Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 15 I want You Two To Be Happy

Drift's P.O.V.
Crosshairs, and I couldn't get Jamie to do much. Not even play video games with the twins and Lily. Crosshairs even questioned if Jamie was getting sick, but she's not. Vivian brought an outdoor rocking chair for our balcony. She is concerned about Jamie's lethargy, watching Crosshairs cherry her out to the balcony and sit on the rocking chair.

"You two really should stay here," Vivian insists, "I know her behavior today is showing it will not make a difference, but...."
I sigh, "I don't think a change of location will help her much. I don't know what to do."
"It's going to be a challenge. You know everyone will do their best to help Jamie. You don't have to tell me everything."
Even though she's a femme, I don't want to tell Vivian something that she can't help with.
I feel myself tearing up as she hugs me.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I feel Jamie relaxing as the chair rocks. I don't care if it's odd an adult likes this, nor do I think hearing my heartbeat is the only thing getting Jamie to relax. I can't stop thinking, what if Drift and I met Jamie sooner? But I always come to the same conclusion that it wouldn't matter. I just think if there were things that could have been done, Jamie wouldn't be like this. I can't believe how much things went downhill in three years, rapidly in the past eight months. 
Drift sits on the chair next to me and sighs.
Sometimes I wish we were split spark twins so we could talk without waiting for Jamie to be asleep, but then we'd probably be arguing about who gets to date Jamie. Not sure if Sideswipe is falling for Lily or not, but it's a risk with split spark twins.
Drift and I watch the sunset, but I'm not sure if Jamie is watching the sunset.

Drift's P.O.V.
Crosshairs looks distracted by something as we watch the sunset and as he puts Jamie to bed.
"This is getting to her," Crosshairs comments, "she's sinking deeper into depression. I hate how we can't do anything."
"This is why she doesn't want to say we're together," I sigh, feeling tears roll down my face. 
Crosshairs hugs me. I'm embarrassed that he leads me into the bathroom, but it's our only private space.

"Jamie loves you. You know she's afraid that you'll walk away from her — that we'll walk away from her — after what she's dealt with for years and what she continues to deal with. When Optimus sees how much Jamie loves us compared to others whom Jamie befriended. Remember, he said he never thought Jamie would fall for an Autobot? I'm not helping, am I?"
"You are; I just —."
"I know, but I don't know if thinking one day you two could have a baby is good. I know thinking positive is good, but...."
"You are terrible at encouraging positivity," I laugh.
"We're not together romantically, but I want to do everything I can to make you happy with Jamie. I want our family to be happy. I know, who'd be happy seeing the one they love with someone else? But I mean it. We're still together." 
"So, how is Lightning?"
"She hates that there's nothing we can do. Just like the others."
We talk about possible ideas to get Jamie out of the house. Hoping not to have to force her. Hoping to let everyone join us in activities.
"Thinking about a positive outcome is supposed to be good, but I can't. I just think about how I'm failing my girl."
Crosshairs hugs me before we go to bed.

I abruptly wake up, but I've been able not to scream, knowing Jamie is asleep next to me. After the nightmare I had, I have to check if she was ok. I sigh with relief, feeling a pulse. Though her snoring should have been enough.
I kiss her and try to go back to sleep. My eyes stare at her abdomen until I fall asleep.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Damn, nightmares are back. I hope last night will be the only time. Seeing Drift holding Jamie close with a hand on Jamie's abdomen, I can tell he also had a nightmare. I kiss Jamie's forehead.
"You don't understand how much we love you, how much you terrify us  that we'll lose you."

Lily looks at me, worried, as I walk into the kitchen. Even Cade looks at me, worried. Which gets Hound worried as he walks in.
Before anyone else walks in, I tell them Jamie is fine and still asleep with Drift. I think they know by now fine means she didn't hurt herself.
Lily still worries about getting Jamie to do something today, and everyone agrees. Everyone knows we try not to force Jamie to do anything, but this will not be good if she stays in our room all vacation.
"May I suggest down to the beach?" Cogman asks.
The others agree, even if they'll stay behind, hopefully just for today. I'm waiting for Hound to get answers from me, but he doesn't ask me anything as we head upstairs after breakfast.
"I want to help make her happy," he says before continuing down the hall.

I sit on my bed, looking at my friends. I didn't hear Lightning walk in and sit on the bed until she hugged me. I can't even say Jamie will be ok as I hug Lightning. I don't know anymore.
"I don't think there's anything we can do, and I hate it," she tells me, "when even Drift doesn't know what to do."
"It sucks this should be easy, but there are too many concerns even with so many friends who would love to help. Unfortunately, the challenges won't be easy for us to deal with, and we think telling the others won't help."
"I know you and Drift don't want to force Jamie to stay with us, but maybe we can convince her to stay."
"Let's just worry about the vacation first."