lily and Optimus.

Drift's P.O.V.
I'm unsure of a lot of things now and hate it. Fear that I'd be accused of being ridiculous trying to help Jamie haunts me. The soldiers here thankfully understand, but with every new soldier, I fear the luck will run out one day. One reason I don't think Jamie should be here. Here is better than her dimension, but it's not great.
"This is why we can't yet," I comment, rubbing Jamie's abdomen, not caring how weird this is. A tear rolls down my face at the idea that I can't give Jamie what she wants and that I could find her dead, "I don't care if I'm being ridiculous. I say it's called loving someone who's hurting. I wish I knew what to do."
I get my phone and earbuds to listen to music.