Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 7 Can't Stop Thinking About It

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I'm happy with the new room arrangement at Jamie's house though it's odd to most. What's supposed to be a family room is now a bigger room for Jamie. Drift, and I put beds in the room. I'm amazed that the two said three beds instead of two, considering Drift sleeps with Jamie. Our technology allows the beds to be invisible and intangible. Now I see how it's a guest bed. Lightning will stay overnight tonight. Drift and I will camp with Jamie tomorrow night, and she agreed to return to our dimension.
I look at my friends asleep, with the feeling of dread that I can't help them. At least for a while.
"Meow!"
I look at the black cat, who is not pleased that I didn't immediately go get his food.

I return with the cat's food and set it on his stand. I end up taking care of the bearded dragon and rabbit. When I put the rabbit in his playpen, Drift is awake and watching me.
"Going to feed the birds, too?" He smiles.
"They're out already and can eat bugs."
I follow him back to the room and sit on my bed with him.
I can tell he's already worried about Jamie. I still can't get used to seeing him worry, but I've never seen him in love before. Add the details that are of concern this time. The cat jumps on the bed and demands to be patted. Purring loudly as Drift pats him. We're tired of having the same conversation over and over, but maybe it's good for our mental health.
I side hug him as he pats the cat. This doesn't last long before Drift goes back to bed.

Crosshairs: Hey, this is probably unusual and unprofessional, but do you have time?
Rung: this is unprofessional, but I know what you've dealt with.
I don't know if he's been told or not. I'd rather not kill his mood this morning if he doesn't know.
Crosshairs: I hate not knowing what to do to help my friends. Drift is already worried.
Rung: I heard what Jamie told Ratchet, and Ratchet thinks you two are hiding something. This has become complicated, and I still don't know how to help her. You know how much I hate that.
He wouldn't know how to help if I told him what he doesn't know.
Crosshairs: I hate feeling like all we can do is keep her safe, but happy is becoming impossible.
The conversation goes nowhere, and I doubt it's because we're texting. 
Drift isn't asleep, but tears roll down his face as he holds Jamie close to him. Do I need to worry that he checks if her heart is beating? Though I think I'm close to wanting to do the same. 

Drift's P.O.V.
I hate not knowing what to do. There's good and bad no matter what decision we make. Jamie won't be able to handle a miscarriage, and with the stress, she deals with just being home, I fear it'll be likely. Honestly, I think her family gives her more stress than this adventure. I'm about ready to argue her mom lied to her when she gave Jamie the idea. Though I could tell Jamie had thought about a baby before that conversation. Unbelievable, she has been thinking never for years. Now it's like the universe has decided never. So I'm either failing my girl or appearing to act ridiculous to others. I hope this vacation will help both of us. 

Lightning comes here before Jamie wakes up. I hate how she knows Jamie likes to stay up late but knows that's not why Jamie is asleep late this time.
Saying nothing, Lightning goes outside to play with Jamie's niece.

Jamie is up to take care of the birds. The little girl follows in bare feet.
"Oh boy, she's going to need a bath," Crosshairs jokes. I only smile, "I know. I am also worried. Wish I could say I'm always with her and can help, but I know that won't be enough. It's feeling like we're losing our little lady."
I know he'd love to let Jamie and I have a family, but there are too many concerns even if all goes well with the pregnancy. Just something else we can't stop thinking about even know we can't figure out a solution.
Even Lightning watches Jamie and her niece, hating there's nothing we can do. Therefore, we don't want to tell any other bots. They worry about her enough, and it's been a challenge to help her.
"I hope this vacation helps her, but being here," Lightning sighs, "I can tell we'd be lucky to get her to be ok during the vacation."
I shouldn't be, but I'm happy Lightning doesn't know everything about Jamie's mental health. She'll panic hearing about the DNR, even if it's not signed. I don't think Lightning sees how rapidly Jamie's mental health has been since the two femmes met, and I feel like that's when her mental health has gone downhill quickly.
"Can we stop talking about this until we can do something?" Lightning asks.
"Rung argues this is good," Crosshairs tells her, "though even I question that."
We drop the subject and watch the two femmes feed the birds.

Lightning's P.O.V.
I feel that there's more I don't know, but what I know is enough to add that there's nothing anybot can do. Even with all the support they'd have, it's not enough to tell Drift and Jamie to start a family. I doubt Drift also believes Optimus wouldn't approve. I only hope this vacation is a distraction. Also, Jasmine and Ratchet aren't excluded because Audrey would be with them. I know Crosshairs and Drift wouldn't do that even if seeing the kids upsets Jamie. 

As we go into the house, I can tell Jamie is upset, and it hurts Drift knowing the cause, while it displeases Crosshairs and I that there's nothing we can do. I hate leaving the three, but I said I'd spend time with the little girl.
"Go with her," Crosshairs tells me, referring to Jamie's niece, "you know Jamie hates how others see her hurt."
"Can't we do something?"
"You know why we can't argue that they'll have support. I wish we'd be enough," Crosshairs sighs and hugs me.
This weekend is already scrap, and I worry the vacation will not be great.